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#METOOforpeople

#metoo movement for both men and women.

#metooforpeople

#metooforpeople #metooformenandwomen #metooforall
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IADlife Next chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/10/12/metooforpeople

Dear Friend

#metoo is being discussed in many forums. My request is all who wish to discuss any situation happening in their lives, please contact me. Take professional help and heal.

If you have any general views please share here.

These are my views.

Abuse of any kind is limiting. Workplace or home. It is limiting and it kills creativity.

What is amazing is that in the #metoo movement focus is on women. Victim, survivors or thrivers. They are getting the support or the blame. What about men. Kevin Spacey was charged for molesting a man/boy/male.

My understanding is two-fold.

One, people do because they can. If they get away with it once, they will do it again. If for any reason they were not stopped they try again with the same person or with someone with a similar demeanor.

Second, every abuser has been abused, has an abuser in their life or has witnessed someone close being abused. It is not an excuse. But, it helps in finding out the cause. Men are abused too. Branden Frazer was groped. He felt so humiliated, that sent him to a self-exile from movies for a long time.

But we know about them because these men spoke up, came forward.

If we all can collectively talk about humans or people instead of only women, then the root cause can be addressed.

#metooforpeople #metooformenandwomen

Talking about abuse can take time because of the mental programming. Guilt, fear, anger, blame – all towards self.

I am grateful that some speak up because others who still can’t are looking at them for the possible solutions. I believe these are strong people too. They give me a sense of security and live, thrive and function creatively.

The next abuser in the making will think twice.

The bystanders are the secondary victims. They go through the trauma without going through the actual abuse. But, they react as if they are there. So in not supporting or forcing someone else to keep quiet, is what they are doing to themselves. Because that’s how helpless they see their situation as.
They need to know that collectively they can find solutions. Shoving under the rug has never achieved any benefits.

Can’t support, can’t help, can’t contribute optimistically then, their silence and getting out of the way us much appreciated.

I promote men and women to come forward and take their case to the relevant groups and find solutions.

Judging or being judgemental towards the authenticity of their situation is an individual choice. It is very true, is at a case by case basis.

I support men and women who speak out, some write and I also support the some who want to remain clandestine. Only request is all that seek professional help and heal. Move forward and prosper. It is only then that we are all in a better position to support ourselves and others.

Thank you for reading, Reena Yadav, IADLife

#metooforpeople #metooformenandwomen

#corporate #organization #corporateworkshop #corporate #supportforCorporate #supportforindividual

#deservinglife #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

​Reena Yadav

Life Coach, Author, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife

+91-80-42188074, +91-9886077034

Email: iadlife.welfare@gmail.com

Official website: www.IADLife.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/IADLife

IADLifeChapters: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/

Twitter: @IADLife

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prosperity converts

Prosperity converts jealousy into admiration and inspiration.

prosperity converts

IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/09/28/prosperity-converts

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Dear Friend

Prosperity converts jealousy into admiration and inspiration. Case study: ‘C’ had a puppy love with her college sweetheart. Both had the same circle of friends. When ‘C’ and her boyfriend started to getting involved, two of their friends teased her and told secrets about her boyfriend in a way that seemed like it was deliberately meant to demotivate her from the relationship and dissuading her to take the relationship forward. Each teasing was accompanied with an undertone of, ‘buts.’ Her boyfriend, on the other hand, was getting information about ‘C’ that she had low confidence, she isn’t that great in her subject, and she gets into fights with boys. There were comments at her personal level too like, her parents were quite conservative and she had not told he parents yet. It was hurtful to ‘C’. However, when ‘C’ and her boyfriend met she was particularly mindful of talking only about hopeful things about the future and the relationship. As they all graduated everyone moved into different directions in the area of study, career and different parts of the world. When the social networking sites came into the picture, some of her friends decided to connect. ‘C’ responded in acceptance. ‘C’ had two sons, and was working in a corporate and was married to her same college boyfriend. On knowing this, the same friends who were unsupportive started speaking about her in a new tune. Her friends wrote on the group message how they were inspired by her. How she created a life she always desired. One friend messaged, ‘you made it.’ Her fight with boys now became her ability to speak her mind, her grades that were low was now being seen as irrelevant and that she always knew that her excellence would reflect in productivity and progress at her job. What seemed to be her low confidence was interpreted as her certainty in direction and therefore she did not need to be vociferous about it. She was being admired for the respect she had for her parents. According to one the naysayer friend, ‘that was the reason she wanted to share about her boyfriend with her parents only if she was very sure about her relationship with him.’ It was ‘C’s’ prosperity in life that had changed everyone’s viewpoint. It had created an expansion in the mindset to see with evidence what is possible. Such plausibility removes the resistance which had surfaced as a mark of unachievability, and which had been causing the jealousy and thus was responsible for the spurting of the disaffirmations.    This applies to your attitude towards your life too. When there is profit, benefit or gain from the very life experiences you have been self-criticising, self-blaming and getting stressed or upset about, with yourself and/or others, you will now be able to see it in a new light. Feelings of hate or hurt towards it will now convert into something light and pleasurable. All this is the magic of prosperity. You become more allowing towards yourself. The experiences that once seemed as your blockage now become the path or a stepping stone for desire manifestation. So when there is trouble, still keep going. Don’t let it be a reason or an excuse to stop. In retrospect, you will be able to see the essence of the trouble and will go down in memory lane as another life experience.

