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Why take counselling

Why take counselling sessions? – Wednesday Why?

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IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/07/20/why-take-counselling
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Dear Friend!

Wednesday’s Why? Why take counselling?

Why indeed! Because you don’t need to do it all by yourself.

My previous job was in corporate. During one of the coffee break, I met a colleague in the pantry and he started sharing his life situations. Even then in one conversation, it was very clear to me that he and his wife both needed help. A few years later when I started IADLife. I sent him an email about my IADLife job profile and suggested him to take healing sessions. To that, he replied, “Thanks for the information regarding your new venture. I am sorry this one is not for me. I am into an age group where if I cannot manage my life’s challenges, then it would be a shame! I am at peace with myself. Thanks, but no thanks. Best of luck with your new venture.” When suggested to take help does not imply that you unable. It only means that you are fortunate enough to attract and receive the help that is right for you. This is a form of delegation. This is a service that is provided to you for you.

I have great regards for people who take that step.

Counsellors are teachers who will understand from your energy, behaviour and your own verbal admittance of your life situation. The counsellor will then share with you the knowledge that will help change that. If you think you are stuck or if you see yourself doing just fine, in both conditions the counsellors act as a light bearer to show you the path to enhance your life. Having the counsellor that is right or best for you is the matter of great honor and privilege.

Many have been existing with the thinking that taking help is for the weak. That thinking is now ingrained so deep within the consciousness that it has gotten transformed into a belief. A rule that they believe in and cannot defy. Regardless of how dire their situation, they try to use the methods of the strong-armed people whom they have seen as a success and emulate a solution of your consideration. You certainly mean well. It might even seem to work sometimes but there are going to be backlashes and the situation gets worse. At other times it keeps you trapped in the same situation.

Not taking support is not brave.

Counselling is a healing solution for you to change or enhance something in your life. It is a non-judgemental space. In this space, you can give yourself permission to get clear about what you are actually going through. The real picture of what is really happening in your space. This is a safe space where you allow yourself to see the blame, the mistakes, the errors, the faults, and the blunders of your own self and that of others without prejudice. All this under the expert and unbiased supervision of a counsellor.

You are not meant to be in pain or confusion, nor are you supposed to merely survive while you are here on the planet. You are meant to thrive.

To further help you get comfortable with counselling, let us understand counselling and its aspects.

What is counselling?

Counselling is a conversation between two willing parties. One of which is the expert who holds the answers and the other is the one that is seeking answers and has the important part of the healing that is ‘the question.’

Difference between counselling and life coaching.

Counselling is independent sessions. They can be one or more than one. They can be with the same counsellor or a different one. Life coaching is a set of sessions booked with the same coach/counsellor based on their guidance. Both are useful. Counselling gives you a choice on the number of sessions and the counsellor. Life coaching allows you to observe the healing trajectory with help from the same counsellor who has been with you through your healing journey.

About the counsellors.

Counsellors counsel that is they advise, guide, direct, recommend what is in your benefit. They sometimes use healing techniques like tapping, mirror-work, hypnotherapy and/or energy healing that what will support in solving, will bring you at ease, make you comfortable, happy, safe and/or prosperous.

Counsellors are meant to be on your side. When you get that, the interaction is in alignment in terms of delayering, information sharing in quota & type, language, and connection. You will feel light, calm and good after each session. Till you find the alignment you will find it challenging, frustrating and uncomfortable as it is pushing you out of your core beliefs.

Taking the counselling requires a very important ingredient and that is ‘your willingness.’ Interestingly the willingness of the counsellor to accept you as a client is also important.

Which is a counsellor for you?

When you decide to take help and support to solve your life situation, you get suggestions, recommendations, or you do your own search through various databases and search engines. You jot down the contact details of the counsellors. You sort out the counsellor that you wish to contact according to their expertise and testimonials. You see which one aligns with you and your needs the most. You fix an appointment and you take a session. If for any reason you see yourself feeling unsafe, humiliated, repressed, controlled or misguided, you can decide not to go for the next session or you can even choose to walk out. Get clear about what you did not like about the session. Sincere advice is that you do not stop your healing. Look for another counsellor.

Cost, time invested and transportation are important. However, it is a kind request that you ask and go for the counsellor that is best for you.

What are you supposed to do?

