Monthly Archives: June 2017

Focus On Accepting Yourself

Be More Focused on Accepting Yourself than Changing Others.

Focus On Accepting Yourself

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/06/29/focus-on-accepting-yourself/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

In this form of healing the inclination is towards the changing of the external factors. This is a passive or indirect form of healing. Here the external influence appears so real that you don’t allow yourself to change till you get the indication that there is any change happening with the external factors such as people/person, situation.

Many have an aversion towards self-change, and say “I don’t need to change” or “If only there is x y or z changes, my life will be perfect.”

There is a lot of un-surety when changes in your life or in you are dependent on others. It is also extra work.

Taking external help is quite acceptable and even suggested, when you take the change in/with/for external factors as initial motivation for a push, motivation or to jumpstart your healing journey.

But, only when YOU ARE WILLING to change, your actual enhancement commences.

For those of you who are willing to acknowledge that change in your life begins and augments only by changes within. Changes made within are permanent and certain.

When the clarity has been attained about the mandatory necessity about one’s change emerging from changes within, it is now that you get the inside scoop to understand the factual pre-step which is the part of the process.

Pre-step to CHANGE is self-ACCEPTANCE. Accept yourself exactly the way you are right now. What you are right now, how you are right now, where you are right now.

Why do you need to accept yourself exactly the way you are right now?

You could accept yourself exactly the way you are right now, because of a few reasons.

(a) Releases stress of being not right, self-blame, self-criticism, self-scolding and/or not being enough.

(b) Releases the pressure and obligation of being someone’s else version of you and still not being perfect for them.

That is because this change has external factor requirement and your change fluctuates according to the fluctuation of approval from these external factors.

(c) Raises vibration.

(d) Understanding of self-love love happens in a true light.

(e) There is an increase in self-love.

(f) Brings attention to what is nice, right, beautiful and what you have. All that you could be grateful for in your life.

When you love and accept someone you approve of them. You feel like doing more for them. When that someone is you yourself, it’s a super bonus. Your love for you will supply a steady stream of energy to plow through the difficult tasks of self-change. Thus, you don’t quit. You do it at your speed, understanding, and energy, but you do not give up.

This clarity helps identify where you REALLY could make some changes if you desire to.

How do you accept yourself exactly the way you are right now?

(a) Pay close attention to your words, feelings, and vibrations.  When you notice your vibrations are going down and you are feeling low, take your focus on your words verbal or as thoughts. These words are bringing your morale down. Recognise and step out of these self-loathing conduct. Regardless of how subtle they are, trust your instincts.

(b) Start to affirm/say what you truly want for yourself. Write it and keep it available for such occasions.

(c) Till you get to do (b) you could repeat LH affirmation “I love and accept myself exactly the way am.”

Self-change does not make you wrong it, on the contrary, helps you recognise the power that you have to change your life situations. For some of you, it is a revelation. For others, it may be a responsibility you think you are not prepared to take. Do keep an open mind and when you agree that you are ready, then take the step.

Others can motivate, inspire, support and/or be responsible for your change. But you change because you want to. You change for you. Affirmation: “I change for me.” “I change because I want to.”

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Judge or judgemental

You are pre-programmed to judge. You have an option not to be judgemental.

Judge or judgemental

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/06/28/judge-or-judgemental/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

As soon as your learning starts, you are taught to judge. The training to judge starts much earlier than when you adapt the meaning of the word ‘judging’.

It starts with colors, numbers, alphabets, shapes. Then information of ‘like’ and ‘not like’ gets attached. As you move from one teacher to another, the database of knowledge gets added. Behaviors, styles, class, I.Q./intelligence, physical appearance, E.Q./emotions, are now part of your information databank. Choices are introduced. Choices contribute in making decision(s). Reasons are required for the decision making. Reasons for bias, picks, choices, favorites, preferences, are decided by relying on information from the data bank.

This is the genesis of the programming of your brain to JUDGE.

Using the information from data, facts, statistics you do have to judge. This helps you decide on the day to day activities. What to think? What to say? What to do? All are based on the follow-up product of the judging. So, clearly judging eventually does become the regular and necessary part of the daily routine.

