Author Archives: IADLife

Honking is good?

Honking is good?

Honking is good?

#gratitude #messages #honkingisgood #run #staysafe #takeaction
#lifecoaching #counselling #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

I was driving on a very busy road in the middle of one afternoon. I had decided to get back home sooner for some xyz reasons. The traffic was moving really slow. I was the right-side lane. When I am in traffic I either read affirmations, do tapping or change channels to hear music on the car radio.
After I got a channel with music I liked at that time, I started looking at other vehicles. In the same line, in the extreme left lane was a man who was dozing at the wheel. I saw his vehicle was slowly moving towards the two-wheelers right in front.

I honked. I saw him wake up. He applied brakes immediately. He looked in front, the traffic wasn’t moving. He put both his hands on the steering wheel. In the next few seconds, I saw his eyes started to close and head started to droop down. I honked again and this time for longer and more number of times. I gestured with my hand to the traffic around that all is well.

This time he woke up for good and it was a green signal and traffic started moving.

People do attention-seeking action in front of you. It could be irritating, frustrating, or hurtful. Of course, that is because it is inexplicably and at some level pushing your buttons to sensitive issues from your life. It is nagging/bother. Mainly because it brings to your attention of the situations that need your attention and your resolution. It is always in your favour. But, the person and the way it has been bought to you is mind-bogglingly bothersome. This brings up resistance, which keeps you from the noticing the message there.

You could choose to go past this and either take it as advice and take action. Else,  review what is in your own space and stand by it stronger. It is a choice.

I have always said that if something seems life-threatening and makes you feel insecure, run. You don’t need to wait to understand the message there.

Remember this, they are not always right. The message is not always exactly what is being said or done.  For example, if someone tells you, ‘maybe your path is not right.’ That could also mean that you need to take look at all that you are doing, let go self-doubt, hold enough gratitude for what you are doing, reaccess your confidence, and buckle up and continue. The message could be to ‘be clear and confident about your path.’

Reena Yadav. IADLife.


Intermittent happiness

Intermittent happiness


You will notice that you affirm, say or ask to be happy all throughout.
But consciously and sub-consciously you choose not to be happy all the time.
You think being alert is being strict. Being strict is not being happy. So being alert is not a happy state.
Let’s see some examples (A) I once saw four teenagers crossing the road and they were jolly, very engrossed in having fun chat that was quite evident from their body language. Just as they started to cross the road, they held each other’s hands and continued their smiles, laughs, and chit-chat. It seemed that they were completely oblivious to the red signal turning green. The vehicles started to move forward and then had to apply breaks suddenly to let them go because they did not seem to be stopping. Some drivers showed their hand gestures as they moved as a show of anger reprimanding them. As soon as the jaywalking friends realised that they were in the middle of the road they held each other’s hand tighter and increased their pace. They were not smiling or laughing or even chit-chatting any more.
(B) ‘H’ went shopping and was in a happy mood as everything was going right since morning. ‘H’ smiled at himself, purchases were of good quality and had wonderful interactions. ‘H’ came back home and saw the list of ‘to-do’ list on the table. Mood dropped. ‘H’ checked the list and noticed that he had forgotten some jobs from the list. ‘H’ was not happy anymore.
(C) ‘R’ was on a video conference call with her international colleagues and it was going great. She was being praised and she was happy with her job well done. Towards the tail end of the conference while the follow-up action points were being discussed and she was feeling elated that her viewpoints were being asked. She heard a tone from her phone. She was pinged by her boyfriend. She was distracted as this was the message she had been waiting for since a long time. She lost her chain of thoughts and was not able to contribute to the discussion. Fearing that she had given the wrong impression she was not happy anymore.

So why did this happen? When you are happy why do you forget to be responsible or get distracted, disremember on doing certain jobs or perform to your maximum potential?

This is because of being out of practice of being happy and fear of missing out.