#prosperity #jealousyintoadmiration #prosperityconverts

#corporate #organization #corporateworkshop #corporate #supportforCorporate #supportforindividual

#deservinglife #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

​Reena Yadav

Life Coach, Author, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife

+91-80-42188074, +91-9886077034

Email: iadlife.welfare@gmail.com

Official website: www.IADLife.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/IADLife

IADLifeChapters: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/

Twitter: @IADLife

Instagram: iad_life

Corporate Burnout – fact or misnomer

Corporate Burnout – a fact or a generalised misnomer?
CB

Corporate Burnout – a fact or a generalised misnomer?
IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/08/27/corporate-burnout-fact-or-misnomer
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Dear Friend,
One of the reasons people want to use this term is because they seem to agree that it is, in fact, a ‘Corporate Burnout.’
My understanding of ‘Corporate Burnout’ is that it is the forefront of something else that is happening in the background.

What according to you is corporate burnout?
I have fifteen years of work experience in corporate and then I started my own firm, IADLife. My experiences in the corporate are the first-hand conventional example of what people call as corporate burnout.
Truthfully I don’t know that corporate burnout is what it can be called because even then I didn’t think that I was somebody who had utilised all the life experiences, skills, and opportunities in order to say that I had the possibility of a burnout.
I thought there is more to do. There is more I am supposed to do, and there is more that can be done.
I now understand after talking to many people and going through my own self-healing process, that this cannot be called corporate burnout. It is absolutely something else which is defining, dictating and promoting such a thought. It is easier for you to communicate the already established term, rather than actually trying to explain what your situation is.
Because once you start explaining, A. It takes a long time B. It may have personal reasons attached to it which you may not be ready, willing or comfortable sharing/mentioning and C. You are not sure if the other person is really interested.
Unless and until you have utilised all of your time and space on this planet to work during your work years, you cannot say that you have burnt out or you have burned out.
Another fact to actually defining and putting a terminology or glossary to any of the situations is that it may or may not exactly be the term that you think is associated with that situation or description, for example, ‘Dry Ice.’

So what do you understand from corporate burnout information that you think you have and when you say that, ‘You know what! I think I have corporate burnout. How do I tackle this? Do I leave my job? Do I completely start something new?’
Let’s discuss that first.
The main reason or the causative agent of so-called ‘corporate burnout’ is stress. The synonym of this reason is tension. The main contributors to this are actually the misunderstanding and underestimation of self. You are self-critical and it is a way for you to try to take your attention away from an opinion that you have formed about yourself not knowing enough.
What you hear around you is the reflection of your own thoughts. That’s the reason you hear it regarding your work from someone else. It could be the people in the office or outside, whom you are in any way willing to listen to.
It could be somebody senior or junior at home, somebody who is related to you, not related to you, your peers, your friends, your neighbours, your colleagues, boss, somebody superior or influential to you and whom you are willing to pay heed to.
They start complying with your internal conversations in such a way that it starts telling you that, ‘You need to do more, you are not doing enough.’
But you are unclear where you are not doing enough and what more you need to do. This is the genesis of stress, suggesting you to give up and therefore the burnout.

Is the ‘corporate burnout’ to do with setting the expectations and guessing the kind of work that is expected in an organisation?
Yes, it could be. But this would be a very generalised suggestion. There need not be any guessing.
Instead of saying ‘work expected in an organisation’, I would say, work expected in that project, work expected on that particular day, work expected in that particular moment. You can decide on your expectation based on that.
As an example, a personnel is in a meeting and the person is expected to use his/her specific skills, quick thinking, creative mind and/or experiences from before. Suppose he/she has not able to do that in that meeting. Then, he/she has not done what is expected in that meeting only and not in the organisation. It cannot be a general term. It is situational. It is project based. It is discussion based. The moment you generalise it is then that you start putting in a part of your belief that, ‘you are not doing enough’ and ‘from what is being expected you are not able to contribute enough.’ Consequentially the growth stops or growth becomes really slow. It affects everything – growth, expansion, and exploring. And that affects skills, talents, input, quality, willingness, motivation, and energy levels. This is followed by blame game and excuses, such as ‘it is because of the traffic’, ‘it is very far from my home’, ‘the work hours are longer so there is no work-life balance’, ‘something is going on in my home’, ‘there are so many responsibilities’, ‘there is no compatibility in my team or office’, ‘my salary is such’, ‘the environment at the office is like that’, ‘people are too disturbing’, ‘everybody seems to have a different opinion’, ‘everybody is going in a different direction’ or ‘there is no decorum.’
As the attention diverts on to the blame there is no focus on the solution. There is stagnation in the same situation and accumulation of pent-up stress.
Next, you want to take time out. Say, fifteen days out and you go to maybe a family outing, a resort or explore your creativity, you would go for a photography conference, a movie conference or a comicon, that is anything that is light and that helps you in relieving the stress. It is possible that it will work. When you come back, you come back rejuvenated. I am sure you do.
But what happens is, if you are not addressing the reality behind the need for a break or so-called corporate burnout then, the fatigue, stress, and malaise come back. It is like you are refilling your lantern to reuse it but you are not cleaning the soot that is responsible for the excess fuel consumption. The lantern lights well. The fuel gets used up fast and it diminishes again.
This really could be solved by actually addressing what exactly is it that is stopping you from enjoying having a job of that position, that place, that particular company, and of that particular environment? What is keeping you from enjoying the money that you are getting from it? And yes, it is putting food on your table. You buy clothes with that. You pay your bills with that. The job provides interactions, exposure, and expansion of your skills. All are the irreplaceable and valuable experience. And, you are being paid to actually learn and practice your skills. How about that?