As you live your life moment by moment you simultaneously are judging yourself and/or others.

So you automatically, judge. However, to be Judgemental is a purely optional.

Judging is innocent and harmless. Getting judgemental can be not so pleasant experience for you and/or for others.

When the adverse action gets added into judging, then it becomes judgmental.

When you are judgemental even when the action is words, conversations, opinions, it can be hurtful. It can cause as much or more harm as an aggressive physical action.

Being judgemental instigates making statements that can be far from your true self. These statements become your affirmation even if you are saying about others. Because all the while you think you are saying about others but the conscious and/or subconscious conversation is focussed on you. How you don’t want that. How you don’t want to be that. These affirmations start coming true for you. And when they do, you may not like it.

How to stop from judging to becoming judgemental?

Instead of getting into analysing a person’s or situation, wish them well and safe. Wish yourself well and safe. Show trust that that person and/or you are doing your best and that only good will come out of their/your situation.

So don’t feel guilty or upset on judging or being judged. Don’t get judgemental.

Judging is observing and differentiating. That can be considered a quality. With the articulate, valid and logical reasoning it can be an added asset in a flourishing and thriving career.

 

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

practice RELIANCE not defiance

practice RELIANCE instead of defiance.

practice RELIANCE not defiance

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/06/26/practice-reliance-not-defiance/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

Case Study: ‘P’ a mother of two children, a boy, and a girl, was offended when her girl child was taken out of the building premises without her permission by another building resident ‘D’.

‘P’ was standing with her 5-year-old daughter and ‘D’  happened to pass by, and she directly asked the little girl to come with her while she stepped out of the building gate.

‘D’ took the little girl’s arm, mumbling to the little girl without looking at the mother of the child, ‘let’s go pick up my daughter.’ The mother, ‘P’ just stood there.

Why did the mother not say anything? Why did ‘D’ not consider ‘the mother’s’ presence? Let’s keep the answers to these questions for later.

Another similar incident happened involving the same set of people.

‘D’s’ daughter’s birthday party was an exciting topic of discussion amongst the building kids. ‘P’s’ kids enthusiastically shared with her about the party. ‘P’ was more offended than unsure, as she was not informed directly and her permission was not asked.

She contemplated several scenarios to get answers for such recurring events in her space.

She could have just told her children they cannot go. The reason that she could have shared is that aunty did not inform me, so you guys cannot go.

Chances are children may lie the next time or even in this temperament may try to reason with her, taking the side of that aunty, only to add salt to the wound and aggravate the situation.

Thus, causing a circle of no approval to a justification of no approval, thus raising anger to more of no approval again.

Instead, if she chooses to teach her children RELIANCE, the situation could be resolved for all involved.

Now while the building aunty ’D’ was taking ‘P’s’ daughter without considering taking the permission from the parent. There is a question this mother could put to the daughter in presence of the lady, ‘Excuse me please ‘D’, need to have a word with my daughter.” (smiling or not smiling), “hey baby girl (or name), are you supposed to go without my permission?’

‘P’ could have the conversation where she and her daughter could decide, whether ‘P’ can give permission and the daughter can decide whether she gets to go.’ Then inform the lady ‘D’ of the final decision. Please remember most of the time such situations come unannounced and leave a short span of time to react or decide. These are the times where instead of giving up or saying ‘no’, having conversations and listening builds up the communication.

Now, let’s understand the birthday situation. Because the lady ‘D’ was not present, the conversation has to happen with the children.’P’ could say, ‘Hey, guys! But I am not informed. Wouldn’t it be right/awesome/proper for aunty to inform me too?’ So either child/children inform the aunty to keep their mother updated or ‘P’ could be faced with follow-up questions.

Please remember, these children really want to go to the birthday party. They don’t want to be left behind. They have all their building friends there.

They could ask ‘P’ ‘Do u not trust us?’, ‘Could you call her, and confirm?’

