“Don’t be apologetic. Just acknowledge.”
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IADLife Blog : https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/03/20/just-acknowledge/
As soon as you realise your mistake you might say ……
I am sorry, I am so sorry, I am really really sorry.
You vehemently, profusely and repeatedly say apologetic words, which is encapsulated with guilt and fear. But, why would you do that.
To know this, you need to understand what happens when mistake happens.
When a mistake is made, the following takes place within :
(a) All your past punishments that you got starts to surface as a memory, where you were easily convinced or cajoled into agreeing, that you deserved it because you indeed did commit a mistake.
(b) Other memories that join in to surface are that of you being branded and categorised as an offender.
(c) The un-forgiveness that resulted in punishment and the branding of you being accused, keeps you on guard of the next possible mistake.
(d) If the mistake still happens and you agree that it is a mistake, then even before the past hurt of punishment and branding comes in forefront, you jump to the final part of accepting defeat and you apologize.
There must have been instances where you did not truly make the mistake and yet because of the past branding you have no one to defend you. Eventually you get programmed to accept what is told by others and you straight off declare yourself guilty. You are so unforgiving towards yourself that you forget that you could be your own advocate.
The size of the mistake truly does not matter. It could be something trivial or possibly a major one.
From now, suppose you make a mistake and you realise it or it is pointed out to you. Then, instead of becoming gravely aware of your guilty self and abandoning yourself, stand by yourself. ACKNOWLEGE that it happened and you would like to learn from it, and most definitely in future if you wish, do what you did, differently.
You first forgive yourself then apologise.
When you hurriedly get into guilt, you don’t give yourself a chance to see that, you really would have already done it differently than the norm and that it was not really a mistake.
Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Be on your side and see how that enriches your life with learning and self-belief. After understanding what has happened, acknowledge. That will help you and many others.
‘Sorry’ is a beautiful word that cleansers all the hurt and guilt. You don’t need to say it with fear, say it with self-faith.
Reena Yadav, IADLife
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