Monthly Archives: June 2015

Internet/social media addiction_de-addiction

Internet/social media addiction_de-addiction

Social medias like Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Google+, WhtsApp etc. are affordable, easily available, user-friendly and easily deleted and re-installed. Messaging and forwarding information is not just made easy, it comes with a social responsibility. However, there are no social network policing, when both the parties (senders and receivers) are complying, or dealing with an untoward situation in the social networking  in their own way, by ignoring or deleting.

While we love Emoticons, it can be confusing.

While social networking have built relationships, it when not used responsibly may cause an array of problems.

Privacy is now optional for some, as they wish to be known and seen by many. There are teenagers who feel misunderstood or not understood enough by their peers or parents and tend to add in anyone who seems desirable or chat‘table’. Their Digital Profile or DP as is called in a hep manner, reflects their mood. They post their selfies in any posture, completely disregarding the warnings that are circulated is directed towards their safety through the same social medias.

On one hand, tracking whereabouts, login time and read indications etc., contribute in keeping friends and family and acquaintances in communication or safe, on the other hand the same features of the social networking are causative agent of stress for many.

Reply from a certain someone, be it professional or personal, can mean anything from care to lack of it, while the truth could be far from it.

In case of children and teenagers sincere efforts are required by parents, by revoking their internet time and blocking sites. Such direct steps in a respectful manner, has been found to be more effective than usage of spywares in these cases.

Social media flirting has brought in couples for counselling. While this is cheating, but because technically no lines are crossed till then, there is no guilt and along with that a solid defense is ready. Sometimes it is started as a feel good factor and becomes an addiction. It takes twiddling of few keys on the smart phone or the keyboard to type and one is in touch with somebody/someone one need not be contacting.

If the couples, family members, friends get into an argument, discussing the matter and solving the issue in hand and  enhancing their relationship, at that point seems like  too much work and requires more energy, instead drowning and distracting oneself into conversations and reading messages from known, unknown people or group is alluring.

A hollywood actress got divorced due to the ‘chat cheating’ as was called. Right after her marriage to a famous footballer, she noticed that her husband was chatting without sharing with her, later she found he was chatting with women friends.

A young client was going through anger issues and during counselling she revealed and realised that her anger stemmed from feeling insecure, as she had noticed her husband of 5 months, was receiving messages at odd hours and had read a chat (accidentally left open) between her husband and his friend, who was a girl. In the chat neither her husband nor that girl seem to care that, he was married. She also recalled that her husband been receiving messages since the day they got married. She was hesitant to ask and therefore kept suppressing her questions, that had been brewing and at-last ended up creating her, so called, unexplained and unprovoked anger issues.

Chat in groups also has caused fights as one seem to get more replies than the others.

Typing few words and sending may not hold much discussion, however as the emotions get attached as per the sender’s or reader’s beliefs, the same conversation is seen in a different light. Everything from size of the reply, to the time of the reply to the type of reply, all contributes to this.

MrX from a known corporate, decided to seek help, as he had lost control over his social boundaries, he was getting in touch with complete strangers and discussing his most intimate details. He was threatened, he was scolded, sometimes some continued chat on the same topic. But, as his chat name was some random alpha numeric one, people were either chatting or deleting him. He was never really in trouble. But, his addiction to look for new members each time for a chat of this kind was keeping him away from family and his relationship at home and work was suffering. He was concerned that he might get caught as one of his colleague was fired, in overseas office branch, for personal internet surfing. With counselling he was given tips to de addict

  •   For starters not be hard on himself, be nice,  if one wishes to chat go ahead, but just suggested to see if he can do something else, go for a walk, play with his kids or pet, cook, go to the coffee machine or water station in office. Gradually, this habit reduces.
  • Use Post it- He was suggested to write down affirmations and keep it were he can read it as many times as possible, “I can do this, I have the will power” “Day by day I am getting better and better” “I love and approve of myself”. Affirmations, increases the vibrations and lifts the will power to change
  • He was also advised to take up fun activities, anything that makes him feel joy.

Addiction is always something that gives pleasure, need not necessarily be good for you. Key to de-addiction is to understand the root cause of the addiction. Most of the cases we have seen it is desire for attention, something that makes them feel good about themselves. Explaining and de-layering to them about the same by trained professional, counsellors or healers, and chalking down simple steps for focusing on oneself, which is self-love not selfish.

