When others stop listening, I increase my LISTENING
Cordial conversations become arguments when either party has decided not to get convinced by the other, and the listening starts to shut down. This happens when either party is too arrogant, too sure, too resistant, too impatient, too scared to change and/or always scared that something will change them and they are not willing/ready.
If you don’t agree with what the other person is saying, in trying to convince them the following happens (a) your vibration starts to lower (b) the conversation shifts from flow to forced (c) your mind start to close (d) you start to focus more towards convincing someone rather than trusting yourself (e) topic ends abruptly.
The whole conversation transforms into a winning game to convince. Other situational changes that might happen are decibel changes, diversion from original topic, animosity.
This comes from earlier experiences and old beliefs that you have had, which are : (a) unless you prove your point, you will not be superior and will not be able to get the approval (b) if you are unable to be heard i.e. convince, you become the lesser being. All these are untrue.
If you are willing believe that you are speaking your truth. If you are willing to consider that the information from the other person comes from their truth. Then, you could increase your listening and see that it is just word exchange and you have an opportunity to learn that your knowledge is ultimate or an opportunity for you to change.
What you could do is, you if you have an opportunity, place your opinion in the open space of the conversation. This is because this is the information you have, to the best of your knowledge. Do so without any attachment to immediate convincing. You maintain your vibration and be open to reciprocation. Move on to your next task in your life.
This is something that happens with SELF too.
The moment you feel the resistance from within, don’t try to out smart your own self by imposing more conversations to convince. The more you stress on the convincing, the lesser you listen, your focus is on the internal resistance grows, the resistance gains bouncy and will surface more. At this point you could pause your compulsive verbal dialog. Listen to your internal resistance and conversations. The internal resistance holds messages like ‘let go’, ‘have patience’, ‘have faith’, ‘request received’, ‘all will be well’ .
‘Little knowledge is a dangerous thing’ as the saying goes. When you add knowledge to your database, it is then that you know how much of what you know holds water.
With the time you have on this planet, why would spend your time on trying to convince others. Have a lot of value and respect for your knowledge. Be willing to LISTEN. Spend time and energy talking, convincing and discussing with like minded people, but be willing to learn from all.
Thank you and Best Regards
Reena Yadav, IADLife