You may ask your friend, acquaintance or family to accompany you to the venue. Get clear about the procedure and protocol. This is so that you can take care of the logistics, get comfortable and focus on the session booked for you. Have questions, ask and get the answers. Do not question or challenge the expert. Asking questions is you clearing doubts and gaining understanding. Questioning is you doubting your own self and all that you have attracted in your life. Keep an open mind. Remember that the session is for you and is about you. Everything is verbal and there is no force. Allow yourself to be at ease. Avoid comparing the counsellor or the benefit, changes or progress made by or seen in others. Do not try to make it about anyone else. Show respect, be respectful, of yourself and the counsellor. You don’t need to impress the counsellor. At the end of the session, review – did you get the answers? Did you feel safe? Would you like to come back? If not, then the reason has to connected to you, it has to be ‘you oriented.’

Fixing the counselling.

Self-booking a session works as much as being booked by others. Once the session is booked you need to turn up.

We had a client who booked life coaching for her brother as life coaching as a gift. You can decide to sponsor session or sessions for others or ask for sponsors.

Before you decide or refuse, you require the following information about COUNSELLING. What is counselling? Why take counselling? Why is counselling important?  Do that work or even for that you can take help from a counsellor.

The decision is always yours.

Your healing is your responsibility. You may choose to take it now or move the decision to a later date. My suggestion is you start today.

The counsellor’s responsibility is to turn up, be there for you and give you the solutions from their best knowledge base. Somtimes counsellor may refer you to other counsellors for their reasons like they could be going on a holiday, they need expertise of another counsellor or they are not comfortable. Choice again is yours to agree to take sessions with the new counsellor.

 

Professional Counselling is a service provided by the healing industry. It requires resource investments. Time, money, energy and willingness.

 

Counselling is completely confidential. Some counsellors tape or make notes of the conversation to write the case studies for records or for research purposes. This happens after they take consent from the client.

Counsellors are not allowed to discuss case studies in public and they won’t. They are NOT gossip mongers.

Regardless of what treatment or healing process you decide to accept, the only way to establish faith in the process is by knowing about the what, when, why of the situation and then taking the continual action suggested. It has been found to be most effective. However, if you have enough faith and understanding of what you are following then, you can directly go for the processes.

My own counselling experience.

My own reality was as follows. I had been attending some workshops that were meant to make sense of the misses and losses in my life. I lost my right arm in a road traffic accident, I failed my exam that was meant to give a career after being an amputee, I lost my parents one after another then, I was laid off from a job that was supporting me in having grace and security in my life. I was doing all that I had gotten habitual doing. Hide and avoid/dodge people, blame and complain to myself and to the people who were in my space. I was stressed all the time and it was affecting my appearance, performances, and interactions. I was doing my best to hide it. I put on weight, had frequent migraines and was crying and was angry all the time. Upon that when someone or anyone pointed out that I looked stressed or tensed that, would trigger another level of anger on my inability to cover my problems in my life.

One mid-day a friend also neighbour called me in the office where I was working as a Bioinformatics scientist and requested me to do a background research on a counsellor. She suggested that if she wanted I could book the session for her. I did my bit and while I dialed the number of the counsellor I said to myself, ‘I need help too.’ When the counsellor picked up the call I booked for two sessions, one was for me.

Taking that step hugely mattered. I gradually trusted myself sharing my information with an expert and developed my willingness to hear that expert.

All the healing work that I was doing had now started to make sense.

A few years later I started IADLife. Today I am myself a trained life coach. Through my company, I decided to connect and collaborate with other counsellors and life coaches from all over India to bring to you the healing solutions that are best suited for you.

 

I highly recommend counselling sessions for all. Even when you think you have reached the edge of the planet and there is no way forward or if you think you are doing great, take counselling. You will be surprised how much you can achieve through comprehensive speaking and listing. The more you are open and you allow yourself, the quicker you will reach the next step, which is more creativity, productivity, health, and happiness.

 

Counselling is meant for the development of confident self-reliance and not fearful or insecure dependencies.

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Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife.com
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Twitter: @IADLife
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What is in a term?- Nepotism

What’s in a term? – Nepotism.

what is in a term-nepotism
IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/07/22/what-is-in-a-term-nepotism
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Dear friend!