So when you are happy, ecstatic, elated or overjoyed, you give most of your attention and energy to it and the rest of your life gets a second priority.  The moment you realise that there is a loss, mistake, hurt or cost to you being ‘happy’, you decide to take the learning as, ‘happiness and responsibilities don’t go hand in hand.’ This promotes in postponement of happiness. Meaning ‘be happy later.’
Happiness as an experience, gives a lot of pleasure. Happiness as a habit, is far more rewarding. The habit comes from regular practice. Then it does get sprung on you as something needs a lot of attention and you will not suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out.)
Start looking for the good in everything. Even when you miss out, make a mistake or others make a mistake, look for what good has come out of this for you especially and specifically.
Daily regular practice of this will start to make you feel calmer, smiling will become easy, multi-tasking between enjoying and taking care of the job at hand will become easy and seamless, the energy level is good, dealing with life situations that are tough will be doable, recognizing blessings will be prompt.
Happiness will be full time.

#happiness #lookingforgood #habit #practice
#lifecoaching #counselling #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Reena Yadav.

The Success Mantra

The Success Mantra


The Success Mantra.
Step1: Define success for you.
It is always in two parts. (a) What is the requirement to get it? (b)What is the end product that you get that assures you that it has happened?
1 a. For some, it is hard work. Some it could be serving and feeling useful. For some, it is excellence and quality. For some, it is a strategy. For some, it is network, marketing, and mentorship. For some, it is their belief in the higher power, God, religious processes, fasting and donating.
1 b. For some it is money. Some it is safety/security. For some, it is the level of energy, vitality, and longevity. While for others creating great relationships.
Step2: Ask yourself, is this your definition or your care taker’s and influencer’s definition. If it agrees with you keep that else HEAL that.
When you were growing up if you were told that you need to be seen working/busy or doing something all the time even without proper guidance or plan, whilst showing you that the results you were getting were a form of failure then, you will grow up thinking that your success mantra is hard work or even looking/being busy. But the results will never satisfy you. Here you will have to work on being and feeling enough before you can decide on your own definition of success.

Similarly, if your influencers made you delegate and oversee jobs/tasks rather than letting you have hands-on experience to get the work done then and if you are curious about process and reinventing the wheel in innovative ways, you will never have good support system or you will drive them away as you will keep micro-managing, you will be critical of others contribution while being possessive and sensitive of your creative work. You will need to create a balance. Decide what you want to do to explore your creative self and when and what to delegate. You will have to learn to trust them and agree to co-create and be a team player before defining your definition of success mantra.
Step3: Re-define success as per your healed self. Hard work and/or Right effort and having confidence in your efforts. Managing and/or getting managed.
Step 4: Revisit steps 1 through 4. Keep repeating this till you can read through the definition with ease and can smile and breathe easy.
This is the energy that is required to fuel the manifestation of your success.

#successmantra #belief #caregivers #influencers #definition
#lifecoaching #counselling #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Reena Yadav.

Celebrating Children

Children are true physical evidence of what life is all about.

Children are true physical evidence of what life is all about.

#1. Great managers. They only go to whom they can get it done by.

#2. Copy cats. They do what they see more than just what they are told.

#3. Grateful. They express gratitude for what they like.

#4. Clear. They have clarity on what they want.

#5. Understand and sense energy.

#6. Always willing to grow and so are fast learners. This is evident from their constant showering of questions.

#7. Easy to please. Happiness is their state of being.

#8. They love everything about themselves. Even their poop.

#9. Limitless. Anything that limits them, dis-pleases them. They make it evident by crying and screaming.

These are also the characteristics of your Inner child and your Universe.

If you have wondered about not feeling good from within and delay in manifestations of your desires, even though you are practicing saying positive affirmations. Check your energy level, your clarity about what you want. Ask yourself, is happiness your state of being or are you constantly cribbing and/or are subservient about your needs.

These are exactly what you are showing to your inner self and your Universe. You don’t love yourself. You are not worthy.  You are in no hurry, let others be taken care of first. You have yet to prepare or not satisfied with your preparation and so you don’t see yourself as ready.

To communicate with your inner self and to your Universe use your child-like characteristics.
#Children #Universe #
InnerChild #life #charateristics #communication #manifestation

#lifecoaching #counselling #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Reena Yadav.

say Self-Empowering Statements right now

say Self-Empowering Statements right now
IADLife Next Chapter :
Summary, ” When you are feeling low and sad, instead of mulling over a situation or a mistake, try this self-empowering exercise. Build yourself up by empowering sentences. Do not beat yourself down with self-criticism. Say self-empowering statements to yourself right then. Notice how your feelings change for the better.”