The solution is therefore in the action of you listing all the things that you already have because of this job.

What you have because of the job could be a benefit or a learning.
Benefits too, you may or may not see easily. These are the ones that give you pleasure.
Learning is in the hurt, pain, and discomfort. It might seem like all that causes frustration, irritation, is hurting you at that time. They basically hold a learning. The situations that are causing this are trying to tell you something. Something you need to change. These teach you what not to do and from that emerges what you could learn to do. For example an abusive communication teaches you that it is limiting and therefore being creative in communication would be motivating and that you deserve a respectful conversation. That is what you could be grateful for.
You may not see any point being in the situation at that time. However, if you try to run, escape or dodge from such a situation or experience, you need to know that you can run from people, you can run from a place but you cannot ever run from the learning. It will follow you in the form of similar life situations. These are called ‘patterns.’ Be it department, group, project or even organisation change. You may have the same situation recreating itself regardless of how many times you move. Unless you understand the real reason behind the discord and discontentment.
A pattern is a very proven reality and I have experienced it up close. I moved from one organisation to another and I actually saw that the pattern continued till I actually was willing to take that responsibility of understanding the situation and making the changes in my life.
By your willingness to address your situation you are also making changes at the organisation level and for that, you really will need to be at a place where people are really willing to hear you and for that, you have to be willing to hear your own self first.
The idea behind these actions is that it brings your focus more on what you have. Be mindful of not listing based on what others don’t have. It is not about the number of people that are unemployed but at-least you have a job or that, even though you deserve a better job but, because many others don’t have this kind of job, so you stick to the job. That’s not what you want for yourself. That practice really doesn’t work.
What is being suggested is that you could show gratitude for your achievements, available resources, experiences, and the path traveled. This could help you know that you are doing enough.

Where does the change start?
Is it much more difficult to blame your own self?
Most importantly it is not about blame at all. When you start realising that you are the person who can take responsibility for an unappealing situation, it might seem immediately or just initially that every single person other than you is responsible for that situation. You would want them to change.
When you start taking responsibility of your situation and you start saying, ‘ok, so what can I do differently from yesterday so that my today will be different and tomorrow will be more enhanced and more like the way I want it to be?’
You could find resources to enhance your skills, improve your health, and add fun in life. You can start with a very simple step. Make changes in your words. Say what you actually WANT and DESIRE, rather than words based on what impression the past has left on you.
All this will take all the focus and energy away from other people and bring it towards your own self. You will find less time to be critical and eventually become more loving and be respecting towards yourself. And when your focus is channeled towards you, it is only then that you get clear on the REAL situation and you get REAL solutions.

What are the specific solutions and reality checks that are needed to make you realise that it is not others but it is you that has to take responsibilities for it? How do you work it out? Do you try and manage the time better? Do you try and feel better about the kind of expectation has been put over you?

This is all case by case basis. If I say that you have to take responsibility, it may show more of strictness there. The emphasis, therefore, is on the information that, you can take responsibility for your situation. There is the big difference between saying – ‘you are responsible’ vis-à-vis ‘you could take responsibility.’
The whole vibration changes the moment you say, you could take responsibility because that indicates that you have the skill, support and the power to change your own situation.
You are doing enough and you have all the skills and all the talent but because of your stress level, you are not enjoying the reciprocation, the accolades and other good things that are coming as a feedback to your efforts. Because you yourself are so self-critical that you are not able to see that you did a great job and you say something to the contrary, ‘I could have done this better.’ The appreciation doesn’t stop coming, it is you who has stopped receiving.
When you take the responsibility, the way it will work is that your self-criticism will lessen or stop, as the first indication. The next thing will be, you will start being more kind and more loving towards yourself. Every single thing in this world is based on communication, whether your communication is within yourself or the communication is outside yourself. So, whether you are communicating with yourself or you are communicating with the world outside, the communication becomes very-very clear. There is no basis and therefore no space for arguments. When there is no argument then there is no anger, fear, frustration, or irritation. Only creative ideas are going to flow and the only thing that is going to happen is that it is going to enhance your career, project, interaction and the organisation where you are working. You are able to start viewing clearly what is happening in your organisation, in the place around you, with people, with the project, with yourself and in their life. You will now start noticing every single good thing that is happening in your workspace.