‘P’ could negotiate here. ‘If I do it this time, I want to be informed next time.’ Also, if she gives them an option of going, but can buy the gifts only when she has time in nearest future. This releases the mother’s stress, which was all along the reason. But it reflected as lack of respect and lack of approval.

Are you doing the same behaviour with yourself? Do you give yourself permission to show your reliance, rather than pushing yourself into getting defiant.

RELIANCE is being supportive, loving, respecting, understanding, and communicating.

Defiant is provoking cross questioning, lying, challenging, ignoring, rejecting and misbehaving.

The reason ‘D’ did not ask for ‘P’s’ permission was that ‘D’ has been defiant with herself. She has rejected herself and has taken so much rejection that even a fun idea like the one that she proposed, she was not able to execute without fear. The fear that her fun suggestion will be rejected by ‘P’.

Had ‘D’ been practicing self-reliance, she would have suggested the idea to the mother and then daughter. The idea of asking the little girl to accompany her to pick her friend (D’s daughter).Then ‘D’ would let them decide, and ‘D’ would be comfortable with what they decide.

‘P’ too has been following defiance and therefore could not say anything as she was rarely included for any major decision making in past and at home. She gathered that her opinion did not count. She had information like, ‘you are not important’ and the insult that came with it, ready and loaded at the reaction level. ‘P’ was so busy accessing her preconceived reaction, that she missed the opportunity to converse in the present situation.

When you need to stick to your schedules, practices, routines, when you forget, miss out, quit, what do you say or do to yourself.

Reliance teaches discipline, taking responsibility, showing trust, promotes you to do more, do better, enhance.

It does not teach you escapism that comes from defiance.

Therefore give yourself permission to practice RELIANCE instead of defiance.

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Where & When To Start

If You Are Wondering Where & When To Start. It’s Right here. It’s Right Now. It’s this very Moment.

Where & When To Start

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/06/25/where-when-to-start/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

 

Dear Friend!

You get/have an idea. You are thinking of the resources. You are sketching a design. You are conjuring a strategy. You are waiting for an auspicious moment.

Eventually, you start. Now you are with a plan.

You had a good or not so nice start and then due to some x y z reason(s), you stop, stall or pause.

There is always a reason(s) why something did not work.

But there are many reasons ‘why’ it can work.

‘Being flexible to change’, is the major reason.

List the reasons to keep going. The ‘journey’ itself is the biggest reason. The experience, learning, contribution, growth, joy is what your journey is all about.

Another inducing factor is the thought of your final outcome.

Many times you may not know what exactly the idea/plan leads to. In that case, review your chalked out plan. Decide on what your final outcome could be. The accepted wisdom that helps here is of thinking about how you would like to feel. You would like to see yourself ‘successful, satisfied, and triumphant’. What feelings do you attach with being ‘successful, satisfied, and triumphant’. Keep those as your final goal. This also helps in having a clear understanding of what you can expect after the final step.

Many are of opinion, which mostly stems from your previous experience and/or other’s experience, that is you need to be stressful and have to undergo hardships to achieve. Please change this. Please don’t include anything that has health hazards. So adding “I/we are safe” as an underlying condition is a great suggestion, in the list of things to think/affirm.

If you still need some help there. Then, please affirm “may the result be whatever is the greatest and highest good for all involved.”

Make a vision board, about the journey, the result and/or the existence after this plan is completed. Do visualisation of the steps involved and/or of the final step daily. Please see yourself, comfortable, enjoying, celebrating, accepting, open to ideas and decisive all through the journey.

All this motivates you. To pick up right where you had left off or if you have not started yet, in anticipation of what might follow or entail the path.

Well! now you decide that.

Is the responsibility too much. Then start with something known or start with the known part of the big project/task/idea. Excited yet.

Every moment of your participation in the project/task/idea you have in mind is important. Ideas that you get are always a part of the much larger divine plan. Step back, look at any of your contributions and see where it has lead. Whether you had a creative intent or a destructive one. Everything you do matters.

Know this, be aware of this, but keep the focus on your involvement.