self-empowering statements

Say self-empowering statements right now

Whenever you find yourself in low energy or low vibration, instantly ask yourself this. ‘What is the most self-empowering sentence that you can say to yourself right now?’ Notice the change in the energy level and vibration. It is guaranteed to move up.
Initially, you may possibly get all righteous on yourself and will not be able to decide if it is ok to say these sentences. But what if you assume them to have manifested and to be true already, there are bigger chances that you can allow yourself to say these sentences to yourself. In case it is still difficult for you then, you can choose a general set of statements that are actually true but positive for you. It may or not be related to that situation at the time. Eventually, when you remember something empowering about the situation and is connected with you and the situation, you could pencil it down for future use.
An empowering statement can be an affirmation, a recognition, an appreciation, a prayer, something positive for you. It is just about anything that makes you feel good, better or elated.
When you ask yourself this one question, your whole mind-focus goes to this question and a search begins within for that sentence. You search your thoughts with your mind and your surroundings with your eyes and what you hear with your ears for clues that get you to the most empowering ones. While the mind cherry picks the best ones and dismisses all the others, you notice how your mind refuses to go off the non-critical zone. Do not give up. The very first sentence that is pleasing and one that is appealing to you, choose that immediately. Notice how you start feeling better energetically. Bring yourself to saying thank you after that and try to give yourself a smile.
The whole idea is not to ignore the present situation but to take a self-affirmative decisions that will benefit you now and in the long run. Staying in low vibration may bring you in a zone where you feel sorry for yourself, you will be critical of others and self and this might lead you make self-destructive decisions that could bring harm to you and to all that is associated with you.

When you think self-empowering thoughts;
# You start to gain perspective on what is possible and doable.
# You stay in the present instead of lingering into past or future.
# You begin a constructive and creative way to see your life solutions.
# Your energy is now saved and all this extra, new and high vibrational energy propels you to be at vibrational alignment with prosperity.

Self-empowering sentences are healthy for your mind and for your body and your space.

These may be practiced on regular basis so that when the situation is tough you are already empowered and just thinking of one or two sentences will bring you back to your healthy thinking level.
To practice the ‘empowerment exercise’, you could use post-it(s), print outs, recording audios or as a screen savours. For example, while you are on a treadmill you could stick an empowering saying that you could repeat to yourself from time to time during the exercise. You could sit in front of a mirror look into your eyes and repeat the empowering sentences. This really works very effectively when you do this early morning every day. You could memorise a few of these sentences and repeat while driving, cooking, typing or walking. While walking or working you could record some sentences that boost your morale and mood in your voice. Getting use to your voice is a good idea for that is the voice that is speaking in your mind. This will help in becoming friends with your voice.
You could write down beautiful sentences in a notebook and keep them ready. When you are stressed or you sense that you are unhappy about something, you could use this notebook and repeat those sentences.
The impromptu empowerment exercise has greater benefits. In the situation that is hurting or disturbing you ask this question, ‘What is the most self-empowering statement that you can say to yourself right now?’ Your mind de-focuses from the current situation and calms you. Permit your mind to do so. Support yourself by consciously doing the exercise. What you feel after this empowerment exercises is the feeling of empowerment. You are empowered.
This empowerment exercise is about building you up. You become respectable and loving towards yourself. There is a shift from being indecisive to a decision-maker. You trust your decisions. You stand up for yourself and you speak your mind in a way that it conveys what you truly mean. Experiences that you will now attract will get better and better. Fear reduces and motivation increases. Letting go and moving forward now is a possibility. Dependencies get converted into good co-dependencies.
This empowering exercise is for your personal growth. It has a ripple effect on all your life situations and entities in it.
#self-talk #empoweringsentences #healthyconversation #buildyourselfup #personalgrowth
#healing #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Reena Yadav. IADLife.
We at IADLife we provide healing services for empowerment.

Journey till now


My Journey till now.


# By this year 2019, I am now writing what I understand and know about this field which I have coined as, ‘Human Science.’ My job description includes authoring books from IADLife sayings and research data (specifically mine), entrepreneurial and administrative responsibilities, life coaching, training, and energy healing.

# We at IADLife have introduced most of the IADLife services distantly or online. This is to increase the network and for a larger reach all over the planet.

# I work and lead IADLife with full gusto. I started this venture in the year 2013. At that time my only focus was to read and study about life full time. It’s A DESERVING Life, was started to support me to pay my bills, and of course, I was as I am still, convinced that it is hugely beneficial to all who are willing to take the services.

