Monthly Archives: August 2017

because you care

The World does not depend on the people who are ignoring and not caring.

The world resides on pillars of people who care, are paying attention, and contribute.

because you care

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/08/31/because-you-care/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

Things get done because you do them and/or you get them done. Along with you, the other people who are involved are the ones who care, contribute and support in getting it done.

The World does not depend on people who are ignoring. The world is thriving because of people who are paying attention.

Things don’t get done because of shunning and not caring and/or because of the non-contributors. Regardless of how large the number of the nay sayers or how high the decibel of their voice is, that screams and complains that there is no care, the world survives because of the ones that do care and contribute.

Care in any way you can. Other care givers also give the care in any way they can. The care that contributes and helps you in your life will be the one that will be noticed by you. Similarly, care that contributes and helps in others life is noticeable by them.

Care for you is a dependency. There is stringency in the source and in the type of the dependency.

To care first, you need to care about you.

The reason you are not able to care and/or show that you care is because:

(a) You are not giving yourself enough freedom to communicate. You are hesitant in expressing what you need, what you are grateful for, thus creating miscommunication.  (b) You do not care enough about yourself. You are waiting to be that perfect self to start caring about yourself.

 

Once you see yourself as perfect or enough, you become comfortable accepting care and then you see the dependency in a different light. You will now see your dependencies in its true form and that is co-dependencies.

You have already been caring. You have been caring enough.

Have faith in your caring actions. You need not bank on the approval from others. You shift the responsibility of care when you do not see it as your achievement, mainly because you do not receive returns. Credit, appreciation, acknowledgment, networking/marketing, energy exchange, and/or happiness are the form of return that you wait for as a go ahead gesture.  Pending which you get dissuaded.

Your abilities and your instincts call for you to take action and take responsibility. So you start your care actions and take care related responsibilities. Due to lack of response or reciprocation in any form of return you anticipated, you slow down, pause. Then you stop.

It happens. But the sooner you learn, grow and get started again the better it is for your self-expansion, exploration, and growth.

Connect with your dependencies. Which are the ones that are most bothersome to you? All your dependencies come from the relationships that you have. Relationships with people and thing(s). What is the kind of dependency is it that you want but you are unable to have in any of your relationships? Reassess your dependency and change the perspective to a co-dependency, with the added knowledge you have today, your skills you have today, your willingness you have today and with the life situations you are in today. Your inability to solve your issues related to dependancy is creating aversion towards dependencies and is questioning your capability to care.

If only you choose to give yourself option in dependencies instead of the compulsions that you attach to them, you will see more selections and choices in care from different sources that could be known or unknown. The moment you give yourself that, your enjoyment in care giving and enjoyment of recognising it as self-achievement begins.

Caring is no more attached to ‘return.’ Being able to care and being able to provide care itself becomes a return. Just have the willingness to care, other resources for you will come to you.

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Note: Thank you to dear Priyashree B K for the discussion.

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Stand by You

Fear is not of critism from outside, scolding, beating or their impression of you.

The actual fear is of self-abandonment.

Stand by You

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/08/30/stand-by-you/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

How to remove fear and everything that comes with fear from within? How to persuade that what has to done gets done under all conditions? How to remove the thoughts and notion that, on doing this, it might hurt, something might go wrong?

So here it is.

When in fear do it anyway. But please remember to stand by yourself.

Consider you with your little you, a mini you. Suppose you are taking up a task. Consider your mini you is taking up that task. Your ‘mini you’ shares with you ‘I am scared, I am very scared.’ You tell your ‘mini you’, ‘ do it, under all circumstances, I will stand by you, I will not let you down. I am on your side.’ For the smallest of the small task or the large tasks, if the reactions are not pleasant or rewarding then the only qualm you might have is that you did not perform right. Understand this, if due to some circumstance/reason/condition you do not give your optimum performance, become your own guardian and say this to yourself, ‘what you have done today, for me this is enough.’  Do not scold, self-criticize, or self-blame. Of course, you would change and enhance your performance, say it to yourself ‘of course we’ll and we can do better next time.’ Today if you have four steps, you will take eight next time. But to take the next eight steps, the earlier four steps were necessary.