Do Organisations themselves also need to incorporate certain measures, some amount of intervention to take care of their employees and keep them from giving up, quitting, leaving?
What do you say an organisation is? An organisation is a non-living entity. When you are hurting and you seek solution it is a person to whom you will walk up to. An employee walks up to an HR and says that ‘I am not taking another day of the stress and I am quitting.’ To the employee, it might seem that he/she is saying it to the organization. But what he/she needs to know is that the organisation may not be affected. Organisation per say is a huge entity and it encompasses a lot of other people many of them are happy, some people are not happy, some people are medium happy and some people are happy at certain percentages.
The point here is that every single person could take that responsibility of changing something in their life.
What the organisation can do to promote this situation is to actually hire us. IADLife can talk to the employees and educate them on this aspect. IADLife has a scientific basis for explaining and addressing the right issues. Our job at IADLife is to bridge the gap between the employees and the managers. When people work in association with each other, in collaboration with each other, in helpfulness on each other it is then that the projects prosper and the organisation actually blooms.
The organisation, of course, has to take the responsibility so that they can reduce attrition, they can actually promote people to stay and be called as the best place for the employee.
As every single person starts contributing to their own progress can you imagine the multitude of the progress that will happen?
It is more profitable that way, rather than giving that responsibility to a selected few in an organisation like managers who already have enough on their plate with their own set of organizational responsibilities and importantly they are not part of corporate burnout. They are the ones who are climbing the organizational ladders. So, why would they be concerned about something like attrition? They would be concerned about getting their work done and they expect this to organisation’s responsibility to get the right person. Their job is to take the organisation forward, solving an employee’s issues is not in their profile. This is an extra responsibility, and people will keep shifting the blame, people will keep shifting the responsibilities because the fact of the matter is that these people are already doing their jobs which they are assigned for.
This is a gigantic and an important job to take care of everybody that there cannot be one person responsible for everybody. Every single person could take the responsibility of changing each of their lives and just by changing their own lives they are basically changing the life of the whole organisation. Guidance and support will come from IADLife and the organization.
This is how you are supposed to move forward and we are making people self-reliant. Isn’t that what an organization is looking for? Skilled people, talented people, creative people who are willing to take responsibility and thus comes loyalty, sincerity and willingness to actually support each other, stand by each other regardless of what the situation is, whether it is difficulty in projects, whether it is working in the weekends, whether it is taking care of somebody else’s house matters.

Now everything flows.

Note of Thanks:
I am truly thankful to Nishtha Sabharwal, Chief Copyright Editor from the Economics Times for the topic and for the questions that contributed in the flow of the article.

#corporateburnout #misnomer #changestartswithself #corporate #organization #corporateworkshop #corporate #supportforCorporate

#deservinglife #grateful #thankyou #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach

#reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
Life Coach, Writer, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife landline +91 80- 42188074
IADLife.com
www.facebook.com/IADLife
Twitter: @IADLife
Instagram: iad_life

Why take counselling

Why take counselling sessions? – Wednesday Why?

why take counselling.jpg
IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/why-take-counselling
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Dear Friend!

Wednesday’s Why? Why take counselling?

Why indeed! Because you don’t need to do it all by yourself.

My previous job was in corporate. During one of the coffee break, I met a colleague in the pantry and he started sharing his life situations. Even then in one conversation, it was very clear to me that he and his wife both needed help. A few years later when I started IADLife. I sent him an email about my IADLife job profile and suggested him to take healing sessions. To that, he replied, “Thanks for the information regarding your new venture. I am sorry this one is not for me. I am into an age group where if I cannot manage my life’s challenges, then it would be a shame! I am at peace with myself. Thanks, but no thanks. Best of luck with your new venture.” When suggested to take help does not imply that you unable. It only means that you are fortunate enough to attract and receive the help that is right for you. This is a form of delegation. This is a service that is provided to you for you.

I have great regards for people who take that step.

Counsellors are teachers who will understand from your energy, behaviour and your own verbal admittance of your life situation. The counsellor will then share with you the knowledge that will help change that. If you think you are stuck or if you see yourself doing just fine, in both conditions the counsellors act as a light bearer to show you the path to enhance your life. Having the counsellor that is right or best for you is the matter of great honor and privilege.

Many have been existing with the thinking that taking help is for the weak. That thinking is now ingrained so deep within the consciousness that it has gotten transformed into a belief. A rule that they believe in and cannot defy. Regardless of how dire their situation, they try to use the methods of the strong-armed people whom they have seen as a success and emulate a solution of your consideration. You certainly mean well. It might even seem to work sometimes but there are going to be backlashes and the situation gets worse. At other times it keeps you trapped in the same situation.

