Monthly Archives: April 2015

Your Existence and Presence Matters

Your Existence and Presence Matters

Your Existence and Presence Matters

 

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2015/04/17/your-existence-and-presence-matters/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

First of, who so ever made it a rule that you have to be solely responsible for relieving someone of their pain, discomfort, misery and/or hurt. Recognizing that someone or a situation needs help, adequately shows your care and your willingness to support.

You extend the support that you know and you are willing to share. Then, connecting them to other right support system is what you could do, for further help.

However, there is a possibility that you are not in a position to arrange or share the support information. Then you need not get worked up on what you have not been able to do.

You become aware of someone’s painful situation or of a painful situation. You have every right to avoid/move away from them/that because you can’t handle their pain. You can only give what you have. If you don’t have the ‘bearability’ of the situation, you cannot support any other person. This is very fair on your part. You need not feel guilty about anything.

However, please remember that your pain or discomfort cannot be greater than one who is actually in the situation.

So, maybe, just maybe, you could, if and when you are ready, choose to give yourself the option to go past your discomfort and be there to soothe this person’s pain, just by your presence in their space.

It might just be the motivation that they need.

This gesture of yours could also be an example that will be followed by that person or others to make a same/similar contribution in someone else’s life.

Something to ponder over is, ‘if everyone, starts avoiding anyone that is in pain or discomfort then it may lead to a world of avoidance.’

Having said that, if it is still not possible for you to face the pain and if it’s too much for you then please don’t be hard on yourself, you can send good feelings and pray/wish/affirm for the person or situation for their welfare.

Why do you get affected by someone else’s situation(s)?

The main reason for that is, you start analysing, visualizing how you would handle had you been in that situation. Based on what you believe your abilities are to handle the situation, you get into ‘fight and flight’ response. You create a movie in your mind of the situation. You decide how you can or cannot handle the situation. Your present reaction is based on the end of the movie you have made in your mind. You are so stressed that you decide it is too much for you and you allow resistance of all kinds to crop up. You are relieved and glad that you are not in that situation. Ultimately you make a choice at that point to run or avoid or wait till the situation passes.

Another reason for hesitating to participate in such situations could be your concern about attracting similar situations in your life, based on your past experiences or based on observations of other’s lives. You have worked on creating a life and you don’t want to risk going back. You need not scare yourself imagining all that.

You can stop this by affirming, ‘I am not attracting that’ also LH affirmation ‘All is well, everything is working out for my highest good, and out of this only good will come of all involved, we are safe.’

Calm yourself down and then make a rational decision whether to and/or how to support the other person/situation. If you do decide to go through and support and fearful feeling or the stress surfaces again then, you could decide to stop or say the above affirmation plus ‘May right help  and support come to me and ‘this person/situation’, we all are safe.’

Thank you for attempting to help. Your presence and existence is enough.

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Addendum …. Why We Did What We Did

Addendum …. Why We Did What We Did

Please know and remember that, every realisation is followed by yet another realisation. Everything that we do or have done is because it was the best we could do based on our understanding or someone else’s belief and/or borrowed belief, at that point of time. Everything that we do helps us survive in that situation. And the behaviour that surfaces because of that is usually your leverage in the survival in those circumstances and situations. The study/ponder over a situation arises only when that earlier “understanding or someone else’s belief and/or borrowed belief”, stops working for us and thus is an indication that it is the time to change.

And change comes by letting go past and then placing new “understanding or belief ”. Only difference is that you/we/one would know better now and this time to a great extent the understanding and beliefs are our own. And is a guarantee that it will work for us at this time.

Understanding my realisation behind my realisation after watching the movie and reading/discussing the book. (please read the previous post https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2015/04/08/eat-pray-love-an-understanding-gained/)

*Because I was always so willing to make changes, I am polite and accommodating and I can fit in every situation. All this is very important and conveniently comes in handy in my present job at IADLife. Only that, now I am doing all that with love and respect for myself first.

* Always willing to try out new things has given me a taste in variety and a chance to look for my higher taste, in every area, in food, clothing, relationships. Again, now I am doing this exploring and not as an obligation to others or as a compulsion. I am having fun being open to new and exciting.