The internal support is the only and ultimate support that you will ever need. Mistake can be according to you or it could be a version of others. Even if there is a mistake you give that support to yourself. ‘It is ok.’

Fear suggests you to hide. It keeps you from exploring. It is limiting. The best way to combat fear or let go fear is by learning the art of ‘customization of the truth.’ Stating the truth is on you, ‘how much and how are you able to tell or do’ and ‘how much is the other party able to take the truth.’

You want to learn swimming. What version of truth will help you achieve your action. How much are you willing to share with others, so that it does not intefer with your plans by attracting discouraging comments and keeps the motivation intact.

Suppose you break a vase, a beautiful crystal glass vase. How urgently do you need to share this information. Would you like to and do you have the willingness to to replace it. Are willing to make amends. Are you willing and ready to admit the part you played.

Know this ‘you are allowed to make mistakes.’ If your mistakes are big, irreparable and/or revealed before you get a chance to discuss, then share what you are ready and/or comfortable sharing. ‘You are also allowed to revisit your version of truth, if you decide to change it.’ Of all the people on this planet you need to convince only one person and that is yourself. Whatever version which is in agreement with your inner self that you can share. If you are certain that the mistake you have made is a big loss either for yourself and/or for your others, then share it with yourself anyway. What comes up in the self-conversation, do that. If that is fearsome, take the step, but stand by yourself. Accept your mistakes first with yourself.

Fear is not because of others. Fear is when there is disconnection with your own-self. You get scared because your mind comprehends that you will leave you. “Fear is not of critism from outside, scolding, beating or their impression of you. The actual fear is that of self abandonment.”

You are your first family. With your support and protection, no one can dare scare you. You can do, be, and have anything, when you are by your side. This is the kind of motivation you need to lead a life that is less limiting.

Apologising will become easy. One of the reasons one finds it difficult to apologise is because of the fear that it puts you at a lesser position as compared to others. Apologizing needs to be initially done to self. This is for putting yourself in that situation or for atracting this life experience.

Strengthen your self-alliance to keep exploring a life that is fear free.

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

You Can’t Quit, Please!

Why can’t you give up ?- Wednesday Why?

You Can't Give Up

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/08/29/you-cant-quit-please/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

People and experiences. Pain and joy. You have attracted them at the right time in your life for the right reason. Learning and change are the results. Some leave a more permanent mark than others. You are completely responsible for them. There could be mixed emotions admitting the whole responsibility. Accept to decide for yourself at a pace that is comfortable for you.

Avinash now a hair colorist came to the big city from a hill station right after he finished his high school. He had just lost his father, the only earning member of the family. He tagged along with some of his acquaintances while they were coming back to their jobs in the city after the break. Oblivious to the ways and language, he looked up to his friends with whom he was sharing the room to find a job. His first job was of an office boy. He had to clean three floors and keep them clean even while the customers and staff walked up and down the stairs. He fetch lunch for the office staff regardless of the distance of the restaurant and made and served them tea. All this he was doing for a meagre sum. The big part of his salary, he sent to his mother back home. In the evenings he used to sit in front of the office pavement and wonder about his future. In next few months, he moved to a new job in a restaurant. Similar situations but new skills and slightly higher salary. The next job he found was in a parlor taking care of arrangements before and after the service. Within three years of his arrival, he was training and doing the parlor service. Now it is four years and he is now a skilled hair colorist, earning a much better salary. He is yet to visit home but he is regularly taking care of his mother by sending money and making arrangements through his aunt for the necessary items. His present job provides him with further skill training.