Not taking support is not brave.

Counselling is a healing solution for you to change or enhance something in your life. It is a non-judgemental space. In this space, you can give yourself permission to get clear about what you are actually going through. The real picture of what is really happening in your space. This is a safe space where you allow yourself to see the blame, the mistakes, the errors, the faults, and the blunders of your own self and that of others without prejudice. All this under the expert and unbiased supervision of a counsellor.

You are not meant to be in pain or confusion, nor are you supposed to merely survive while you are here on the planet. You are meant to thrive.

To further help you get comfortable with counselling, let us understand counselling and its aspects.

What is counselling?

Counselling is a conversation between two willing parties. One of which is the expert who holds the answers and the other is the one that is seeking answers and has the important part of the healing that is ‘the question.’

Difference between counselling and life coaching.

Counselling is independent sessions. They can be one or more than one. They can be with the same counsellor or a different one. Life coaching is a set of sessions booked with the same coach/counsellor based on their guidance. Both are useful. Counselling gives you a choice on the number of sessions and the counsellor. Life coaching allows you to observe the healing trajectory with help from the same counsellor who has been with you through your healing journey.

About the counsellors.

Counsellors counsel that is they advise, guide, direct, recommend what is in your benefit. They sometimes use healing techniques like tapping, mirror-work, hypnotherapy and/or energy healing that what will support in solving, will bring you at ease, make you comfortable, happy, safe and/or prosperous.

Counsellors are meant to be on your side. When you get that, the interaction is in alignment in terms of delayering, information sharing in quota & type, language, and connection. You will feel light, calm and good after each session. Till you find the alignment you will find it challenging, frustrating and uncomfortable as it is pushing you out of your core beliefs.

Taking the counselling requires a very important ingredient and that is ‘your willingness.’ Interestingly the willingness of the counsellor to accept you as a client is also important.

Which is a counsellor for you?

When you decide to take help and support to solve your life situation, you get suggestions, recommendations, or you do your own search through various databases and search engines. You jot down the contact details of the counsellors. You sort out the counsellor that you wish to contact according to their expertise and testimonials. You see which one aligns with you and your needs the most. You fix an appointment and you take a session. If for any reason you see yourself feeling unsafe, humiliated, repressed, controlled or misguided, you can decide not to go for the next session or you can even choose to walk out. Get clear about what you did not like about the session. Sincere advice is that you do not stop your healing. Look for another counsellor.

Cost, time invested and transportation are important. However, it is a kind request that you ask and go for the counsellor that is best for you.

What are you supposed to do?

You may ask your friend, acquaintance or family to accompany you to the venue. Get clear about the procedure and protocol. This is so that you can take care of the logistics, get comfortable and focus on the session booked for you. Have questions, ask and get the answers. Do not question or challenge the expert. Asking questions is you clearing doubts and gaining understanding. Questioning is you doubting your own self and all that you have attracted in your life. Keep an open mind. Remember that the session is for you and is about you. Everything is verbal and there is no force. Allow yourself to be at ease. Avoid comparing the counsellor or the benefit, changes or progress made by or seen in others. Do not try to make it about anyone else. Show respect, be respectful, of yourself and the counsellor. You don’t need to impress the counsellor. At the end of the session, review – did you get the answers? Did you feel safe? Would you like to come back? If not, then the reason has to connected to you, it has to be ‘you oriented.’

Fixing the counselling.

Self-booking a session works as much as being booked by others. Once the session is booked you need to turn up.

We had a client who booked life coaching for her brother as life coaching as a gift. You can decide to sponsor session or sessions for others or ask for sponsors.

Before you decide or refuse, you require the following information about COUNSELLING. What is counselling? Why take counselling? Why is counselling important?  Do that work or even for that you can take help from a counsellor.

The decision is always yours.

Your healing is your responsibility. You may choose to take it now or move the decision to a later date. My suggestion is you start today.

The counsellor’s responsibility is to turn up, be there for you and give you the solutions from their best knowledge base. Somtimes counsellor may refer you to other counsellors for their reasons like they could be going on a holiday, they need expertise of another counsellor or they are not comfortable. Choice again is yours to agree to take sessions with the new counsellor.

 

Professional Counselling is a service provided by the healing industry. It requires resource investments. Time, money, energy and willingness.

 

Counselling is completely confidential. Some counsellors tape or make notes of the conversation to write the case studies for records or for research purposes. This happens after they take consent from the client.

Counsellors are not allowed to discuss case studies in public and they won’t. They are NOT gossip mongers.

Regardless of what treatment or healing process you decide to accept, the only way to establish faith in the process is by knowing about the what, when, why of the situation and then taking the continual action suggested. It has been found to be most effective. However, if you have enough faith and understanding of what you are following then, you can directly go for the processes.

My own counselling experience.

