Types of RECIPROCATION in loving conversations:
(a) I agree with you
(b) I agree to disagree with you
Conversations and communications are ‘key’ to flow in information.
Conversations lead through love and respect need not have fights. If there is flight then either or both parties are trying to convince, without giving enough respect to the other’s point of view.
During a conversation where there are no fights, there are only two reciprocations:
(a) I agree with you
(b) I disagree with you
Anything outside this is, ‘either of you trying to change each other to speak their language so that either or both of you do not have to put in any effort to prove your point.’
When you either ‘agree’ or ‘agree to disagree’ then, you just place your viewpoint in each other’s space as information.
When you are not in agreement with each other, then you can be in agreement to disagree. When you agree to disagree, it’s mutual, it’s calm, it’s loving, it’s respectable.
‘I don’t agree with you’ or ‘I disagree with you’; the moment you say this, you are telling the other person that you think the other person is wrong. Having confidence in what you agree with is more important than convincing the other, that they are wrong.
Beating people, showing arrogance to people, being rude to get your points through to the other person is a shortcut. If you are doing this, then this is because you think that you are too much in a hurry or you have no chance of convincing the other.
When you either ‘agree’ or ‘agree to disagree’ then, you are not trying for the other person to start speaking your language. You are saying that this is your information and that you are clear about it. However, you are willing to keep the other’s conversation in your space for future consideration.
This is a mutual very beautiful way of saying let us stay with the two view points. You don’t have any compulsion that “you have to speak my language” or “you have to understand what I am saying right away.”
This gives way or allows for the conversation to continue in a smooth manner. And then there is a possibility that as you progress in the conversation, then either of you will agree with each other or again not so. But for the communication to flow and continue, you are giving approval that allows the other person to be in your space and continue sharing, what has yet to make sense to you. In your books, in your understanding, you are not agreeable to the other person’s information, but you are still allowing the other person to speak in your space.
This kind of patience and respect for each other’s words comes from the willingness to know and solve things.
An important point to consider: You try to listen to and reason to conversations with the other person, only if you feel safe.
In other situation, leave.
Have a loving conversation flow.
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034