What is in a term? NepotismCase Study: Client: “Some people in my workplace look down on nepotism? I got my job on a recommendation. I just take it as if they are commenting on me. Maybe they are maybe they are not, but I feel low when I don’t have anything to contribute to this topic. How do I make myself feel better? I really need this job.”Counsellor: Get clear about what does this term mean for you. Clearly, the meaning of the term that you have adapted from others is in the same lines as your colleagues you are mentioning. These others are your caregivers, your friends or teachers that you trusted. Now create your own meaning. You have been told some points about ‘nepotism’. It goes against the stringent thinking connected to ‘earning what you receive.’ Until you get clear with your definition, be open to hearing new definitions from others. Here is my personal definition and viewpoint of the term or the action called ‘nepotism.’I am personally a big fan of ‘nepotism.’ According to my personal understanding ‘nepotism’ is defined as a recommendation for someone, based on who you want to extend the support or help. I believe it is not meant to climb the stairs or walk all the way to the top. There is no need to reinvent the wheel. Taking the elevator or an escalator is the help or an opportunity. Accepting the opportunity and doing your bit to contribute at a level that you need to contribute is your responsibility. Once you have the opportunity to reach till a certain place on your way to the top, from there surviving, excelling, and your productivity is on you. If you have the opportunity to be at a certain level and you accept that but, you have fear or guilt thoughts regarding the acceptance of the opportunity then, you may not fair/do well or do justice with the opportunity provided and you may lose the opportunity. Any company, business, project or task to move forward successfully it requires to be productive. For that, it requires productive people to be involved in it. That is right or even the best people for it. If you have been chosen, you must be the right fit in the final tapestry/picture.If an opportunity has been presented to you that means you are ready for it. You contemplating its social ethics and second-guessing is you showing self-doubt and this is complete lack of gratitude.When you show doubt in your readiness or preparedness to receive what comes with accepting of the opportunity, it is then that you receive the bad appraisals, jealous comments or adverse comments regarding you or of cases similar to you. These are a reflection of your thinking.  If according to you, you are failing or not good enough for the job then, it only means that your energy, focus, care, and attention is more on others.It is time to bring that energy, focus, care, and attention to you. Do what you have accepted the opportunity to do. Stop looking for approval from anyone else. First, give all that approval that you are seeking to your achievement of receiving the opportunity and to the opportunity itself. This you can do by celebrating and by working hard and smart to prove yourself in the job. Understanding what the hirer goes through with nepotism could also help. So, now what about people who have been thrust into a situation where they HAVE to hire someone through recommendation or because of nepotism? Sa a hirer, if you are open to giving them a chance to see how they perform in the job or if you have had good experiences attracting the right resources then, you would just look forward to their contribution. If you are not aligned with the decision and it is a forceful one then it will require a lot of evidence for you to be convinced that the person hired is the right choice. If you are certain that this person who has come through nepotism is not the right choice then, find out whether this opinion of yours is ‘job-oriented’ or ‘person oriented.’ If you care about the job that needs to get done then, shift the energy, focus, care, and attention to all that is getting done. If the good/important chunk of work still needs to be done then if you can, hire another person to do the rest. If your lack of acceptability is  ‘person oriented’ then, find out what about the person do you not like. It is the characteristics within you that you need or you wish to change. So work on that. Get comfortable and get the work done.  With all this knowledge about nepotism, both parties and from both sides, get to work. Be it a network, pull, connections, or inheritance, it is all yours. Allow this help. Give permission for these opportunities to enter your space. What happens next, how do you manage, and how you express your creative ideas is entirely up to you. Aim to do well there and go above that.

#nepotism #waytothetop #recommendation #job #responsibility #thankful
#acceptingopprtunity #aimhigher
#nepotismisopportunityprovided #forcefulhire

#affirmation #fastmanifestation #affirmwithgratitude #ask #deservinglife #grateful #thankyou #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach

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Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
Life Coach, Writer, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife.com
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Twitter: @IADLife
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HealingWithGratitude

IADLife ‘Great Minds Group’ WhatsApp Activity.  Start Date: August 1st, 2018. Duration: 1 Month.

Aug18GMGactivity_2

IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/07/18/aug18gmgactivity

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August workshop has been divided into two groups.

Group A: topics covered are Gratitude. This group will have 28 days + 3 days of exercises and instructions of the ‘The Magic’ Practice based on the book with the same name. Group A will be guided with the Gratitude practice only. How to carry out the exercise and all the questions pertaining to the Gratitude exercise is going to be addressed.

The cost is INR/Rs 1500/-.

Group B: topics Covered are Gratitude and Prosperity. This group will have 28 days + 3 days of exercises and instructions of the ‘The Magic’ Practice based on the book with the same name by Rhonda Bryne. Along with that, there is an additional topic of Prosperity that will be integrated in the 1-month practice and the group members will be counseled where ever requested.