Laxmi a married lady presently living as an Australian citizen. She lost both her parents while she was still studying. For some time after that, she was being sponsored by her sister. When the sister got married young Laxmi had to fend for herself. She moved into a small flat but was getting more and more worried about her future. She was losing all joy from her everyday living as she had to think of payments and future life growth. She kept looking for better jobs and kept her morale high by going to temples. She believed in the power of prayers. It was a day when out of sheer impulse she donated her last gold chain given to her by her mother, to the temple. Her own action left her numb as she had to decide what to do next. While coming back she met an Uncle who asked her to email her profile for marriage alliance. In that neutral mood, she typed the wrong email address and it reached a gentleman in Australia. The gentleman replied back saying that he was very much interested. Steps were taken and she had to spend a year in the US and then settled in Australia with her husband. The whole expense, guidance, and arrangement was sponsored by the then ‘would be husband.’

 

Both Avinash and Laxmi did not quit. Had Avinash left for home he would neither have experiences nor the growth that is benefitting him now. Had Laxmi given up, she would not have found her Man and future prosperity. People come in to provide support. Embracing the suggestion and help, and taking the follow-up step is up to you. Both Avinash and Laxmi took the action step.

What seems like a miracle is actually result from your action steps that you continuously have been taking. It gets visible when you are ready, willing, prepared or stop interfering.

Your life experiences are meant to build you up. They are there as a stepping stone and serve as the preparatory purpose for the next phase of your life. Give it your attention.

Let people be. Stop holding them responsible for your happiness. Channelize the questioning of your happiness towards yourself. Raise the power within by practice of focus within. When you shift the focus, energy, power, and responsibility of your happiness on others, it is then that you recuse yourself. Other people and external factors can only participate, co-create and contribute your life experience(s). You may or may not like the contributions and to the contributors, but be grateful to them.

You choose the next step. Choose the one that leads you to your happiness. Beyond that, the reactions or the counter actions are entirely your discretion. Quitting on behest of other or outside factors will not serve your purpose.

Caring about others is not a limiting. Just remember you need to care about your happiness too and first and more. Keep taking the next step.

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Show-off a little a lot

Do show-off a little sometimes and at other times do show-off a lot. Because everything about you is likable.

Show-Off.jpg

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/08/28/show-off-a-little-a-lot/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

Express, exhibit, show more of your skills, talents, attributes, ideas that you like or love. There are others who are always waiting to see and get inspired by them, just as you might be noticing others skills, talents, attributes, ideas to validate your present set or a motivation to move to the next level in life.

Recognising, approving, appreciating, acknowledging anything and everything in or about you is main. Hurdles like others impression of you, their opinion, their experiences, and their viewpoint sometimes either keeps you or limits you from it. This has a higher impact especially when the ‘others’ is someone you trust. Clearing these hurdles requires you to first and foremost admit that you have wonderful traits. The next step is to accept that you had some notion that you were proud of them even though it was in a clandestine manner. But the only reason you had not given them the ‘self’ status is because of outside factors.

Eliminating, diluting or dispersing these outside factors that so intently have influenced your deservability happens by identifying and distinguishing the influencers followed by forgiveness. This is both for self as well as for outside influencers. Forgiveness for self because you let yourself agree with them. Forgiveness for others because of what they did. For the forgiveness you may say the words or write them, ‘I am willing to forgive or I forgive you for (fill in the blanks)’. Self-forgiveness in front of your reflection is highly advised.

From here on it’s a smooth sail. All that you like about yourself, all that others have pointed out that they like in you, all that you find likable in others, surfaces fairly easily and is more striking than before. To openly show approval to these, you could start with some exercises. You give yourself a task of recognising three to four likable qualities in you in one day. Out of that one has to be an attribute, another one has to be an action, and one has to be what you like about yourself but would like to enhance or change in some way. Do write as many other point(s) as it comes to you. With time you will have to dig deep and have closer or magnifying look at your likable qualities. This suggests you to look at the places where either you have taken for granted or it is a characteristic you are very convinced that it needs complete rehauling. You delayer, dissect, and disassemble even these and separate the likable from the changeable. The database and the focus of the likables in you keeps getting bigger.

