Be More Focused on Accepting Yourself than Changing Others.
In this form of healing the inclination is towards the changing of the external factors. This is a passive or indirect form of healing. Here the external influence appears so real that you don’t allow yourself to change till you get the indication that there is any change happening with the external factors such as people/person, situation.
Many have an aversion towards self-change, and say “I don’t need to change” or “If only there is x y or z changes, my life will be perfect.”
There is a lot of un-surety when changes in your life or in you are dependent on others. It is also extra work.
Taking external help is quite acceptable and even suggested, when you take the change in/with/for external factors as initial motivation for a push, motivation or to jumpstart your healing journey.
But, only when YOU ARE WILLING to change, your actual enhancement commences.
For those of you who are willing to acknowledge that change in your life begins and augments only by changes within. Changes made within are permanent and certain.
When the clarity has been attained about the mandatory necessity about one’s change emerging from changes within, it is now that you get the inside scoop to understand the factual pre-step which is the part of the process.
Pre-step to CHANGE is self-ACCEPTANCE. Accept yourself exactly the way you are right now. What you are right now, how you are right now, where you are right now.
Why do you need to accept yourself exactly the way you are right now?
You could accept yourself exactly the way you are right now, because of a few reasons.
(a) Releases stress of being not right, self-blame, self-criticism, self-scolding and/or not being enough.
(b) Releases the pressure and obligation of being someone’s else version of you and still not being perfect for them.
That is because this change has external factor requirement and your change fluctuates according to the fluctuation of approval from these external factors.
(c) Raises vibration.
(d) Understanding of self-love love happens in a true light.
(e) There is an increase in self-love.
(f) Brings attention to what is nice, right, beautiful and what you have. All that you could be grateful for in your life.
When you love and accept someone you approve of them. You feel like doing more for them. When that someone is you yourself, it’s a super bonus. Your love for you will supply a steady stream of energy to plow through the difficult tasks of self-change. Thus, you don’t quit. You do it at your speed, understanding, and energy, but you do not give up.
This clarity helps identify where you REALLY could make some changes if you desire to.
How do you accept yourself exactly the way you are right now?
(a) Pay close attention to your words, feelings, and vibrations. When you notice your vibrations are going down and you are feeling low, take your focus on your words verbal or as thoughts. These words are bringing your morale down. Recognise and step out of these self-loathing conduct. Regardless of how subtle they are, trust your instincts.
(b) Start to affirm/say what you truly want for yourself. Write it and keep it available for such occasions.
(c) Till you get to do (b) you could repeat LH affirmation “I love and accept myself exactly the way am.”
Self-change does not make you wrong it, on the contrary, helps you recognise the power that you have to change your life situations. For some of you, it is a revelation. For others, it may be a responsibility you think you are not prepared to take. Do keep an open mind and when you agree that you are ready, then take the step.
Others can motivate, inspire, support and/or be responsible for your change. But you change because you want to. You change for you. Affirmation: “I change for me.” “I change because I want to.”
Reena Yadav, IADLife
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