# At Genotypic, Bangalore I was fortunate that I was to be able to work on all aspects and process of Next Generation Sequencing (NGS), as coordinator of the long term projects. I was there for approximately 10 months and the growth I saw in me was multi-fold. I give all the credit and am pleasantly grateful to the founders of the company, a couple of people I was reporting to and to all the people who were responsible for me getting the job.

# My previous experiences include me working at AstraZeneca R&D India, (2002-2012) on drug discovery on Tuberculosis caused by Mycobacterium tuberculosis H37Rv. At AZ I was working on drug discovery projects and have made an in-depth bioinformatics-genomics contribution towards target prioritization, selection, qualification, and evaluation.

My gratitude towards AZ is endless. I was supported, sheltered, trained, and funded as I went through the toughest time of my life. Here I was also globally exposed to the nuances of interactions, which now I know has trained me to be a very comfortable conversationalist. This attribute of mine comes to great use while I carry out my work at IADLife.

Note from me: My introduction to human science was a few years ago and it had immediately resounded with me. I have studied this science for many years now and I can confidently and irrevocably call myself an expert in this field.
This field has revealed that the human body is an amazing healing machine, and it just needs to be reminded that it has that quality and ability to self-heal. Changing ones thought pattern can change and thus heal health, enhance aspirations, manifest desires and explain life. Tools that support such an astounding process are many. All that I have learned I apply and make it available to all through IADLife services.

We at IADLife aim and intend to bring joy to billions of people all over the planet through many ideas that I have. For that, I need your support, participation, and contribution through collaboration. I would love to discuss my ideas with you. A brief description of all that for which we are looking for collaboration is in

This is my journey till now. I pray that I move forward to fulfill the intentions of IADLife and mine as I move forward. Full speed ahead. God’s speed.

2018 The Year That Was.

2018: The Year That Was.



It was a year of self-healing and learning. There were new programs launched at IADLife and we had a new set of clientele from diverse backgrounds. The highlight of that was ‘the gratitude’, vision board making, de-cluttering, workshop for corporates – online workshops.
I spoke about the #meToo movement (link: I have always been of opinion that everyone deserves healing and that healing can expedite when ‘all’ come together. ‘Hurt people hurt people’, so in this sensitive environment of pain and blame, channelizing of healing becomes selective. This will only bring healing to some, while the other people instead of receiving/taking healing may find another means to hurt by not getting caught. And because of that, the hurt might continue. Bullies and abusers of all age groups and genders need to be attended too to understand and heal the underlying causative reason for the hurt. (link:
My understanding of the guidance from a higher source is getting clearer. I am in a place to take actions and argue less on them, ‘but….I thought/I want…’ has reduced. I move forward with faith and excitement.
Being responsible for my actions and the life experiences I have attracted were yet another courageous realisation that gives me a new power to solve and come to the ‘why’s’ of the life.
All this is making me a better and better life coach and also gives me the space to explore the creative geniuses within me.
What other growth and prosperity did I see? I am less nervous about my future and my life status. I tell myself that it counts. But the desires are very clear to me. I continue to ask for guidance on how to manifest them. This gives me the motivation to get up in the morning, keep going, moving forward, complete the pending ideas and have the courage to embrace bigger and better opportunities and set an intention of receiving bigger and better returns.
It is great to stay in touch, so keep writing to me at Let’s keep creating something fun for all of us.
Thank you and wish you a very happy and fun 2019.
What do you say when someone wishes you?
Just say ‘Thank you for the affirmation.’
Reena Yadav.

#counsellor #lifeCoach #2018 #2019 #thankyoufortheaffirmation #IADLife #itsadeservinglife

Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
Twitter: @IADLife
Instagram: iad_life



#metoo movement for both men and women.


#metooforpeople #metooformenandwomen #metooforall

IADlife Next chapter:

Dear Friend

#metoo is being discussed in many forums. My request is all who wish to discuss any situation happening in their lives, please contact me. Take professional help and heal.

If you have any general views please share here.

These are my views.

Abuse of any kind is limiting. Workplace or home. It is limiting and it kills creativity.

What is amazing is that in the #metoo movement focus is on women. Victim, survivors or thrivers. They are getting the support or the blame. What about men. Kevin Spacey was charged for molesting a man/boy/male.