While adjusting one’s time according to the responsibilities of near and dear ones is fine, sacrificing something from one’s space is not agreeable. Replace un-necessary sacrifices with simple things like your daily activities,

  • taking bath (maybe twice),
  • exercising (walking or sports one likes),
  • drinking water (keep yourself hydrated)
  • eating healthy and on time,
  • communication with people one on one
  • Brushing teeth
  • Combing your hair

Such baby steps towards self care leads to self love. When you love something or someone, caring becomes easy, efforts required to stand up and stand by  and stand for that person during the healing process seems doable.

One can add movie or museum or exploring other interest in arts and crafts or outdoor fun sports like paintball game or laser gun sport. You will be surprised, how much one finds out about oneself during these activities and once the re-connection starts with self, re-connection with the world around is also established, thus, warding off the primary causative agent of the addiction, loneliness or not feeling important enough.

De-addiction is process and might take time to completely come out of the addiction, but it is a necessary. There are chances one might slip and go back to their old ways, but when one decides to rehabilitate again, ‘support‘ works like a charm.

Another process or technique that has worked like a charm is the tapping sessions or EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), along with counseling and we have found this process to be very effective.

Approval is the basic necessity of humans. Approval is acknowledgement of one’s presence or existence. When approval is not received from expected corners, one ventures towards unknown pastures. Proven fact of the matter is only approval one needs is from oneself.

Usage of any privilege or amenities available with respect is the necessary solution to the problems that have arisen due to irresponsible usage of the social networking sites.

Very grateful to mention that the excerpts from this blog article has been mentioned in the Economic Times 26-05-2015, please see link below of the article by Nasline Saliha in Economics Times – “Are you addicted to being e-social”

IADLife-ReenaYadav-in Economics Times – “Are you addicted to being e-social”
http://epaperbeta.timesofindia.com/index.aspx?eid=31815&dt=20150626# page 12

Reena Yadav (Researcher and Proprietrix at IADLife)

Internet/social media addiction_de-addiction

Internet/social media addiction_de-addiction

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Writing Affirmation Made Easy

Writing Affirmation Made Easy

Dear friend! Did you know that affirmation(s) are every word you say. So please say words that works for you. One of the reason affirmations writing and reading and repeating takes time is that , one is never certain if they have covered all bases of that desire. So till one can get a hang of writing very clear, specific affirmations, let’s make Writing affirmations easy.

Just follow these simple steps below

  1. Choose your favourite words
  2. Decide what do want to say and regarding what area
  3. Add these words from 1, to 2, and form a sentence.

For Example

  1. My favourite words are Awesome, Amazing, Fun.
  2. I wish to form affirmation for “My job” .
  3. My affirmation for my job is

“My job is Awesome Amazing Fun”.

Or related ones could be  “My colleagues are Awesome Amazing Fun”.

Hey, then, what about me. So let’s modify. ‘My colleagues and I are Awesome Amazing Fun.

This would encompass every aspect. There could be a question what about salary, environment, food, transportation, timing, progress/growth etc.

You would find the job ‘with good salary, comfortable timings, healthy food, at comfortable distance, good commute, respecting colleagues, intellectually stimulating discussions’,  and everything else that will be up to your satisfaction.

Suffice to say that unless everything is to your optimum satisfaction you would not be content.

Therefore, once and only when, you find that you are happy, ecstatic or comfortable (depending on what you are looking for) with every aspect, it is then that you find the job “Awesome Amazing Fun”

Similarly you could use your favourite term and try replacing in place of my terms here. You will enjoy writing affirmations. You may spend time being more specific as a second set of affirmations for the same area, you wish to enhance or change.

Let’s try these steps again with new area, my favourite “Love Life”

  1. Choice of words “love” or “comfortable” or “happy”
  2. Area is  “Love Life”
  3. My affirmation could be

“I LOVE my Love Life with my Man” “I love my  Love Life with my Partner”

“I am COMFORTABLE with my Love Life with my Man” “I am COMFORTABLE with my Love Life with my Partner”

“I am HAPPY with my Love Life with my Man” “I am HAPPY with my Love Life with my Partner”

You could play around by adding new good feelings to the affirmations and append or modify as per your will. These are easy to write, remember and repeat. When you repeat with least resistance, it manifests faster. Yahooooooooooooo

Enjoy.

Lots of love and best wishes IADLife

My affirmation  “I love my,  Awesome Amazing Fun, Love Life with my Man” “I love my,  Awesome Amazing Fun, Job” “I am Grateful for my,  Awesome Amazing Fun, Love Life with my Man” “I am Grateful for my,  Awesome Amazing Fun, Job”

Gratitude increases the vibrations, at higher vibrations manifestations are sooner…..yahooooooooooooooooooo 🙂

Writing Affirmation Made Easy

Writing Affirmation Made Easy

Creatively Vizualize your Desires

Creative Vizualization

CREATIVE VIZUALIZATION – an opportunity to create and manifest, what you have been believing, is beyond your ‘realm of asking’

This is a combination of two very important words :

‘Creative’ which comes from the word creation which means “the action or process of bringing something into existence”

Vizualization which comes from the word vizualize meaning “form a mental image of; imagine” or  “make (something) visible to the eye”

Now to define it, it is a process of taking “something real and/or absolutely unreal or more than you can expect” but “really really want” and bring it to reality.

