Why deprive yourself?-Wednesday Why?
IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/11/14/why-deprive-yourself/
Q: Why deprive yourself?
Why do you stop yourself from getting all good things in your life?
Question from Priyashree B. K.
‘Zi’ was excited and just the first appearance of all the stalls and products on display was filling her with joy. ‘Zi’ had been looking forward to going the exhibition as her colleague had created such an impression about it. She was intently listening to her colleague as she was describing and discussing it in the group. Her interest grew as she heard about all the exhibits as they were all related to fashion and she was keen to experience the joy of acquiring them. She was finally at the exhibition. She browsed through the items in the first kiosk and smiled wilfully at the attendant. After passing through few more stalls she arrived at her favourite jewelry stall. Her first look at the exotic oxidised silver range gave her a vibe of homecoming. She finally felt that she belonged. She tried the first set of earrings she chose from the display. As she admired herself in the mirror the shopkeeper showered her with praises and kept giving his advice on how it is a necessary purchase for her as the piece looked as if it was made for her face. Convinced by what she saw in the mirror and flattered by the additional approval she asked for the price. The moment she heard the price information she felt a sensation of lumpy/heaviness in the area in between her throat chakra and heart chakra. She twisted her lips towards one side while she pretended to look at the other collection. What she was actually doing is going through a series of self-conversations. ‘Where are you planning to wear it’, ‘Do you really deserve to spend so much on yourself’, ‘There is so much pending for you do, first finish that’, ‘You can very well do without it’.
All these self-conversations dampened her enthusiasm and in a low voice, she made an excuse to visit other shops. As she passed the garments, home furnishing, accessories and home embellishment shops she barely gave them a cursory look.
Why was ‘Zi’ stopping herself from getting all desirable things in her life?
Do you do that to yourself? Postpone pleasure! Don’t see yourself prepared or ready enough to receive. This could be translated into, don’t see yourself deserving enough to receive. To understand this in the most simple terms. You don’t see yourself qualified enough to receive. Because you cannot give yourself permission to receive without having worked for it which comes back to cannot receive unless you have done enough.
Best way to access this is to see how you are fairing in your professional and/or personal life. Are you getting a good evaluation? Are you getting approval easily? It is a certain no. What is the satisfaction level in your life in any area? Do you see yourself doing enough? Do you do your schedule on time or are they end moment rush ups, delays, and procrastination? Your answer to these questions will start the analysis that will support in understanding why do you deprive yourself or why do you allow yourself to receive with great difficulty and/or after going past your resistance and blockages. If you are dissatisfied in your life in what you are doing and what people are doing in your life, if you never see yourself getting to a task beforehand or barely on time then you need healing in your receiving. The Genesis of difficulty in receiving happens much early on. Fish out your earliest memory of you having to strive for approval from someone you trusted. That approval came with conditions and words. Both of which have travelled with you in the form of memory with every ‘receiving’ in your life. Before long it gets integrated into your life and more self-imposed conditions and harsher words add-on in your mind and behaviour. These become your blockage to receive.
Today from this moment on be willing to know that you deserve to receive all good that the Universe has to offer. Be ready to receive. Only you can decide your affordability. You do not confuse a negotiable situation and accept it as a direct rejection. Be on your side and your choice. If you like something and it seems to be beyond your budgeted deservability, then take two steps, (a) be willing to be clear that it has nothing to do with your deservability as your deservability is optimum and (b) be willing to bargain. Either way, you are a winner. Everyone in your space is a winner as they are contributing to your life to receive.
‘Zi’ needed to breathe in the situation when she heard a high price for her desired product, she could have given herself time to decide her best counter negotiative fun statement. After that attempt, she needed to decide on her purchase based on her being convinced rather than allowing her past limiting nudging to surface as fear-based instructions that cajoles her to give up.
Learn from the past and be kind and respectable towards yourself from now on. Your desires are important. Acquiring them has to be your decision. You have the right to change your mind regarding your desire. You can say no, where you find the investment to be unreasonable according to you. And you will still receive and with love.
Reena Yadav, IADLife
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