My understanding is two-fold.

One, people do because they can. If they get away with it once, they will do it again. If for any reason they were not stopped they try again with the same person or with someone with a similar demeanor.

Second, every abuser has been abused, has an abuser in their life or has witnessed someone close being abused. It is not an excuse. But, it helps in finding out the cause. Men are abused too. Branden Frazer was groped. He felt so humiliated, that sent him to a self-exile from movies for a long time.

But we know about them because these men spoke up, came forward.

If we all can collectively talk about humans or people instead of only women, then the root cause can be addressed.

#metooforpeople #metooformenandwomen

Talking about abuse can take time because of the mental programming. Guilt, fear, anger, blame – all towards self.

I am grateful that some speak up because others who still can’t are looking at them for the possible solutions. I believe these are strong people too. They give me a sense of security and live, thrive and function creatively.

The next abuser in the making will think twice.

The bystanders are the secondary victims. They go through the trauma without going through the actual abuse. But, they react as if they are there. So in not supporting or forcing someone else to keep quiet, is what they are doing to themselves. Because that’s how helpless they see their situation as.
They need to know that collectively they can find solutions. Shoving under the rug has never achieved any benefits.

Can’t support, can’t help, can’t contribute optimistically then, their silence and getting out of the way us much appreciated.

I promote men and women to come forward and take their case to the relevant groups and find solutions.

Judging or being judgemental towards the authenticity of their situation is an individual choice. It is very true, is at a case by case basis.

I support men and women who speak out, some write and I also support the some who want to remain clandestine. Only request is all that seek professional help and heal. Move forward and prosper. It is only then that we are all in a better position to support ourselves and others.

Thank you for reading, Reena Yadav, IADLife

#metooforpeople #metooformenandwomen

#corporate #organization #corporateworkshop #corporate #supportforCorporate #supportforindividual

#deservinglife #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

​Reena Yadav

Life Coach, Author, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife

+91-80-42188074, +91-9886077034


Official website:



Twitter: @IADLife

Instagram: iad_life

prosperity converts

Prosperity converts jealousy into admiration and inspiration.

prosperity converts

IADLife Next Chapter:

Dear Friend

Prosperity converts jealousy into admiration and inspiration. Case study: ‘C’ had a puppy love with her college sweetheart. Both had the same circle of friends. When ‘C’ and her boyfriend started to getting involved, two of their friends teased her and told secrets about her boyfriend in a way that seemed like it was deliberately meant to demotivate her from the relationship and dissuading her to take the relationship forward. Each teasing was accompanied with an undertone of, ‘buts.’ Her boyfriend, on the other hand, was getting information about ‘C’ that she had low confidence, she isn’t that great in her subject, and she gets into fights with boys. There were comments at her personal level too like, her parents were quite conservative and she had not told he parents yet. It was hurtful to ‘C’. However, when ‘C’ and her boyfriend met she was particularly mindful of talking only about hopeful things about the future and the relationship. As they all graduated everyone moved into different directions in the area of study, career and different parts of the world. When the social networking sites came into the picture, some of her friends decided to connect. ‘C’ responded in acceptance. ‘C’ had two sons, and was working in a corporate and was married to her same college boyfriend. On knowing this, the same friends who were unsupportive started speaking about her in a new tune. Her friends wrote on the group message how they were inspired by her. How she created a life she always desired. One friend messaged, ‘you made it.’ Her fight with boys now became her ability to speak her mind, her grades that were low was now being seen as irrelevant and that she always knew that her excellence would reflect in productivity and progress at her job. What seemed to be her low confidence was interpreted as her certainty in direction and therefore she did not need to be vociferous about it. She was being admired for the respect she had for her parents. According to one the naysayer friend, ‘that was the reason she wanted to share about her boyfriend with her parents only if she was very sure about her relationship with him.’ It was ‘C’s’ prosperity in life that had changed everyone’s viewpoint. It had created an expansion in the mindset to see with evidence what is possible. Such plausibility removes the resistance which had surfaced as a mark of unachievability, and which had been causing the jealousy and thus was responsible for the spurting of the disaffirmations.    This applies to your attitude towards your life too. When there is profit, benefit or gain from the very life experiences you have been self-criticising, self-blaming and getting stressed or upset about, with yourself and/or others, you will now be able to see it in a new light. Feelings of hate or hurt towards it will now convert into something light and pleasurable. All this is the magic of prosperity. You become more allowing towards yourself. The experiences that once seemed as your blockage now become the path or a stepping stone for desire manifestation. So when there is trouble, still keep going. Don’t let it be a reason or an excuse to stop. In retrospect, you will be able to see the essence of the trouble and will go down in memory lane as another life experience.