* Being open to different branches in education has helped me be open to new areas to learn and how to amalgamate these knowledge(s) together. This helped me be a good at explaining and in delaying area(s) of knowledge/subject to people with varied back ground.

Taking steps is next. I am to know and to say and to do and to follow steps with faith and self-conviction. Some of the affirmation(s) that are helping me in this process as follows:

I can do it.

Something Awesome Amazing is going to happen to me today.

Something wonderful is about to happen.

All is well, everything is working out for my highest good, out of this only good will come of all involved, we are all safe.

I love life and life loves me multi-fold.

(Source: Louise hay, Pam Grout). And of-couse always, always say what is your highest good.

 

If you have questions please do write to us. We shall together find solutions.

Eat Pray Love – An Awesome Understanding Gained

Eat Pray Love

We decide to watch and discuss the book based on Elizabeth Gilbert’s spiritual journey.

I decided to buy the book and the dvd…but as I needed it today, I ordered it from the google wallet. Searched in You Tube, got that option to rent it for few hours and voila…movie arranged.

I had the movie really for viewing just in time for the T@T6, our wednesday workshop.

I had read few chapters and heard the audio from the you tube and then decided to watch the movie again.

I kept thinking how Elizabeth’s life was so different than mine and how can I relate and let alone learn from her life”s learning. Movies show the same events through the eyes of glamour and they may not be able to depict what people like go through. I was still determined to learn from the author’s experiences.

I made the same statement outloud before the movie started and to the one of the participant  said, we will know what is our learning today. So we started to watch with an open mind.

My realisation after watching the movie.

With every relationships real or phantom I have always been willing to make changes according to the partner. I use to start making plans on how to change my behaviour around my future partner and his family’s. I could never imagine what my desires and needs would be. My schedule, my food habits, my career, my desires and needs, my dress sense, and my behaviour and even my exercise regime would automatically start getting programmed as if a secret code was fed and a start button would execute as soon as a prospective suitor use to come my way.

I also remembered of another movie, Runaway bride, incidentally starring Julia Roberts again. In brief, the female protagonist, an attractive young vibrant lady, always full of life, manages to attract love interest easily. Men in her life fell in love with her easily and in no time she was proposed for marriage, which she use to agree to, but ran away from altar each time. The male protagonist, played by Richard Gere, a newspaper writer, found the events intriguing and visits her town to research on the same to print a story about the Runaway bride. In trying to know her better, he spends time with her, and points out to her that she does not have a mind of her own when she is in a relationship, as she tries to transform herself as her beau each time. He points out this by a simple question “How do you like your eggs”. After this event, there is a scene where she makes herself all kinds of eggs and then for the 1st time decides what kind of eggs she really like, thus discovering something about herself.

What was most fun to realise is that  I  have done the same thing with the jobs and career as well.  When I was looking  for job, 15 yrs ago when I was back from England, my main aim was to get away from my Dad. My second aim was to earn good money.

Ironically, come to think of it, I did the same thing to my education. I just wanted study, because I use feel that I was under the constant threat of that privilege to be taken away from me at any time. I was clear that the study has to be prestigious or atleast has to sound like it. So I chose science, in an attempt to get approval from my Dad. Every study I did was for only these two reasons, I had no plan or thought or soul searching how to use them. After I got into the study/course use to find a way to connect them.

I realise that is what the universe was trying to teach me in relationships. What do I really want and get some clarity on that. Caring about your partner is a good sign but loving yourself is a better idea to live a loving relationship. Along with that as a bonus I have realised that I am being indicated what I might need to ponder on about and for way forward for IADLife. I thank you Elizabeth Gilbert for sharing her life with us to help transform our lives too. I am now prepared to face the daunting but pleasurable task of finding myself. This is the key to my beautiful relationship with myself, which lovingly awaits.

Dear Friend! Movie + Book discussion time, “Eat Pray Love” wednesday T@T6, 08/04/15. Time 10.30am to 12.30 pm

http://itsadeservinglife.com/contact-us/

T@T6 – economical get together for like minded people.