Gratitude: members of group B will be guided with the Gratitude practice. How to carry out the exercise and all the questions pertaining to the Gratitude exercise is going to be addressed.

Prosperity: Members of group B will also be given an online course on prosperity. What is prosperity? Do you think you have enough of the prosperity? Recognising and removing prosperity blockages. Understanding the true meaning of prosperity.  Counseling will be given on life situations with solutions encompassing gratitude and prosperity. In case the solutions are other than these two topics then, a personal one on one sessions will be suggested.

The cost is INR/Rs 3000/-.

Registration has three steps:

(1) Sharing your WhatsApp number and confirming.

(2) Transferring cost through net banking, Paypal, depositing money to IADLife bank a/c.

(3) Informing IADLife of the transfer.

Upon that, your name will be added in the IADlife GMG group.

For details please write to us at WhatsApp number +919886077034, Call us at landline +91 80 42188074.

Do share with all who think can benefit.

Visit us at IADLife.com

Like us and follow us on http://www.facebook.com/IADLife

We are also on twitter @IADLife Instagram: iad_life

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#GratitudeandProsperity #fastmanifestation #affirmwithgratitude #ask #deservinglife #grateful #thankyou #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Why un-forgiveness persist

Why does un-forgiveness persist? – Wednesday Why?

WHY un-forgiveness persist
IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/07/03/why-un-forgiveness-persist
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Dear Friend!

Some forgiveness happens immediately. Some happen a little later. In rest of the cases or situations, un-forgiveness prevails seemingly forever.

What are the circumstances, situations or conditions because of which you are able to forgive? In absence of these, the forgiveness does not happen.

Is it your likeness for the person, thing or situation? Is the likeness for an attribute or characteristics like beauty, speech, gesture? This could be of the person who is relative, lover, spouse, friend, acquaintance or even a stranger.
Is it that you see it as having no other choice? Is it the job you need, indispensable relationship, social obligation or fear of missing out?

If it is any of these reasons then you are not really forgiving. You are ‘shoving under the rug.’ Next time ‘the hurt’ or something similar to ‘the hurt’ cross your path all the unresolved un-forgiveness accumulates and surfaces.

When forgiveness does not happen immediately you tend to subject yourself to live and re-live the hurtful life situations again and again, in order to have an opportunity to prove yourself, perform, react, and to respond better.

When un-forgiveness persists for long it becomes a habit.

Each un-forgiven life situation remains with you. It eventually and very seamlessly becomes a part of your behaviour and expression.

Anger, irritation, and frustration that you feel for something minuscule is the piled up un-forgiveness. It can be for someone you like/love or for a complete stranger.

*Un-forgiveness keeps you from moving forward.

*Un-forgiveness keeps you from manifesting your desires and is responsible for manifesting what you don’t desire. That is because you are first and foremost unclear about what you want. Un-forgiveness is responsible for that and so you miscommunicate what you want.

*Un-forgiveness keeps you from forming a connection with your inner-self, higher-self, and other high vibrational entities- God, Angels, Source, Universe, Life. Un-forgiveness thus is responsible for misinterpreting the communication that you receive.

All the past data stored in you, that includes the data on un-forgiveness, determine your present and future life experiences. All the past un-forgiveness define your reaction in the present and this keeps you stuck in past.

To free yourself of the past hurt(s) you need to clearly and truly forgive. For that, you need to have a clear understanding of forgiveness.

What is ‘forgiveness’ for you? How does ‘forgiveness’ look like to you? ‘Forgiveness’ has to be about you. It cannot be with something that happens with someone other than you. Because if it is to do with something that happens with anyone else, it may bring transitional relief but ultimately there is no benefit for you in the long run.

Definition of forgiveness that was mentioned in Oprah’s life class from an audience member was, “forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different.”

However, the present is your responsibility and you need to keep yourself from attracting such situations that are liable to cause un-forgiveness, in your life. You have to be mindful of recognising all the un-forgiveness, however subtle they are and work on releasing them.
For every situation – ‘What did you not like in the situation? Make a note.’

How do you know that you have forgiven? When you notice your anger, irritation and frustration level coming down. When you can laugh at the life-situation that would have otherwise offended and enraged you. When you are calm, indifferent or non-reactant towards the same life-situation that had earlier triggered a reaction that was not fun.

Actual permanent forgiveness happens when you are willing to find out what is it about the hurt that you are actually supposed to forgive and who is it that you are supposed to truly forgive?  Invariably, every analysis and every de-layering will take you or point you to your own self.