What can encourage and inspire you to take that first/next step! What resources and skills you need. Keep uplifting your morale by assessing how much you have achieved and/or could achieve.

Are you still wondering, ‘where to start?’ This very moment, collect your writing materials and imprint it. That’s a START.

Else, go to the mirror and make a commitment, that you are willing to follow through with your plan. Else, in your mind take help from a higher power to help you with this idea.

Respect your impact on this idea/plan. Take the step.

Start now.

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

I Can Do It

Always Have People In Your Space That Say  To You, “You can do it”, “It’s doable”, “Let’s do it.”

Always Say To Your-self, “I Can Do It” 

(Repeat it like A mantra, it works like A charm)

I Can Do It

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/06/22/i-can-do-it/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

 

Motivate, inspire, and promote yourself every chance you get. Encourage yourself to take the step forward.

Are you lazy, let down, embarrassed, petrified, intimidated or perplexed about the next step? Then know this that, this is only ‘the understanding’ of what you are at this point pertaining to the next step. Letting this understanding keep you from your next action step is limiting yourself.

Limiting is stifling and suffocating. You are depriving yourself and the world of your creativity.

Embrace life that you desire and deserve, that is of you living your optimum potential. Keep your focus on your abilities. Notice what all you are already doing. Give yourself permission to do more.

You are meant to be at your creative best. You need guidance, support and helping hand to achieve. Get into the habit of asking for the help. Persuade yourself to have questions, and be open to receiving and understanding the answers. Allow yourself to explore and expand.

You require courage. You standing by yourself is ample and enough.

Decide your process and pace, customise it as per you.

Always ask yourself two questions several times and at all phases and steps, (1) ‘What do I/you have to get this done’ (2) ‘What do I/you need to get this done.’

All of you and all of your resources are here for you.

You see now, that you have every reason to do what you decide or envision to do. You just need to tell yourself ‘I/you can do it.’

Only consider opinions, suggestions, advice from all who point toward the next step as a possibility. Till you can find/attract the ‘glass half full’ kind of support, you could search for what works for you from amongst this kind of support, making the best of what you have.

If trying to do your task right, properly, perfectly and with precision is the aim. Let that not become your limitation. Don’t keep waiting and/or preparing to be that. Don’t be hard/harsh with yourself every time you fall short or miss the mark.

 

Listen to all but pay attention to only who are saying “You Can Do It”, “It’s Doable”, “Let’s Do It.”

The same goes for your thoughts. Listen to all your thoughts but pay heed to thoughts that boost your morale and energy.

 

Once you get into the ‘I can do it,’ habit, this practice can be extended to others.

 

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Forgiveness Is GIFT

Anything received Before Forgiveness is Compensation. Anything received After Forgiveness Is GIFT.

forgiveness is GIFT

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/06/21/forgiveness-is-gift/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

Anything received Before Forgiveness is Compensation. Anything received After Forgiveness Is GIFT.

Every wrong has righteous probable. And that is to be righted.

Magical and spiritual probable of that is, ‘every wrong could be rightfully followed by forgiveness and gratitude.’

‘Forgiveness’ is done to make space in your life for beautiful new and ‘gratitude’ is for the learning you received through this experience.

There are several and varied ways to right the wrong. It could be verbal, nonverbal and some more other ways. Verbal can be a word ‘sorry’ or a conversation with an explanation or defending the wrongful act. Nonverbal could be through physical gestures, hug, kiss, handshake, something intimate or material things. Other ways can be by writings, blessings or prayer.

Accepting the right in exchange of the wrong is entirely up to the person/party that has been wronged. How and when it is accepted, also depends upon the one that has been wronged.

“Receiving.” When receiving or commanded receiving happens before the forgiveness then, it is a distraction. The distraction is from the work involved in solving and learning from the wrong done by the person or through the situation. It is a compensation.

