Why do people go silent on you? -Wednesday Why?
IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2017/12/26/why-do-people-go-silent-on-you
When the hurt occurs, you shut down. You get into a shell. The formation of this behavior was due to your past repetitive experiences. One where you were not allowed to speak, defend or react with gestures when addressed, accused, and/or scolded. And the other where your actions that were judged as mistakes were reciprocated with snubbing, cutting off, ignoring, cold-shouldering, rebuffing. All in all incommunicado and outcaste. So what registers is you not being able to stand up for yourself or what wish to convey, because of lack of practice. This reflects as your characteristic both when and where you had to make a point when questioned and/or when you see yourself being wronged. When you are in the eye of the storm you don’t battle it, instead, you rather wait it out. After the incident, you self-practice either reliving the situation hypothetically trying out various permutation combinations of your stance. You also secretly promise yourself that when this incident happens again you will say this/that or show gestures this way/that way. You thus end up attracting a similar situation again or a persistent hurtful situation resurfaces. Another thing that is similar is your inability to respond as per your deciding. Many of such experiences result in subconscious programming of this/these reaction(s). You react with silent treatment or with unexpected outbursts when you are offended or where there is an offense according to you. You receive silent treatment in situations, events or incidents where you are in desperate need of communication.
A behavior of low decibel insulting comment(s) in midst of a conversation or argument is also part of silent treatment syndrome.
Just because you have done this with others, the Universe is not trying to get back at you nor is it Karma trying to form a balance. It is the remnant of the pattern that you are attracting because you wish to change that behavior in your space and heal. It is also Universe’s way to bring to your attention that your communication needs to get better in articulation, politeness, and transparency.
Healing is not just about realisation. That, in fact, is the first step. A big achievement. However, healing is complete with this next step that is finding a solution and implementing it.
So how to stop these silent treatments. Lack of communication is neither healthy for you nor is it so for the other person.
(i) Do not keep any hidden agendas. Do not postpone solving the matter. Be clear with yourself. When you wish to express, constructively express. This will leave no space for doubt. (ii) Get better in your communication. The best person to improve or enhance your communication is with yourself. You can stand in front of your mirror and talk to yourself. Give yourself the respect. Greet when you meet and say goodbye when the conversation is done. Address what seems incomplete. Take more than one sittings but be willing to complete. You will know when it is complete when the issue does not bother you anymore. (iii) Let go the need to address a situation with another person when there is lack of respect, safety or in a dispensable relationship. Taking the learning from them is best suited here. Keep your energy not to quit only for the indispensable relationships. Here you take the initiative. Be open to receiving the other person/people when approached regardless of the relationship category. (iv) When you imagine and visualize, let it be the best communication. Ask for an interaction beyond that. (v) Genuinely wish well for all.
Believe you me, my dear friend this will require practice.
Combine your practice with self and if you comfortable with others, with tapping or EFT.
You following actions can help in implementing the solutions further.
(a) A guided meditation to let go your guilt, your inability to speak up or to speak right and the fear of rejection.
(b) Affirm, ‘all my conversation and communications are with love, joy, and grace.’ ‘I enjoy conversing and communicating.’ ‘I communicate and converse with ease.’ ‘It is a pleasure being approached. I feel safe and divinely protected at all times.’
You deserve to be communicated and to communicate.
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