EGO demystified. EGO is the outer layer or shell of superiority, where you have the upper hand. When insulted while you saw yourself in superior place or position, its being is evident in anger behavior reactions.
IADLife Blog: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/11/19/ego-demystified
Ego a three letter word with two syllables. It is best understood by feeling it. It’s existence becomes omnipresent in the effect that it shows in situations. The definition and understanding of ego gives clarity to many uneasy, unresolved, unexplained low vibration reactions and actions based on ‘limiting’ thinking.
Thinking that is limiting in nature and results in lesser action and non-satisfactory results.
EGO is the outer layer or shell of superiority, where you have the upper hand. Its being is evident in anger behavior reactions when insulted while you saw yourself in superior place or position.
Effect of ego may be disrespect, which comes from rejection. The rejection to recognise your superiority.
When you see yourself in a superior position you have the comfort to get your work done your way. This involves you and other people with their own ideas, choices, opinion, and willingness. When that superiority is challenged or not considered. The shell is punctured. Then, that suddenly plunges you into a state that is unexpected. You are forced to feel feelings of helplessness. This means you are being pushed to be inferior to whom you have seen as inferior. You have not admired the ones in that place or position. Thus, suddenly unwillingly finding yourself in that place or position, is not a pleasant feeling.
Case study: ‘E’ asked his subordinate ‘Y’, to come in on a holiday to assist her in a project where he thought he could use her help. ‘Y’ shifted the conversation as blame. ‘Y’ mentioned that she was not informed and she was waiting for him to inform her of this earlier. ‘E’ clarified and asked her to come in any way, ‘Y’ curtly demanded to know, what exactly she was supposed to do when she gets there.
‘E’ saw himself lose the footing on the chain of command. So he withdrew his asking and suggested she directly come in after the holiday. Well, that was ‘E’s reaction superficially. Sure. But actually ‘E’ was angry as he was suddenly in a place where, (i) his demands were not met, (ii) was forced to comply, (iii) was feeling the feelings when insulted, (iv) had increased responsibility in his space, (v) work was not done.
‘E’ recalled similar serial emotions surfacing when he bought his house and the builder who had promised to support but suddenly went AWOL.
In all, he again found himself in a lesser position. A place from where he could make no demands and getting his work done will require extra efforts.
Anger in these situations is expressed vociferously, with physical gestures or self-muttering. Sometimes it is subdued anger that is recognised as flared nostrils and constricted breathing as the only characteristics. This is very limiting in nature. It stops from your usual action. This can be irritating, frustrating and/or suffocating. This can force you to take actions which you will justify and/or have guilt for.
That behaviour does not solve ‘E’s situation. But the moment ‘E’ would understand this battery of emotions he would be able to truly get comfortable with them and stand by the actions suggested next. Else, the lack of understanding shifts the attention and focus to an external factor in the form of blame and the actual action remains unattended. You don’t get the action that needs to be taken next.
So what next? After understanding ego what can be done next? Once ego is de-layered and clearly understood (a) letting go what does not work is recognisable and then can be done easily or is doable, (b) it calms you, (c) you are able to be receptive to action steps suggested as ‘what next’, (d) work gets done, (e) presence of those external factors that could have bothered you earlier does not do so now.
The concentration is only on getting your work done. This is life enhancement and prosperity. You do not get angry now and you don’t get confused about your respect getting attacked. You resolve a situation rationally and don’t give up. You don’t work with a compulsion that the other person needs to accept you as a winner. Now you want to win because you can make everyone and everything involved a winner. Work gets done, and there are no remnants of low vibration emotions pending to be dealt with.
In ego situation i.e. situation where ego is evident or characteristics of ego is evident.
(a) Negotiate politely or in a manner that is respectable to you. (b) You don’t need to underplay, dodge, delay, forcefully ignore or go silent on a situation. (c) Focus and value has to be for the task at hand.
Remember, (1) The only remnant of the ego-based reaction is anger. (2) You are not responsible for or you don’t need to deal with other’s ego. (3) Your responsibility is to delayer your own ego only. (4) Do not make anger based decisions. Do not do anger based actions. Do not let anger dictate terms. (5)Apply forgiveness, be a perfect manager and get your work done.
Most importantly, apologise where you need to, forgive where you can, let go where the learning is complete.
Very interestingly you may face this situation with yourself too when your inner voice does not agree with your conscious thoughts.
Your rational mind is worth much more than making anyone realise their wrong. Choose life situations of yours or others. Delayer and demystify ego. See miracles happen.
Reena Yadav, IADLife
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