What happens when you appear for an interview? What do you reflect in your resume? What version of you do you present to your partner when you want to impress them in a relationship?

Your absolute best.

If you have been doing the above exercise and you will not need to prepare yourself. Your presence now exudes your absolute best. You need not put effort to bring it out, it’s now on the surface. Your absolute best now becomes your true identity.

Your awesome qualities and achievements get an easy mention. Talking about others admirable qualities are also now comfortable and easily detectable by you.

The best in you brings the best in all you do and in others. So why not share and allow the world to see the reflection of its best in you.

Everything about you is likeable and loveable, even things you wish to change or enhance.   Show it off all the time, because you are saying how much you appreciate yourself. If you do something nice you acknowledge. Like some part of you or whole of you, confidently and completely. Find reasons to appreciate yourself. Because you most definitely have a lot of what can be appreciated.

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

talk as per will

Basic principle in communication is ‘where you want to talk do not stop yourself’, ‘where you do not wish to talk, do not force yourself.’

talk as per will.jpg

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/08/27/talk-as-per-will/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

 

Dear Friend!

Have you been convincing yourself that you are better off being a loner? Are you doing that because communication or conversation has become an unknown phenomenon for you?

You see the flow in communication when there is no resistance or blockage for it.  Communication is an art and skill that requires to be developed with practice and knowledge. To develop this art you need to know and be clear about few things within/about you. Who are you answerable to and who are not answerable to. What are you interested in and what are you not interested in. Answers to these two contribute to your present form of communication. Who are you comfortable communicating and who seems overbearing for you to communicate. Be mindful that if your communication is an involuntary or forced action then you doing this will not promote or enhance your communication. Investigate it further, notice where your communication is easy and joyful. Where there are no blockages like anger or hesitation. Find out why is that. Is it informative and thus encouraging? Is this devoid of judgmental questions and so allows you feel confident and motivated to be a part of.

Do you switch off in group conversations? Do you find yourself at loss of topics to discuss? Then you could get clear about the fact that either you are not interested or you are not comfortable with the conversations that do not add to creativity. It only shows that you have a creative mind and you rather converse about what qualifies to contribute in that manner according to you.

Listening and answering a question is also a form of communication. When answering you could keep your answers short and share the information in the version of reality as you know it. If it is pointed to you that you are not being communicative, you could place the same questions back in their space or question or comment. ‘What do you mean?’, ‘Tell me what would you like me to say?’, ‘I suppose answering questions does meet the requirements. What say you?’

When you give yourself the permission to be clear on, ‘what to talk and who to talk’, it is then that you will know and thus be able to assess that what you needed to do for communication you have already done it. Now you need not be answerable to anyone else on this. You will know how to differentiate where you wish to communicate and where you are not interested in communicating, by way of your willingness. Where you see your interest and willingness, do not stop yourself. Your communication naivety has arisen due to you stopping yourself or you having been stopped by others. Because of this even if you don’t need to or you don’t desire to converse you accept the blame of not communicating. Second guessing yourself, ‘maybe I was supposed to say something?’ You could take solace from this important point that the ones who are conversing and who you are admiring as good at conversation are either repeating the question or asking a question that is getting them answers that benefit them. This kind allowing when you do will create an openness that can support you in communicating with closest of the relationship and farthest of the association.

If you are at the stage where communication is at level zero and/or uninitiated. Then none of the above pointers would be ringing a bell. Start from the very beginning. Start the communication with self. Go to the mirror decide on the minimum time that you can spend looking into your eyes and have a conversation with yourself. It could be general greetings to just deciding to breathe with your reflection, while the thoughts flow. Do this regularly. Gradually increase the timing and points to discuss. Listening to the thoughts is the main part of this communication exercise.