#prosperity #jealousyintoadmiration #prosperityconverts

#corporate #organization #corporateworkshop #corporate #supportforCorporate #supportforindividual

#deservinglife #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

​Reena Yadav

Life Coach, Author, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife

+91-80-42188074, +91-9886077034


Official website:



Twitter: @IADLife

Instagram: iad_life

Corporate Burnout – fact or misnomer

Corporate Burnout – a fact or a generalised misnomer?

Corporate Burnout – a fact or a generalised misnomer?
IADLife Next Chapter:

Dear Friend,
One of the reasons people want to use this term is because they seem to agree that it is, in fact, a ‘Corporate Burnout.’
My understanding of ‘Corporate Burnout’ is that it is the forefront of something else that is happening in the background.

What according to you is corporate burnout?
I have fifteen years of work experience in corporate and then I started my own firm, IADLife. My experiences in the corporate are the first-hand conventional example of what people call as corporate burnout.
Truthfully I don’t know that corporate burnout is what it can be called because even then I didn’t think that I was somebody who had utilised all the life experiences, skills, and opportunities in order to say that I had the possibility of a burnout.
I thought there is more to do. There is more I am supposed to do, and there is more that can be done.
I now understand after talking to many people and going through my own self-healing process, that this cannot be called corporate burnout. It is absolutely something else which is defining, dictating and promoting such a thought. It is easier for you to communicate the already established term, rather than actually trying to explain what your situation is.
Because once you start explaining, A. It takes a long time B. It may have personal reasons attached to it which you may not be ready, willing or comfortable sharing/mentioning and C. You are not sure if the other person is really interested.
Unless and until you have utilised all of your time and space on this planet to work during your work years, you cannot say that you have burnt out or you have burned out.
Another fact to actually defining and putting a terminology or glossary to any of the situations is that it may or may not exactly be the term that you think is associated with that situation or description, for example, ‘Dry Ice.’

So what do you understand from corporate burnout information that you think you have and when you say that, ‘You know what! I think I have corporate burnout. How do I tackle this? Do I leave my job? Do I completely start something new?’
Let’s discuss that first.
The main reason or the causative agent of so-called ‘corporate burnout’ is stress. The synonym of this reason is tension. The main contributors to this are actually the misunderstanding and underestimation of self. You are self-critical and it is a way for you to try to take your attention away from an opinion that you have formed about yourself not knowing enough.
What you hear around you is the reflection of your own thoughts. That’s the reason you hear it regarding your work from someone else. It could be the people in the office or outside, whom you are in any way willing to listen to.
It could be somebody senior or junior at home, somebody who is related to you, not related to you, your peers, your friends, your neighbours, your colleagues, boss, somebody superior or influential to you and whom you are willing to pay heed to.
They start complying with your internal conversations in such a way that it starts telling you that, ‘You need to do more, you are not doing enough.’
But you are unclear where you are not doing enough and what more you need to do. This is the genesis of stress, suggesting you to give up and therefore the burnout.

