Why take counselling

Why take counselling sessions? – Wednesday Why?

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Dear Friend!

Wednesday’s Why? Why take counselling?

Why indeed! Because you don’t need to do it all by yourself.

My previous job was in corporate. During one of the coffee break, I met a colleague in the pantry and he started sharing his life situations. Even then in one conversation, it was very clear to me that he and his wife both needed help. A few years later when I started IADLife. I sent him an email about my IADLife job profile and suggested him to take healing sessions. To that, he replied, “Thanks for the information regarding your new venture and I wish you more and more progress and success. I am sorry this one is not for me. I am into an age group where if I cannot manage my life’s challenges, then it would be a shame! I am at peace with myself. Thanks, but no thanks. Best of luck with your new venture.” When suggested to take help does not imply that you unable. It only means that you are fortunate enough to attract and receive the help that is right for you. This is a form of delegation. This is a service that is provided to you for you.

I have great regards for people who take that step.

Counsellors are teachers who will understand from your energy, behaviour and your own verbal admittance of your life situation. The counsellor will then share with you the knowledge that will help change that. If you think you are stuck or if you see yourself doing just fine, in both conditions the counsellors act as a light bearer to show you the path to enhance your life. Having the counsellor that is right or best for you is the matter of great honor and privilege.

Many have been existing with the thinking that taking help is for the weak. That thinking is now ingrained so deep within the consciousness that it has gotten transformed into a belief. A rule that they believe in and cannot defy. Regardless of how dire their situation, they try to use the methods of the strong-armed people whom they have seen as a success and emulate a solution of your consideration. You certainly mean well. It might even seem to work sometimes but there are going to be backlashes and the situation gets worse. At other times it keeps you trapped in the same situation.

Not taking support is not brave.

Counselling is a healing solution for you to change or enhance something in your life. It is a non-judgemental space. In this space, you can give yourself permission to get clear about what you are actually going through. The real picture of what is really happening in your space. This is a safe space where you allow yourself to see the blame, the mistakes, the errors, the faults, and the blunders of your own self and that of others without prejudice. All this under the expert and unbiased supervision of a counsellor.

You are not meant to be in pain or confusion, nor are you supposed to merely survive while you are here on the planet. You are meant to thrive.

To further help you get comfortable with counselling, let us understand counselling and its aspects.

What is counselling?

Counselling is a conversation between two willing parties. One of which is the expert who holds the answers and the other is the one that is seeking answers and has the important part of the healing that is ‘the question.’

Difference between counselling and life coaching.

Counselling is independent sessions. They can be one or more than one. They can be with the same counsellor or a different one. Life coaching is a set of sessions booked with the same coach/counsellor based on their guidance. Both are useful. Counselling gives you a choice on the number of sessions and the counsellor. Life coaching allows you to observe the healing trajectory with help from the same counsellor who has been with you through your healing journey.

About the counsellors.

Counsellors counsel that is they advise, guide, direct, recommend what is in your benefit. They sometimes use healing techniques like tapping, mirror-work, hypnotherapy and/or energy healing that what will support in solving, will bring you at ease, make you comfortable, happy, safe and/or prosperous.

Counsellors are meant to be on your side. When you get that, the interaction is in alignment in terms of delayering, information sharing in quota & type, language, and connection. You will feel light, calm and good after each session. Till you find the alignment you will find it challenging, frustrating and uncomfortable as it is pushing you out of your core beliefs.

Taking the counselling requires a very important ingredient and that is ‘your willingness.’ Interestingly the willingness of the counsellor to accept you as a client is also important.

Which is a counsellor for you?

When you decide to take help and support to solve your life situation, you get suggestions, recommendations, or you do your own search through various databases and search engines. You jot down the contact details of the counsellors. You sort out the counsellor that you wish to contact according to their expertise and testimonials. You see which one aligns with you and your needs the most. You fix an appointment and you take a session. If for any reason you see yourself feeling unsafe, humiliated, repressed, controlled or misguided, you can decide not to go for the next session or you can even choose to walk out. Get clear about what you did not like about the session. Sincere advice is that you do not stop your healing. Look for another counsellor.