My own reality was as follows. I had been attending some workshops that were meant to make sense of the misses and losses in my life. I lost my right arm in a road traffic accident, I failed my exam that was meant to give a career after being an amputee, I lost my parents one after another then, I was laid off from a job that was supporting me in having grace and security in my life. I was doing all that I had gotten habitual doing. Hide and avoid/dodge people, blame and complain to myself and to the people who were in my space. I was stressed all the time and it was affecting my appearance, performances, and interactions. I was doing my best to hide it. I put on weight, had frequent migraines and was crying and was angry all the time. Upon that when someone or anyone pointed out that I looked stressed or tensed that, would trigger another level of anger on my inability to cover my problems in my life.

One mid-day a friend also neighbour called me in the office where I was working as a Bioinformatics scientist and requested me to do a background research on a counsellor. She suggested that if she wanted I could book the session for her. I did my bit and while I dialed the number of the counsellor I said to myself, ‘I need help too.’ When the counsellor picked up the call I booked for two sessions, one was for me.

Taking that step hugely mattered. I gradually trusted myself sharing my information with an expert and developed my willingness to hear that expert.

All the healing work that I was doing had now started to make sense.

A few years later I started IADLife. Today I am myself a trained life coach. Through my company, I decided to connect and collaborate with other counsellors and life coaches from all over India to bring to you the healing solutions that are best suited for you.

 

I highly recommend counselling sessions for all. Even when you think you have reached the edge of the planet and there is no way forward or if you think you are doing great, take counselling. You will be surprised how much you can achieve through comprehensive speaking and listing. The more you are open and you allow yourself, the quicker you will reach the next step, which is more creativity, productivity, health, and happiness.

 

Counselling is meant for the development of confident self-reliance and not fearful or insecure dependencies.

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#healing #counsellor #lifeCoach

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Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife.com
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What is in a term?- Nepotism

What’s in a term? – Nepotism.

what is in a term-nepotism
IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/07/22/what-is-in-a-term-nepotism
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Dear friend!

What is in a term? NepotismCase Study: Client: “Some people in my workplace look down on nepotism? I got my job on a recommendation. I just take it as if they are commenting on me. Maybe they are maybe they are not, but I feel low when I don’t have anything to contribute to this topic. How do I make myself feel better? I really need this job.”Counsellor: Get clear about what does this term mean for you. Clearly, the meaning of the term that you have adapted from others is in the same lines as your colleagues you are mentioning. These others are your caregivers, your friends or teachers that you trusted. Now create your own meaning. You have been told some points about ‘nepotism’. It goes against the stringent thinking connected to ‘earning what you receive.’ Until you get clear with your definition, be open to hearing new definitions from others. Here is my personal definition and viewpoint of the term or the action called ‘nepotism.’I am personally a big fan of ‘nepotism.’ According to my personal understanding ‘nepotism’ is defined as a recommendation for someone, based on who you want to extend the support or help. I believe it is not meant to climb the stairs or walk all the way to the top. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. Taking the elevator or an escalator is the help or an opportunity. Accepting the opportunity and doing your bit to contribute at a level that you need to contribute is your responsibility. Once you have the opportunity to reach till a certain place on your way to the top, from there surviving, excelling, and your productivity is on you. If you have the opportunity to be at a certain level and you accept that but, you have fear or guilt thoughts regarding the acceptance of the opportunity then, you may not fair/do well or do justice with the opportunity provided and you may lose the opportunity. Any company, business, project or task to move forward successfully it requires to be productive. For that, it requires productive people to be involved in it. That is right or even the best people for it. If you have been chosen, you must be the right fit in the final tapestry/picture.If an opportunity has been presented to you that means you are ready for it. You contemplating its social ethics and second-guessing is you showing self-doubt and this is complete lack of gratitude.When you show doubt in your readiness or preparedness to receive what comes with accepting of the opportunity, it is then that you receive the bad appraisals, jealous comments or adverse comments regarding you or of cases similar to you. These are a reflection of your thinking.  If according to you, you are failing or not good enough for the job then, it only means that your energy, focus, care, and attention is more on others.It is time to bring that energy, focus, care, and attention to you. Do what you have accepted the opportunity to do. Stop looking for approval from anyone else. First, give all that approval that you are seeking to your achievement of receiving the opportunity and to the opportunity itself. This you can do by celebrating and by working hard and smart to prove yourself in the job. Understanding what the hirer goes through with nepotism could also help. So, now what about people who have been thrust into a situation where they HAVE to hire someone through recommendation or because of nepotism? Sa a hirer, if you are open to giving them a chance to see how they perform in the job or if you have had good experiences attracting the right resources then, you would just look forward to their contribution. If you are not aligned with the decision and it is a forceful one then it will require a lot of evidence for you to be convinced that the person hired is the right choice. If you are certain that this person who has come through nepotism is not the right choice then, find out whether this opinion of yours is ‘job-oriented’ or ‘person oriented.’ If you care about the job that needs to get done then, shift the energy, focus, care, and attention to all that is getting done. If the good/important chunk of work still needs to be done then if you can, hire another person to do the rest. If your lack of acceptability is  ‘person oriented’ then, find out what about the person do you not like. It is the characteristics within you that you need or you wish to change. So work on that. Get comfortable and get the work done.  With all this knowledge about nepotism, both parties and from both sides, get to work. Be it a network, pull, connections, or inheritance, it is all yours. Allow this help. Give permission for these opportunities to enter your space. What happens next, how do you manage, and how you express your creative ideas is entirely up to you. Aim to do well there and go above that.