It will point you to something within you that you wish to change. Something in your life that you have yet to achieve. Something as in an action that you wish you had done differently.

Recognising that is the initiation of the forgiveness. Taking that action for which you are holding un-forgiveness towards yourself or an alternate action is what will get you that forgiveness.

Case Studies that explain how forgiveness was implemented.

Case Study 1:

“F was dumped by his two girlfriends back to back. In both relationships, his girlfriend moved on to their next relationship and he saw it as if he was being treated as invisible. His initial un-forgiveness was of course towards both his girlfriends. On realisation that he had not been clearly saying what he truly wanted in his relationships. When situations were tough or rough in each relationship instead of dealing with it, he would wish that it takes care of itself and would go silent. But, because of his belief in loyalty, it was a compulsion for him to stay in the relationship rather than clearly communicating that he was unhappy about a certain aspect. As a result, he asked and he made himself invisible in both relationships. As a process of forgiveness, the action he now needed to take was to say words that would clearly convey what he truly desires in his relationships and be willing to be present and even face a life situation and take responsibility of his actions.”

Case Study 2:

“C was taking out her trash. She wanted to convey to the person in charge of collecting the garbage, that there were sharp edges in the cardboard she was disposing of. She said what she could, using her acquired knowledge of the local language. The guy replied saying something that she understood was impolite. Whether he said it in his way of being friendly or was being plain rude, C replied by giving a smile and slightly thrusting her tongue out expressing her incapability to reply. Her reaction was to get the work done.

Initially, she was upset with the guy. But her actual un-forgiveness was towards herself because she was badgering herself in her mind for not learning the language in spite of being in the town for long and because she saw herself unable to stand up for herself. She could choose to learn the language to attain the fluency needed and she could respond by asking clearly what was being told or if she understands and does not like the conversation she could say so right there to that person.”

Case Study 3:

“H realised that the summer was getting over in a week and his assignment that was due for submission was no were near completion. He has started but he did not complete for other engagements kept coming in his way. He was troubled that he was not disciplined and dedicated enough to respect his timetable and therefore could not get that from others. He could stay annoyed at all that had pulled him away from his assignment completion or he could get to work. He could resume his assignment and then set the schedule and timelines.”

Do remember forgiveness is not justifying what does not seem right. Forgiveness is making way for greatest and highest in everything that you deserve. Because it is a deserving life.

Forgiveness can also be pending when you see the need to ask for forgiveness from someone other than yourself. Un-forgiveness persists when you see yourself having done wrong. Here recognising that you could have done something differently or what you could do differently is expedited, as the focus on self-comes sooner.

Case Study 4:

Case Study: “J took his mother to a dentist. Everyone from the receptionist to the dentist was very polite the clinic was very hi-tech. The dentist when attending to his mother was very chatty and J could see that the dentist’s techniques were making his mother very uncomfortable. J continued to reply to the chat keeping one eye on his mother. He did not stop the doctor or ask his mother if she wanted the procedure to continue. After the clinic visit, J’s mother complained that her lower gums were numb and she was uncomfortable. J felt guilty of not speaking up on behalf of his mother and not stopping the dentist who was conversing too much during the procedure.

To get the forgiveness and feel being forgiven, him apologising is only the first step. He also needs to acknowledge to himself that he needs to get over the formalities and speak up anytime there is an uncomfortable situation where he is involved.”

The depth and magnanimity of the hurt are not proportional to the time it takes for the un-forgiveness to convert to forgiveness.  It is your willingness to get to the action that you need to acknowledge and take, that determines how soon the un-forgiveness dissipates.

Harboring un-forgiveness till the other person can say ‘sorry’ may not get you to the forgiveness state. You need to be in the forgiveness state to receive it. That depends on how much you are willing to solve the matter. This also applies to where you see the need to apologise and have been waiting for the approval that follows.

Recognising, acknowledging and willing to or possibly actually taking action by you is the only way.

 

#lookwithin #takeaction #wednesdayswhy #lifeswhyanswered #takingresponsibility #forgiveness #unforgivenesspersists #affirming #Blog #Author #writer
#healing #counsellor #lifeCoach

#reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife.com
www.facebook.com/IADLife
Twitter: @IADLife
Instagram: iad_life

receiving help

Understanding and removing blockage in receiving help
IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/06/25/receiving-help
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RECEIVING HELP2

What causes the blockage in taking help?
This has been explained using a case study, how these blockages quietly seep in and get so deep-rooted that recognising it requires a detailed analysis.

