It is true that you are your parent’s daughter/son/child. But, you are Your own PERSON.
Have you ever wondered, how is it that you are so very good at your first language? The fluency, the ease, the spontaneity, with which you express in your first language, is like no other. The reason for that is you have had a very dedicated teacher or teacher(s) who have been available for your lessons and practice at all times. The proficiency that you gain is because of their diligence. The same goes for many other activities and processes that you have learned since your first year of arrival on this planet. These become your influencers. You trust them. You value their teaching.
For many, it is their parents. For many, it is their biological mother and/or father. As a living being, it is an inherent behaviour to belong. For this, you are willing to adapt. Your parents taught or teach you what they know. What they have known/know is from what they have learned or are learning from their teachers, their life experiences and their life situations.
This is never going to be yours.
You are a separate and different individual from them with different life experiences and life situations. As you spend more time on this planet and gain more experiences, many more teachers in the form of people or experience start becoming a part of your life. The information imparted to you from all of them has to be applied and implemented in a judicious manner customised, focused and oriented towards your life situations only.
The method, learning, knowledge, and information that is passed on from your teachers/parents to you, do not follow the rule of ‘one size fits all.’ Your false sense of loyalty suggests you that you force their rules into your life situations. When it works, you try to reprise all their methods or ways on other life situations or areas. When it does not work or even backfires, you start to develop anger and resentment towards the source of the knowledge. In many cases, it’s your parents.
As you step into the time, phase and age from when you can make your own decisions, the choice in the application of what you have learned from your parents is now entirely your discretion. Many times it works, other times it may not. You hanging on to their ways may push you into blaming them. This creates blockage for love, respect and/or forgiveness.
Your adamancy keeps you in the same place in your intellectual growth and affects your moving forward in life in a fun and prosperous manner.
They had reasons for why they taught you what they did. You could let go the obligation if any to try to prove to them, either that you love them or that they were/are wrong.
It is true you choose your parents as much as they choose you before coming on this planet. The Universe places people in our space throughout your life to learn from them and to teach them. Your main responsibility on this planet is however to recognise your own individuality. You are your own unique person. No other person can ever be you. Then why would you try to be any other person?
The true way to living your life is to collect learning from all who are willing to share and then tailor it as per your life.
When you want to be associated with your parent/parents through their credits. You get associated with their responsibilities too. It is neither justified for you to get the blame nor is it ok for you to take the commendation. You can do your best for yourself and other people including your parent/parents only when you give yourself a fair chance to explore your true potential where the influence, support, input from the external source and your own contribution is just optimum. Your experience and action have to be a conglomeration of all that. When you live your life with these self-definitions then you are performing at your highest potential and you are most productive.
You don’t need to start learning everything you require from the basics or from the scratch. However, you will need to take mindful enough to know and decide what to consider and what to let go.
You will never be your father. You will never be your mother. You can only be your own self. You only have the option of either loving, forgiving and/or being grateful to your parent(s).
You are your own person.
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034