Cost, time invested and transportation are important. However, it is a kind request that you ask and go for the counsellor that is best for you.

What are you supposed to do?

You may ask your friend, acquaintance or family to accompany you to the venue. Get clear about the procedure and protocol. This is so that you can take care of the logistics, get comfortable and focus on the session booked for you. Have questions, ask and get the answers. Do not question or challenge the expert. Asking questions is you clearing doubts and gaining understanding. Questioning is you doubting your own self and all that you have attracted in your life. Keep an open mind. Remember that the session is for you and is about you. Everything is verbal and there is no force. Allow yourself to be at ease. Avoid comparing the counsellor or the benefit, changes or progress made by or seen in others. Do not try to make it about anyone else. Show respect, be respectful, of yourself and the counsellor. You don’t need to impress the counsellor. At the end of the session, review – did you get the answers? Did you feel safe? Would you like to come back? If not, then the reason has to connected to you, it has to be ‘you oriented.’

Fixing the counselling.

Self-booking a session works as much as being booked by others. Once the session is booked you need to turn up.

We had a client who booked life coaching for her brother as life coaching as a gift. You can decide to sponsor session or sessions for others or ask for sponsors.

Before you decide or refuse, you require the following information about COUNSELLING. What is counselling? Why take counselling? Why is counselling important?  Do that work or even for that you can take help from a counsellor.

The decision is always yours.

Your healing is your responsibility. You may choose to take it now or move the decision to a later date. My suggestion is you start today.

The counsellor’s responsibility is to turn up, be there for you and give you the solutions from their best knowledge base. Somtimes counsellor may refer you to other counsellors for their reasons like they could be going on a holiday, they need expertise of another counsellor or they are not comfortable. Choice again is yours to agree to take sessions with the new counsellor.

Professional Counselling is a service provided by the healing industry. It requires resource investments. Time, money, energy and willingness.

Counselling is completely confidential. Some counsellors tape or make notes of the conversation to write the case studies for records or for research purposes. This happens after they take consent from the client.

Counsellors are not allowed to discuss case studies in public and they won’t. They are NOT gossip mongers.

Regardless of what treatment or healing process you decide to accept, the only way to establish faith in the process is by knowing about the what, when, why of the situation and then taking the continual action suggested. It has been found to be most effective. However, if you have enough faith and understanding of what you are following then, you can directly go for the processes.

My own counselling experience.

My own reality was as follows. I had been attending some workshops that were meant to make sense of the misses and losses in my life. I lost my right arm in a road traffic accident, I failed my exam that was meant to give a career after being an amputee, I lost my parents one after another then, I was laid off from a job that was supporting me in having grace and security in my life. I was doing all that I had gotten habitual doing. Hide and avoid/dodge people, blame and complain to myself and to the people who were in my space. I was stressed all the time and it was affecting my appearance, performances, and interactions. I was doing my best to hide it. I put on weight, had frequent migraines and was crying and was angry all the time. Upon that when someone or anyone pointed out that I looked stressed or tensed that, would trigger another level of anger on my inability to cover my problems in my life.

One mid-day a friend also neighbour called me in the office where I was working as a Bioinformatics scientist and requested me to do a background research on a counsellor. She suggested that if she wanted I could book the session for her. I did my bit and while I dialed the number of the counsellor I said to myself, ‘I need help too.’ When the counsellor picked up the call I booked for two sessions, one was for me.

Taking that step hugely mattered. I gradually trusted myself sharing my information with an expert and developed my willingness to hear that expert.

All the healing work that I was doing had now started to make sense.

A few years later I started IADLife. Today I am myself a trained life coach. Through my company, I decided to connect and collaborate with other counsellors and life coaches from all over India to bring to you the healing solutions that are best suited for you.

I highly recommend counselling sessions for all. Even when you think you have reached the edge of the planet and there is no way forward or if you think you are doing great, take counselling. You will be surprised how much you can achieve through comprehensive speaking and listing. The more you are open and you allow yourself, the quicker you will reach the next step, which is more creativity, productivity, health, and happiness.

Counselling is meant for the development of confident self-reliance and not fearful or insecure dependencies.

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Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
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