Sweeping Under The Rug.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” “Can we not do this now.” “There is nothing to talk about.” “I am FINE. I said ‘I am F I N E.’”
You block someone. You don’t take someone’s call(s) or reply to their message(s). While in conversation you avoid talking about a topic or you change the topic.
Acting or pretending that ‘it’ does not need to be addressed, expressing verbally or by a gesture. The purpose of ‘addressing’ is to delayer, clarify or stand up to a topic/situation/incident that requires the attention at that point. You may choose to ‘not address’, even though it is clear to you that you need to solve something here. Then there are also situations when you don’t realise that something needs to be solved here.
Why do you “Sweeping Under The Rug?”
$ You don’t know how to address it. What to say? How to say? Why to solve this?
$ You are finding it too difficult to solve this.
$ You are embarrassed. You see yourself as unsupported. You don’t know whom to ask for help. You don’t know whom to ask for help.
$ By addressing it you don’t want to open unknown ‘can of worms’ i.e. previously unaddressed and therefore unresolved issues, that you will have to deal with.
$ You very well know that there are going to be another ‘can of worms’, that will open and that will require your time and energy.
When is it ‘ok’ to be “Sweeping Under The Rug” temporarily?
$ When you are shifting a conversation to later, and mindfully bringing it up to solve it.
$ By all means, you really could do that when the energy level is low. You can revisit it when you have good energy for getting your information through.
Why “Sweeping Under The Rug”, is not a good idea?
When something is not solved, the learning remains unlearnt. The same/similar life situations keep coming back. When not solved. These life situations come in your space with a higher intensity. You get hurt by such situations easily. You find it more and more difficult to deal with the situation. You see yourself over reacting at incidents and at hindsight these incidents might look small or silly to you and you attract blame for that. Situations get more unclear and uncertain and as a result, you start to fear facing future and you get more cautious and limiting in your behavior.
Situations happen. Address it. Don’t address it. Deal with it. Don’t deal with it. The only thing you mandatorily do is you acknowledge it in real light. What it means is, you see the issue, see your resources you have and you require then decide you want to solve it with others immediately or at a more conducive time. Whenever you decide to work on it, the important action is you derive the learning.
This applies when other people are involved or you are dealing with your own self.
“Sweeping Under The Rug” never works with self. With self you HAVE TO solve it. With self you HAVE TO finish your learning.
Even when you have resource crunch including motivation and courage to work on it with others, you can take help and support with/from self and solve it and gain the learning.
Only good comes out of it when you address and solve, ‘what was being swept under the rug’, with self.
Solve it to make more space in your life. Live a carefree life. Keep yourself open to new experiences without fear of something unresolved creeping out and interfering with your present.
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034