Is the ‘corporate burnout’ to do with setting the expectations and guessing the kind of work that is expected in an organisation?
Yes, it could be. But this would be a very generalised suggestion. There need not be any guessing.
Instead of saying ‘work expected in an organisation’, I would say, work expected in that project, work expected on that particular day, work expected in that particular moment. You can decide on your expectation based on that.
As an example, a personnel is in a meeting and the person is expected to use his/her specific skills, quick thinking, creative mind and/or experiences from before. Suppose he/she has not able to do that in that meeting. Then, he/she has not done what is expected in that meeting only and not in the organisation. It cannot be a general term. It is situational. It is project based. It is discussion based. The moment you generalise it is then that you start putting in a part of your belief that, ‘you are not doing enough’ and ‘from what is being expected you are not able to contribute enough.’ Consequentially the growth stops or growth becomes really slow. It affects everything – growth, expansion, and exploring. And that affects skills, talents, input, quality, willingness, motivation, and energy levels. This is followed by blame game and excuses, such as ‘it is because of the traffic’, ‘it is very far from my home’, ‘the work hours are longer so there is no work-life balance’, ‘something is going on in my home’, ‘there are so many responsibilities’, ‘there is no compatibility in my team or office’, ‘my salary is such’, ‘the environment at the office is like that’, ‘people are too disturbing’, ‘everybody seems to have a different opinion’, ‘everybody is going in a different direction’ or ‘there is no decorum.’
As the attention diverts on to the blame there is no focus on the solution. There is stagnation in the same situation and accumulation of pent-up stress.
Next, you want to take time out. Say, fifteen days out and you go to maybe a family outing, a resort or explore your creativity, you would go for a photography conference, a movie conference or a comicon, that is anything that is light and that helps you in relieving the stress. It is possible that it will work. When you come back, you come back rejuvenated. I am sure you do.
But what happens is, if you are not addressing the reality behind the need for a break or so-called corporate burnout then, the fatigue, stress, and malaise come back. It is like you are refilling your lantern to reuse it but you are not cleaning the soot that is responsible for the excess fuel consumption. The lantern lights well. The fuel gets used up fast and it diminishes again.
This really could be solved by actually addressing what exactly is it that is stopping you from enjoying having a job of that position, that place, that particular company, and of that particular environment? What is keeping you from enjoying the money that you are getting from it? And yes, it is putting food on your table. You buy clothes with that. You pay your bills with that. The job provides interactions, exposure, and expansion of your skills. All are the irreplaceable and valuable experience. And, you are being paid to actually learn and practice your skills. How about that?

The solution is therefore in the action of you listing all the things that you already have because of this job.

What you have because of the job could be a benefit or a learning.
Benefits too, you may or may not see easily. These are the ones that give you pleasure.
Learning is in the hurt, pain, and discomfort. It might seem like all that causes frustration, irritation, is hurting you at that time. They basically hold a learning. The situations that are causing this are trying to tell you something. Something you need to change. These teach you what not to do and from that emerges what you could learn to do. For example an abusive communication teaches you that it is limiting and therefore being creative in communication would be motivating and that you deserve a respectful conversation. That is what you could be grateful for.
You may not see any point being in the situation at that time. However, if you try to run, escape or dodge from such a situation or experience, you need to know that you can run from people, you can run from a place but you cannot ever run from the learning. It will follow you in the form of similar life situations. These are called ‘patterns.’ Be it department, group, project or even organisation change. You may have the same situation recreating itself regardless of how many times you move. Unless you understand the real reason behind the discord and discontentment.
A pattern is a very proven reality and I have experienced it up close. I moved from one organisation to another and I actually saw that the pattern continued till I actually was willing to take that responsibility of understanding the situation and making the changes in my life.
By your willingness to address your situation you are also making changes at the organisation level and for that, you really will need to be at a place where people are really willing to hear you and for that, you have to be willing to hear your own self first.
The idea behind these actions is that it brings your focus more on what you have. Be mindful of not listing based on what others don’t have. It is not about the number of people that are unemployed but at-least you have a job or that, even though you deserve a better job but, because many others don’t have this kind of job, so you stick to the job. That’s not what you want for yourself. That practice really doesn’t work.
What is being suggested is that you could show gratitude for your achievements, available resources, experiences, and the path traveled. This could help you know that you are doing enough.

Where does the change start?
Is it much more difficult to blame your own self?
Most importantly it is not about blame at all. When you start realising that you are the person who can take responsibility for an unappealing situation, it might seem immediately or just initially that every single person other than you is responsible for that situation. You would want them to change.
When you start taking responsibility of your situation and you start saying, ‘ok, so what can I do differently from yesterday so that my today will be different and tomorrow will be more enhanced and more like the way I want it to be?’
You could find resources to enhance your skills, improve your health, and add fun in life. You can start with a very simple step. Make changes in your words. Say what you actually WANT and DESIRE, rather than words based on what impression the past has left on you.
All this will take all the focus and energy away from other people and bring it towards your own self. You will find less time to be critical and eventually become more loving and be respecting towards yourself. And when your focus is channeled towards you, it is only then that you get clear on the REAL situation and you get REAL solutions.