Compensation is a form of fine or penalty. Reparation for something that is missing or not been fulfilled. This restitution lasts as long as there is attachment or connection with what has been received. It is temporary. It is like a fog/smog which creates an illusion of getting over the wrong or wrong not existing. In fact, it is suppressing the need to understand the wrong. As soon as the fog subsides, the realisation of wrong surfaces with a greater force. By now the opportunity at this time to understand and heal is gone.  The next time same or similar wrong happens, it appears to be larger than before. The largeness of the wrong is directly proportional to the number of times and how long the wrong(s) have not been worked on. Earlier compensation, by this time, is not valid and not enough. Compensation now also becomes a blackmail.

The only way to get out of this web of blackmail for either side, one which has done wrong or the one that has been wronged, is by FORGIVENESS.

Forgiveness comes from understanding ‘what is the wrong.’ Sometimes it may not even be a wrong. Sometimes it’s just a misunderstanding.

However, when it is the wrong you could consider to forgive. You need not agree or like or even have the wrong in your space any longer. You could stop giving it attention. You could shift your focus to anything else.

If/when forgiveness follows the wrong. It replaces the wrong. Forgiveness creates the new space to ‘receiving’ wonderful specifics decided by the receiver or to non-specifics like the receiver’s highest and greatest good. What is received after the forgiveness is a gift!

Receiving as GIFT.

Technically and ideally gift is a surprise, fun, free, extra, more. The gift is beautiful. The gift is a blessing.

Receiving and giving a gift is a form of giving and receiving APPROVAL.

Willingness to forgive itself is the greatest gift.  Anything else you receive is a bonus gift.

The essence of receiving the Gift inspires to give. Give yourself the gift of wisdom to understand the wrong and forgive, to have peaceful life experiences.

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

THE LEARNING IS COMPLETE, when?

When Do You Know That ‘THE LEARNING IS COMPLETE’?

the learning is complete, WHEN

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/06/20/the-learning-is-complete-when/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!
Understanding Life’s LEARNING. When do you really know that THE LEARNING IS COMPLETE?
Life’s learning comes from people, person and/or situation. It involves characteristics, attributes, behaviors, incidents, interactions. These come as a one-time occurrence or in a recurring manner.
The ones that are hard hitting get the attention. When these, attention-grabbing ones are recurring then there is no ignoring them.
These life’s learning helps you grow. When you get more accepting and stop resisting the changes in your life, the way these learning come in your life start to ease off.
Be willing to move on, every chance you get. Don’t get entrapped in past with the emotional attachments. You don’t miss out on anything.
Learning don’t leave you unless you have ‘learned.’
What Happened? What is happening in your life, that needs to be explained and needs to be understood!
#When you are ditched or abandoned. When you see yourself as ‘alone’.
#When love, respect, and kind actions are not reciprocated.
#When you don’t get what you want.
#When there is a delay.
#When there is a person or thing whose presence bothers you.
#Receiving what you are not asking.
#Going back and forth in your learning. Doing what you don’t agree with yourself, in doing.
What to learn from what is happening in your life?
#You can do this on your own. You have the power and you need to realise that now.
#The contribution of the former significant person/thing/place is over and/or done, in your space.
#Focus on self-love. Notice where have you been ignoring yourself. Do things for yourself, because ‘you exist’, you need not look for external factors.
#Re-assess your asking. Be clear in asking. Get clear in what you want. Ask what aligns with your true self.
#Increase in trust. Move from specificity in asking to ‘asking’ for your greatest and highest good.
#The attribute of the person/thing bothering you is a part of your characteristics that has been bothering you. Embrace it or be ready to change it.
#De-clutter, allow new to enter your space.
#Stop procrastination, get out of your comfort zone. You are safe.
How to know that THE LEARNING IS COMPLETE?
#When you get it!
#When you don’t feel like giving energy to it. This means when you stop reacting to it. You don’t consciously think about it.
#When people, attribute, characteristics, situation CHANGE.
 
An important point to note is that manifestation and learning are mutually exclusive. Manifestation occurs after the learning is complete. However, learning do not end after the manifestation happens.
The summation of all learning is, gain clarity and trust that you deserve your greatest and highest good. This helps you see life incidents and interactions as life experiences. Learn and move on to the next phase to the next learning.
Best wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife.com