Why do others opinion matter? – Wednesday Why?
Why does it hurt when others say hurtful things? Why do others opinion matter more?
Because you are looking for approval from outside. Lack of self-belief. Connection with self and Source is less. Conversation and understanding of the messages from self and Source less.
What others say or a hearsay about you is actually a reflection of your thoughts. It is the comment, feedback or opinion of yours that has been repeated in your mind many times over. That is why it is so striking. It is well known to you. It gets your attention immediately.
It really has very little or nothing to do with that person.
The thoughts and opinions that you have get translated in the vibration that you hold at the moment when you get to hear it. For example, if your thoughts have been about ‘questioning your achievement’.
You could be in low vibration because of your own life situations. You start to have all the people, situations and experiences that replicate that low vibration. This may lower the vibration. In that low vibration, you will have opinions, feedback, comments, all of which that will suggest that you ‘really are low in achievement’, ‘your efforts are not enough to show your achievements’, ‘you have not achieved anything.’ Every comment here is entirely untrue. You still choose to believe it because you are convinced by the thoughts regarding your ‘achievement’ or lack of it.
You could choose to raise your vibration by taking care of self. Do actions and think thoughts that make you happy. Once you have raised your vibration you will attract or have all the people, situations and experiences that replicate that high vibration. This may raise the vibration. In that low vibration, you will have opinions, feedback, comments, all of which that will suggest that you ‘are doing enough, and your achievements are really visible’, ‘you are achieved’, ‘you have potential to still achieve more.’ Your achievements will be highlighted and the one that was hidden and not counted will be pointed out. You will start to realise and appreciate your achievements.
So basically what you think of yourself and in the vibration that you think of it is how it will be brought to you in your space. The way you are using the words which are a description about your understanding of what is your life situation actually becomes your AFFIRMATION. If you are unaware that you are self-criticizing and self-blaming, it will come in your awareness through some external source. This will get your attention.
Remember you are judging yourself just as you are judging others. So when you are unsure or unaware of what you are thinking about yourself in a certain area of your life, then just take your attention towards your thinking about a certain other person or others in that area. What are you judging them on? What part of their deservability are you making conditional? Low and behold you have the same thinking, same conditions imposed by you on your deservability in that area.
Then there is a childhood programming of giving attention to others. This translates into giving value to others doing and/or saying.
When you channelise giving the value to yourself as a priority and make it a practice, then you will be hearing yourself even before you get to hear from others and you rectify your words and vibration. As you know that the combination of the words and vibration influences your manifestations.
Your opinion is important. Opinions of some others are also important.
Choose a set of people whom you are willing to give approval, converse, discuss with. They have to be set of people whose opinion you value and those of whom you trust. When you like or find their opinion useful or beneficial, be mindful of having your appreciation known to them. When you don’t like it then too articulately, respectfully, if possible politely have them know of this too.
Many times with the thousands of thoughts that are emerging, residing and revisiting your mind, you inadvertently say or think what you did not intend to about yourself. Here your ‘others’ you like and trust will be your guard or filter.
Get clear in your words with yourself, Source and the valued others. Use only those words that raise your vibration, for self and for non-self.
Reena Yadav, IADLife
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