While you are developing your communication skills, you could use visualisation, where you create an experience of you having a conversation with a particular person or group.

Set an intention before every conversation as you see fit. Do you want fun, sincere, informative.

Only you can decide. When, whether, how, how much, what and with whom to communicate. There are no barriers neither language nor knowledge. No one is ignoring you. Be present and listen. The information from here will be mutually beneficial to all involved. Don’t feel rejected, start accepting yourself first.

 

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

in awe and admiration of YOU

‘If you were not that scared of your own magnificence, You would be looking at yourself in awe and admiration.’

in awe and admiration of YOU

IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/08/23/in-awe-and-admiration-of-you/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!

The internal deservability always stands guard at the check post from where the self-acceptance, self-approval, and self-admiration are to enter. Ironically your ‘internal’ deservability is mainly influenced by the external factors. The opinion of others, the experiences of others, the impression of others, the imposition of others. This form of the deservability is an illusionary one. They are always lower than your true deservability. That is because of the layers of conditional and thus limiting filters, which increases the difficulty level to reach the higher level of deservability. Even though your inner self knows to assay and differentiate the real level of deservability determined and decided by your Higher Self and Source from the deceptive level of deservability, you still have been manifesting based on the untrue levels of deservability. That is because it is a quick method. But it is a non-beneficial one.

Fear is the biggest blockage in recognising your true levels of deservability. Fear is of acknowledging your ‘power and responsibility’. With great power comes great responsibility.

Once you recognise your true power you have the exclusive responsibility of utilising your creativity in expanding and exploring your contribution in living your higher life. There is no scope of the blame. Any chance of slacking due to dependency on others is not there anymore. Your only choice is to mind your own reins.

You living your higher life contributes to the planet and to the creatures living on it. This is an unknown extent and is outside your comfort zone so there sometimes is a confusion between excitement and fear.

If you are willing to let go this quick and shortcut method of living your life based on lower levels of deservability, you will let go the fear that is keeping you from seeing and enjoying your own true magnificence. Once you are able to see your brilliance and greatness, you will be exploring how high does living with these characteristics take you. What more can you get done? How much can you get clarity about your life and about your presence on this planet?

Let’s delayer this further. You as a human are a magnificent creature. If it’s not visible to you yet, then the only reason for that is because you are too scared of your own internal conversations, mainly because it consists of criticisms and rejections. Once you decide to stop that and replace that with vibration boosting conversations, it is then that you start to notice all the amazing, wonderful qualities about you.

The similar thing happens when you see others succeed. You go through self-pity, hurt, lack of faith due to your understanding of lack of accomplishment. That instigates you to see others getting an unfair advantage. If only you are willing to let go jealousy, resentment, judgment, about the others, you will then see their achievement and your power of observation. These qualities you could be admiring and/or imbibing plus adding to your already grandeur qualities. The self-inflicted comparison and constant ‘not catching up’ or ‘not up to the mark’ self-conversation is keeping you from actually getting closer and expressing the joy of appreciating and approving the potentials that you would love to explore and know more about. You then use it to your advantage of fulfilling your goals.

As you let go fear, you have the courage to a get clearer and magnified look of the ‘creative features and excellences’. What you grasp and if need be, use for your benefit is the key to not having to reinvent the wheel, and still, have the best upward movement in life.

Note: The Brahminy Kites picture is original photography by Vaibhav Mupadi 9591943210

The genesis of the request for a picture. “I was walking on my terrace after the day’s work. I noticed some eagles, the urban ones, flying over my area repeatedly. After getting over the initial ducking I realised that they looked beautiful with amazing features. This is exactly the case with self. Ones we stop getting scared of our own selves, we would get to admire ourselves of our own magnificence and greatness. There could be initial hesitation but you will agree, once you check in the mirror. So when I created the post, I decided to use a Brahminy Kite’s picture.’

