It’s not lying. It’s AFFIRMING.
As you were growing up you were taught, not to lie. Just the truth. Say exactly as it is. You must be teaching your younger ones the same thing.
There are underlying instructions with an appendage of fear of punishment, corporal or something unknown, but bad that has been ingrained into you about lying. Therefore there is a big no-no in your life for lying, deceiving, cheating, being untruthful, insincere and/or dishonest. It is frowned upon socially and even considered illegal. Lying dilutes trust. Thus, it becomes life rule that you don’t lie.
Along with this, there is yet another life rule that is also being parallelly administered in you and that is, you do not share unsuccessful/tragic parts of your life. This is mainly because you are told that you are not or cannot be proud of it, as it reflected that you have not been able to take care of your life. So you learned the skill of hiding that.
Yet another life rule that is added to the list of rules for you to follow is that you are also taught not to openly share of your life’s accomplishments and/or proud moments. As this would reflect that you are a snob and no one likes a brag.
Wow! all these life rules. As a result of all these conflicting rules, you start dialing down sharing or talking. Not discussing your achievements in your space, misquoting problem areas, even highlighting the blame to outside factors to take everyone’s attention away from your rich experience. As a result, you start to practice selling your accomplishments short. You are comfortable discussing people, things, situations that are not working for you, as it is considered as a norm and even came with a sympathetic ear or a suggestion.
What emerges out of this cocktail of ‘do this but not this’ is set of words that do not get you the impression of the life that you want.
Saying, discussing, announcing or speaking of nice events, experiences, material things, achievements, and accomplishments, does not make you pompous. You could allow yourself to be proud of them.
Life is always a mixture of something that is working along with some others that evidently seem to be not working. Whether you wish to share information about what is going on in your life is your discretion.
You could be a sharing kind, or you could be ‘a people person’ and you thrive on people interaction, or you have to under certain conditions you just have to share your information.
Share about what is working else affirm.
Affirmation is all the words that you say or think. Say words that are working for you or the way you wish for it to work for you. Give the sentences a spin that will give you hope, increase your faith and raise your vibration. That is all you need to affirm and manifest with a snap of a finger. So next time you attract a question in your space for which you are not sure or not clear what to say, hesitant or not interested in sharing or too sad to share, then just affirm. Even to the follow-up question and the cross-question stay true to what you want to say. You could start with say ‘I am affirming.’
Sometimes what you want to say is the brutal, hurtful, painful fact rather than affirm. Then do that with/while ‘tapping.’ This is necessary to release the stress. Once the stress is released, affirming is then a possibility.
Also, while talking to your therapist you could clearly tell them what you notice, observe, see or even presume that could be happening.
Many times affirmation does not appear real and you don’t agree with saying it. Here too EFT/tapping is necessary. You can decide on a time and affirm while tapping. This can be done till the faith is gained or restored in the affirmation.
Your words are important in creating your next moment. So choose them wisely. Use words that are of your greatest and highest good.
It’s the truth, it’s an affirmation.
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034