“Every Word you say Every thought you think is creating your future” – Louise L Hay, so then why doesn’t all we are saying and wanting and desiring coming true. According to various scientists, Bruce Lipton, Lisa Nicolas (and others that I have read of), it is our sub-conscious mind that rules and plays a major role in our desire manifestation. Also, till now, all that which has come true is a conscious desires and based on what the thought process is, only those results are seen.

So, how do we access our sub-conscious part of the mind, make changes there, or maybe place our request there and get what we so deeply and diligently desire.

Meditations of various kinds like, the ‘watch your breadth’ and the guided ones which carefully takes you from conscious or beta brain waves level to alpha level or by using subliminal audios, where there is method to confuse the left and right brain so that one pays attention only to what is being guided in the audios.

Once the sub conscious mind is accessible then we look at ways of planting our desires that we mean to manifest. Before placing the request, for it to be most effective, it is suggested that we bring our mind to a high energy platform. Which can be achieved by practicing gratitude and forgiveness. Once planted or placed the desires are communicated to Universe. The always agreeing universe (“Your Wish is my command”- the Secret), brings it true for us.

Please remember as they say in Superman movie “With great Power comes great Responsibility”.

Now what to ask. We have just about every area that we want to either to change or enhance or both. Also, this process may require a bit of practice, so what we can suggest is to take any one area in your life – health, wealth, career, relationship, self or any other and practice this process on this. Once we gain success in that area, it boosts the confidence and then we can work the same magic in the other areas as well.

  • Once the area is decided.
  • Let’s choose a specific desire in the same area.
  • It could be materialistic/situational/feeling/any other
  • Of this desire choose how do you wish to see it, as if one is viewing it or one is participating in it.
  • Then decide 3 to 4 images that would be indicative of the desire being fulfilled or it’s end result.
  • “How” will it come happen, is something we need not bother.
  • What Feelings would you like to add to that. Add them. Universe understands feelings as feelings are responsible for vibrations. This is the communication language with the Universe.
  • Get into a meditative state, by relaxing all parts of your body and mind. Know, See, hear, Feel your desire.
  • Add “I/we am/are happy” “I/we am/are  Safe”
  • And then we affirm/wish/pray/declare that may this or something higher manifest in our life (lives)
  • From then on/ now on watch out for any steps, actions that may seem related/unrelated to your desires, but have been suggested to you. You just taken them, follow them.

Question might arise, do you need to repeat it. Well, depends on how much clear were you the first time. If there are changes, go ahead and follow the steps and carry out this process of manifestation again.

If you are not clear on your desire(s), you could still go ahead and re-program yourself into knowing that  “you are extraordinary—unstoppable, powerful, and able to achieve anything you set your hearts on.” This is what Dr Wayne Dyer says to all his children. You can choose to say this to yourself and feed it into your sub conscious level, so that you keep moving towards your higher good without hesitation.

Applications of Creative visualization besides bringing our desires true

  • Re-scripting of something that is bothering or needs forgiveness
  • What would you say to your 14 year old :: Changes one wants to make with the 14year old self (earlier IADLife workshop)
  • What would you say to your 40 or 60 year old :: See how your future self has achieved all that you can think of and ask that ‘future self’, how did you get here.
  • Clearing your sub conscious mind for possible unknown blockages and resistance, to make space for new and awesome

Keep practicing Creative Visualisation and see the magic.

Some of the sources that can enhance your knowledge in Creative Visualisation :

  1. Bill Harris http://www.centerpointe.com/v2/
  2. Learning Strategies: http://www.LearningStrategies.com
  3. Lisa Nicolas
  4. Silva Method
  5. Vishen Lakhiani
  6. Daisy pond method, quantum Jumping, Burt Gold Man
  7. Doreen virtue
  8. Louise Hay

To name a few

Thank you

IADLife

Dear Friends! This T@T6 topic is ‘Creative Visualisation (CV)’, Methods, Processes, What & How to Ask and Manifest, Applications of CV. Let’s learn and apply on and from 17-06-15 onwards in all areas of our lives. Time 10.30am to 12.30pm. Please register soon.

CreativeVizualizationIADLife-The Workshop

CreativeVizualizationIADLife-The Workshop