 

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Why review your manifestations

Why review your manifestations? -Wednesday Why?

 

why review your manifestations

IADLife Blog:https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/08/22/why-review-your-manifestations/

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

Case Study is about Mrs. Rashmi Praveen, Texas Dallas.

Dear Friend!

Rashmi is my ex-colleague, This was 5 years prior to IADLife. Her workstation was right opposite mine. My impression of her was that she was multi-tasking with good efficiency and was (if I can say mildly) very modest about what she was doing. To me, her job profile looked like a very important and pivotal aspect of the company responsibility that needed to be done for the group and for the company.

Other than work discussions with Rashmi I use to have intelligent conversations with her that had clarity and information, even when she was talking about life at the home front. She was friendly to very few people and looked sad sometimes. It bothered me to see her not stand up for herself in spite of doing a lot of hard and smart work. She had some people in the department tell her that ‘she was not confident’ and ‘she could do better.’

Now that I am in IADLife and am a Life Coach, I realise that I was actually getting bothered by the reflection of my situation that I saw in her situation. Not satisfied that I am doing enough. The constant self-critism was attracting bad office relations, appreciations slipping through the cracks, paper publishing getting stuck, not clear on the direction.

One incident which I believe changed her life and steered my life towards life coaching was, when she was being bullied by less contributing colleagues about the work that she was to present. As soon as they left, she came and sat on the chair next to me and said ‘Reena, I am confident’. I turned my head from my computer screen, nodded in agreement. I looked right into her eyes and said ‘you are confident.’ Her eyes welled up and she ran towards the office wash room. Later that day I invited her to tea from the tea joint just outside our office.

Since then whenever she had an office situation we discussed at the office terrace or during walks at lunch time or at tea breaks. I too mentioned to her about what was going on with me in the office. I started giving her affirmation, advice, and suggestions.

She took my advice added her knowledge and started to take action steps. Parallelly, I was taking some action steps to change my office situations too.

The next major turning point for her when her husband got a job transfer to US and he was denied visa. I told her if she really wants to go then she could start finishing her pending work here. Within months her husband got the visa to US.

My professional life had a good change, including my reporting.

I remember becoming friends with each other. We also sneaked out to watch a vampire movie.

Since then both of us moved on. I founded IADLife and she moved to US. We have been in touch through chat, email and a phone call. I have seen her life change in last few years. This has thrilled me. Her achievements and changes include fulfilling her research aspirations, her singing aspirations, gaining confidence in driving, gaining confidence to share her creative art with the external world, willingness to change as a mother, giving birth to a baby girl and now buying a new home.

All this has intrigued me to ask her ‘What are you doing right?’ She says ‘Have to pinch myself to realise the moment.’ ‘ I never actually dreamed of all this, but I did dream of being happy and content.’

I asked her if she repeat this often or did she see herself being this.

Rashmi says ‘Yes I made deliberate attempts to keep myself happy.’

So friends review your manifestations. The whole idea of manifestation of your desire is that it gives you an understanding of accomplishment and makes you happy. Therefore your desire vibration needs to align with the happiness vibration. If your thoughts about your desires slip into lack thoughts, these cause vibrations that do not align with vibrations of happiness.

So do the reverse process. Choose to do what makes you happy, but be mindful of being clear on what truly makes you happy. Doing what initially appears to make you happy, but if it is followed by guilt, then that is not true happiness. Accept the guilt and see where the true happiness lies.

List what makes you happy. Do them. If there are any low vibrational feelings that surface instead. Journal them. The most crucial step is to differentiate the resistance, blockage, self-sabotage with the unhappiness. Inspect what would have given you happiness in its place. That is what gives you true happiness. Create a new list and call them ‘these give me true happiness and contentment.’

Keep adding in this list and keep doing them.

Best wishes

Reena Yadav, IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034

IADLife.com

http://www.facebook.com/IADLife