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#acceptingopprtunity #aimhigher
#nepotismisopportunityprovided #forcefulhire

#affirmation #fastmanifestation #affirmwithgratitude #ask #deservinglife #grateful #thankyou #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach

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Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
Life Coach, Writer, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
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HealingWithGratitude

IADLife ‘Great Minds Group’ WhatsApp Activity.  Start Date: August 1st, 2018. Duration: 1 Month.

Aug18GMGactivity_2

IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/07/18/aug18gmgactivity

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August workshop has been divided into two groups.

Group A: topics covered are Gratitude. This group will have 28 days + 3 days of exercises and instructions of the ‘The Magic’ Practice based on the book with the same name. Group A will be guided with the Gratitude practice only. How to carry out the exercise and all the questions pertaining to the Gratitude exercise is going to be addressed.

The cost is INR/Rs 1500/-.

Group B: topics Covered are Gratitude and Prosperity. This group will have 28 days + 3 days of exercises and instructions of the ‘The Magic’ Practice based on the book with the same name by Rhonda Bryne. Along with that, there is an additional topic of Prosperity that will be integrated in the 1-month practice and the group members will be counseled where ever requested.

Gratitude: members of group B will be guided with the Gratitude practice. How to carry out the exercise and all the questions pertaining to the Gratitude exercise is going to be addressed.

Prosperity: Members of group B will also be given an online course on prosperity. What is prosperity? Do you think you have enough of the prosperity? Recognising and removing prosperity blockages. Understanding the true meaning of prosperity.  Counseling will be given on life situations with solutions encompassing gratitude and prosperity. In case the solutions are other than these two topics then, a personal one on one sessions will be suggested.

The cost is INR/Rs 3000/-.

Registration has three steps:

(1) Sharing your WhatsApp number and confirming.

(2) Transferring cost through net banking, Paypal, depositing money to IADLife bank a/c.

(3) Informing IADLife of the transfer.

Upon that, your name will be added in the IADlife GMG group.

For details please write to us at WhatsApp number +919886077034, Call us at landline +91 80 42188074.

Do share with all who think can benefit.

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We are also on twitter @IADLife Instagram: iad_life

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Why un-forgiveness persist

Why does un-forgiveness persist? – Wednesday Why?

WHY un-forgiveness persist
IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/07/03/why-un-forgiveness-persist
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Dear Friend!

Some forgiveness happens immediately. Some happen a little later. In rest of the cases or situations, un-forgiveness prevails seemingly forever.

What are the circumstances, situations or conditions because of which you are able to forgive? In absence of these, the forgiveness does not happen.

Is it your likeness for the person, thing or situation? Is the likeness for an attribute or characteristics like beauty, speech, gesture? This could be of the person who is relative, lover, spouse, friend, acquaintance or even a stranger.
Is it that you see it as having no other choice? Is it the job you need, indispensable relationship, social obligation or fear of missing out?

If it is any of these reasons then you are not really forgiving. You are ‘shoving under the rug.’ Next time ‘the hurt’ or something similar to ‘the hurt’ cross your path all the unresolved un-forgiveness accumulates and surfaces.

When forgiveness does not happen immediately you tend to subject yourself to live and re-live the hurtful life situations again and again, in order to have an opportunity to prove yourself, perform, react, and to respond better.

When un-forgiveness persists for long it becomes a habit.

Each un-forgiven life situation remains with you. It eventually and very seamlessly becomes a part of your behaviour and expression.

Anger, irritation, and frustration that you feel for something minuscule is the piled up un-forgiveness. It can be for someone you like/love or for a complete stranger.

*Un-forgiveness keeps you from moving forward.

*Un-forgiveness keeps you from manifesting your desires and is responsible for manifesting what you don’t desire. That is because you are first and foremost unclear about what you want. Un-forgiveness is responsible for that and so you miscommunicate what you want.

*Un-forgiveness keeps you from forming a connection with your inner-self, higher-self, and other high vibrational entities- God, Angels, Source, Universe, Life. Un-forgiveness thus is responsible for misinterpreting the communication that you receive.

All the past data stored in you, that includes the data on un-forgiveness, determine your present and future life experiences. All the past un-forgiveness define your reaction in the present and this keeps you stuck in past.

To free yourself of the past hurt(s) you need to clearly and truly forgive. For that, you need to have a clear understanding of forgiveness.

What is ‘forgiveness’ for you? How does ‘forgiveness’ look like to you? ‘Forgiveness’ has to be about you. It cannot be with something that happens with someone other than you. Because if it is to do with something that happens with anyone else, it may bring transitional relief but ultimately there is no benefit for you in the long run.

