It’s OK. It’s Fine. But is it really OK or FINE?
It’s ok, it’s Fine. But, is it really ok and fine?
Accepting as a norm. Adjusting. Compromising. Suppressing.
Expressions like ‘it’s like that only’, ‘it’s not going to happen.’ Are indicative of you surrendering to your situations, convinced that you are unable to change the situation.
What is the truth behind it? Are you really convinced that the situation cannot be changed? Factual answer to these questions is, ‘you are not completely convinced’. After the change is mentioned or suggested, it is followed by work/action/effort. But another truth is that the efforts that could follow have the blockage of fear. Fear of appearing stupid or silly? Fear of being wrong? Fear of failing? All this lowers the energy. Therefore, you don’t hear out a suggestion. Leave alone to try it you don’t even give it a thought. Instead, you Jump into a conversation, proclaiming the knowledge and understanding and enforce a view point that projects limiting in nature.
It is limiting to you and it is limiting to others.
The force with which you thrust your communication is to ensure that the other party also is dissuaded to think and take action beyond the limited invisible borders just created by your unwillingness to attempt/try/explore.
When you continue with this in many situations, it becomes behaviour. This behaviour is suffocating in nature.
Why is this behaviour then? You have been stopped many times. You and ideas have been rejected several times. You have seen person/people in your space getting suppressed, dismissed or even ridiculed. All this is absorbed as an insult by you. You lose self-esteem due to all these disapprovals. Avoidance is the method that you take up to carry on.
What can be done to change? Please pay close attention to the inner inkling. Is there an irritation or anger that surfaces as soon as there is a possibility of a follow up alternate action or viewpoint that is about to be placed in your space. Acknowledge these feelings. Let guide your willingness to surface. Put your energy into making a physical or mental note of what ideas, suggestions, ways that are being mentioned. Right then or little later, say to yourself ‘I am willing to try.’ You are a winner for trying. Affirm ‘ I am a super winner, I can do this’, ‘ Everyone in my space is a super winner.’ Now go ahead and try it.
It could start with ‘listening’ and ‘replying.’ Answer with certainty based on what you truly know rather than what you have speculated. ‘I have tried’ or ‘ from what I know’ or ‘ from my experience(s) (maybe mention the number of times your experienced), this is what I know.’
No one else has lived your life. You cannot go wrong in talking about ‘your perspective.’
You can only stand up and support what mkes sense to you. That is your understanding of facts, knowledge, and observations. Distinguish between this with the hearsay.
This increases your willingness to explore new options. You are neither limiting yourself nor are you limiting others. There is exciting breathing space for you to grow, change and in experience the new. This makes you more comfortable with life.
Life is fun.
You recognise when some other person has been inflicting the limiting behavior on you. So now other than stopping yourself or putting energy in convincing that person you decide where and when to let go, surpass, and find alternate ways.
Keep moving forward in life and do not accept limitations. Opt for possibilities.
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
Note: Thank you to Priyashree B K for suggesting to write a blog on this topic.