What are the specific solutions and reality checks that are needed to make you realise that it is not others but it is you that has to take responsibilities for it? How do you work it out? Do you try and manage the time better? Do you try and feel better about the kind of expectation has been put over you?

This is all case by case basis. If I say that you have to take responsibility, it may show more of strictness there. The emphasis, therefore, is on the information that, you can take responsibility for your situation. There is the big difference between saying – ‘you are responsible’ vis-à-vis ‘you could take responsibility.’
The whole vibration changes the moment you say, you could take responsibility because that indicates that you have the skill, support and the power to change your own situation.
You are doing enough and you have all the skills and all the talent but because of your stress level, you are not enjoying the reciprocation, the accolades and other good things that are coming as a feedback to your efforts. Because you yourself are so self-critical that you are not able to see that you did a great job and you say something to the contrary, ‘I could have done this better.’ The appreciation doesn’t stop coming, it is you who has stopped receiving.
When you take the responsibility, the way it will work is that your self-criticism will lessen or stop, as the first indication. The next thing will be, you will start being more kind and more loving towards yourself. Every single thing in this world is based on communication, whether your communication is within yourself or the communication is outside yourself. So, whether you are communicating with yourself or you are communicating with the world outside, the communication becomes very-very clear. There is no basis and therefore no space for arguments. When there is no argument then there is no anger, fear, frustration, or irritation. Only creative ideas are going to flow and the only thing that is going to happen is that it is going to enhance your career, project, interaction and the organisation where you are working. You are able to start viewing clearly what is happening in your organisation, in the place around you, with people, with the project, with yourself and in their life. You will now start noticing every single good thing that is happening in your workspace.

Do Organisations themselves also need to incorporate certain measures, some amount of intervention to take care of their employees and keep them from giving up, quitting, leaving?
What do you say an organisation is? An organisation is a non-living entity. When you are hurting and you seek solution it is a person to whom you will walk up to. An employee walks up to an HR and says that ‘I am not taking another day of the stress and I am quitting.’ To the employee, it might seem that he/she is saying it to the organization. But what he/she needs to know is that the organisation may not be affected. Organisation per say is a huge entity and it encompasses a lot of other people many of them are happy, some people are not happy, some people are medium happy and some people are happy at certain percentages.
The point here is that every single person could take that responsibility of changing something in their life.
What the organisation can do to promote this situation is to actually hire us. IADLife can talk to the employees and educate them on this aspect. IADLife has a scientific basis for explaining and addressing the right issues. Our job at IADLife is to bridge the gap between the employees and the managers. When people work in association with each other, in collaboration with each other, in helpfulness on each other it is then that the projects prosper and the organisation actually blooms.
The organisation, of course, has to take the responsibility so that they can reduce attrition, they can actually promote people to stay and be called as the best place for the employee.
As every single person starts contributing to their own progress can you imagine the multitude of the progress that will happen?
It is more profitable that way, rather than giving that responsibility to a selected few in an organisation like managers who already have enough on their plate with their own set of organizational responsibilities and importantly they are not part of corporate burnout. They are the ones who are climbing the organizational ladders. So, why would they be concerned about something like attrition? They would be concerned about getting their work done and they expect this to organisation’s responsibility to get the right person. Their job is to take the organisation forward, solving an employee’s issues is not in their profile. This is an extra responsibility, and people will keep shifting the blame, people will keep shifting the responsibilities because the fact of the matter is that these people are already doing their jobs which they are assigned for.
This is a gigantic and an important job to take care of everybody that there cannot be one person responsible for everybody. Every single person could take the responsibility of changing each of their lives and just by changing their own lives they are basically changing the life of the whole organisation. Guidance and support will come from IADLife and the organization.
This is how you are supposed to move forward and we are making people self-reliant. Isn’t that what an organization is looking for? Skilled people, talented people, creative people who are willing to take responsibility and thus comes loyalty, sincerity and willingness to actually support each other, stand by each other regardless of what the situation is, whether it is difficulty in projects, whether it is working in the weekends, whether it is taking care of somebody else’s house matters.

Now everything flows.

Note of Thanks:
I am truly thankful to Nishtha Sabharwal, Chief Copyright Editor from the Economics Times for the topic and for the questions that contributed in the flow of the article.

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#deservinglife #grateful #thankyou #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach

#reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
Life Coach, Writer, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife landline +91 80- 42188074
Twitter: @IADLife
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