Definition of forgiveness that was mentioned in Oprah’s life class from an audience member was, “forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.”

However, the present is your responsibility and you need to keep yourself from attracting such situations that are liable to cause un-forgiveness, in your life. You have to be mindful of recognising all the un-forgiveness, however subtle they are and work on releasing them.
For every situation – ‘What did you not like in the situation? Make a note.’

How do you know that you have forgiven? When you notice your anger, irritation and frustration level coming down. When you can laugh at the life-situation that would have otherwise offended and enraged you. When you are calm, indifferent or non-reactant towards the same life-situation that had earlier triggered a reaction that was not fun.

Actual permanent forgiveness happens when you are willing to find out what is it about the hurt that you are actually supposed to forgive and who is it that you are supposed to truly forgive?  Invariably, every analysis and every de-layering will take you or point you to your own self.

It will point you to something within you that you wish to change. Something in your life that you have yet to achieve. Something as in an action that you wish you had done differently.

Recognising that is the initiation of the forgiveness. Taking that action for which you are holding un-forgiveness towards yourself or an alternate action is what will get you that forgiveness.

Case Studies that explain how forgiveness was implemented.

Case Study 1:

“F was dumped by his two girlfriends back to back. In both relationships, his girlfriend moved on to their next relationship and he saw it as if he was being treated as invisible. His initial un-forgiveness was of course towards both his girlfriends. On realisation that he had not been clearly saying what he truly wanted in his relationships. When situations were tough or rough in each relationship instead of dealing with it, he would wish that it takes care of itself and would go silent. But, because of his belief in loyalty, it was a compulsion for him to stay in the relationship rather than clearly communicating that he was unhappy about a certain aspect. As a result, he asked and he made himself invisible in both relationships. As a process of forgiveness, the action he now needed to take was to say words that would clearly convey what he truly desires in his relationships and be willing to be present and even face a life situation and take responsibility of his actions.”

Case Study 2:

“C was taking out her trash. She wanted to convey to the person in charge of collecting the garbage, that there were sharp edges in the cardboard she was disposing of. She said what she could, using her acquired knowledge of the local language. The guy replied saying something that she understood was impolite. Whether he said it in his way of being friendly or was being plain rude, C replied by giving a smile and slightly thrusting her tongue out expressing her incapability to reply. Her reaction was to get the work done.

Initially, she was upset with the guy. But her actual un-forgiveness was towards herself because she was badgering herself in her mind for not learning the language in spite of being in the town for long and because she saw herself unable to stand up for herself. She could choose to learn the language to attain the fluency needed and she could respond by asking clearly what was being told or if she understands and does not like the conversation she could say so right there to that person.”

Case Study 3:

“H realised that the summer was getting over in a week and his assignment that was due for submission was no were near completion. He has started but he did not complete for other engagements kept coming in his way. He was troubled that he was not disciplined and dedicated enough to respect his timetable and therefore could not get that from others. He could stay annoyed at all that had pulled him away from his assignment completion or he could get to work. He could resume his assignment and then set the schedule and timelines.”

Do remember forgiveness is not justifying what does not seem right. Forgiveness is making way for greatest and highest in everything that you deserve. Because it is a deserving life.

Forgiveness can also be pending when you see the need to ask for forgiveness from someone other than yourself. Un-forgiveness persists when you see yourself having done wrong. Here recognising that you could have done something differently or what you could do differently is expedited, as the focus on self-comes sooner.

Case Study 4:

Case Study: “J took his mother to a dentist. Everyone from the receptionist to the dentist was very polite the clinic was very hi-tech. The dentist when attending to his mother was very chatty and J could see that the dentist’s techniques were making his mother very uncomfortable. J continued to reply to the chat keeping one eye on his mother. He did not stop the doctor or ask his mother if she wanted the procedure to continue. After the clinic visit, J’s mother complained that her lower gums were numb and she was uncomfortable. J felt guilty of not speaking up on behalf of his mother and not stopping the dentist who was conversing too much during the procedure.

To get the forgiveness and feel being forgiven, him apologising is only the first step. He also needs to acknowledge to himself that he needs to get over the formalities and speak up anytime there is an uncomfortable situation where he is involved.”

The depth and magnanimity of the hurt are not proportional to the time it takes for the un-forgiveness to convert to forgiveness.  It is your willingness to get to the action that you need to acknowledge and take, that determines how soon the un-forgiveness dissipates.

Harboring un-forgiveness till the other person can say ‘sorry’ may not get you to the forgiveness state. You need to be in the forgiveness state to receive it. That depends on how much you are willing to solve the matter. This also applies to where you see the need to apologise and have been waiting for the approval that follows.

Recognising, acknowledging and willing to or possibly actually taking action by you is the only way.

 

#lookwithin #takeaction #wednesdayswhy #lifeswhyanswered #takingresponsibility #forgiveness #unforgivenesspersists #affirming #Blog #Author #writer
#healing #counsellor #lifeCoach

#reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife.com
www.facebook.com/IADLife
Twitter: @IADLife
Instagram: iad_life