Case Study: G narrates her life experience. “When I was growing up, my father suddenly became rude and cruel to me while my parents were trying to have their third child. I was the second daughter and I was made clear early on that I was ‘extra’ because what they wanted was a boy. To show his discontent about my presence in and around him my father, became very vocal about how everything about me was causing him distress. So he started pointing out to my eight-year-old self through his conservative thoughts that he saw wrong in me. That started planting a belief in me that registered in me as  I was not good enough and therefore is I need to do better. My mother followed suit. Her actions seemed to agree with him. She got upset with me easily as compared to my siblings. Beatings happened and one time pencil jabbing in my palm while she was trying to teach me also happened. She never came to rescue me from my father or even to give me assurance of any kind that would refute my father’s attitude towards me. I stopped complaining to them. I started complaining to myself. That became self-blame. All the blame, scarcity of approval and lack of direction and guidance was pushing me more and more towards picking up scraps from what my understanding of what possibly pleases my father. That was primarily to get into his good books. That never happened.

My father was religious as I gathered from his prayer rituals and reading of the religious books. As an example, my father asked me to read through a chapter of a religious book a day before my exams results were going to be out. I did it. There were some sentences with which I completely disagreed even as a ten-year-old, but I carried out his wish of reading it anyway. This continued as I grew older. I never worked hard to get anywhere to succeed in anything I just looked for alternatives like religious steps like visiting holy places and reading religious books. I failed in classes, I never participated in any extra-curricular activities or even sports as it did not seem to please my father. The disapproval continued and my efforts in alternatives to focussing on what I needed to do, continued. If I was not doing well in exams, I was supposed to study more or take help in that, instead, I studied just enough to show him and as soon as he was out of sight I would stop. I did not see the point. As a result, I use to fall behind in understanding all subjects and I would fail. I became a big ball of excuses in telling myself on all the reasons why I was not doing well. And the excuse was always different from the real reason. As the real reason pointed me in the direction of working on it. As I said, I could not see the point or could not bring myself to motivate myself to do the work. The work that did was according to me never up to the mark and the rating systems always agreed with this thinking of mine. I also became a dodger and I would choose to avoid rather than to confront and address where I needed help. I also had no friends for the same reason, my father would ill-treat them too.

By the time I realised that the suffering was all mine and to do well in any and all areas of my life I needed to move my butt, I was sucked too deep into the belief of not being good enough. I worked when I was pushed by fear and that included carrying out religious rituals. I never seem to do enough and I never seem to do it in the right direction. The disapproval had started to spread, from anyone and everyone in my life. I was not able to receive love or approval even from one person including my own self. This was so painful that I started eliminating people by emulating my father’ behavior. Because it was not true behavior or in agreement with my true beliefs, so it boomeranged. I kept trying to do everything on my own and ‘pass with flying colors’, something I had never achieved. Because my foundation was weak, there was no self-motivation and there was an aversion towards taking external support.

Whether it was health, establishing myself in work or consoling in my personal loss I never attracted any loving support system. The painful belief that something was amiss in me was further added through the quality of relationships and their opinions. I was just getting by. I was very clear that regardless of what I do it was not enough as I was never enough. In college and University, I became a rank student and I still found excuses to substantiate that I was still not enough.

A cousin of mine failed her second-year graduation exam. When she was asked she swore that she wrote fifteen pages in her exam. It was quite a wonder so she was probed further on the answers she attempted. She said that she wrote nearly eight to nine pages on the first essay type that was on Independence Day. But, because she did not know much about it so she wrote on the ‘Republic Day.’ True story.

I had been doing the same thing all throughout my life. My efforts and my energy had been towards what was not the goal but what was someone else’s belief based actions.

I have been trying to prove to myself or to the reflection of the part within me of my father. I had been trying to prove my capability and capacity and therefore, as a result, I preferred to do everything myself. The reason, there would only be self-criticism to deal with. As a result, the support started being very customised according to my pace and my willingness of allowance. Thus the support was limited in every way including the quality and quantity.

The only time I have people in my space to support me is when (a) I can’t prove myself in a certain task, or (b) I don’t want to do a certain task. But I convince myself that I am not able to prove myself.

 

After reviewing my past and knowing the genesis and reason for not being able to receive help, Why is it still tough to accept and/or to allow the support?

When there are more people in my space then, my behaviour, schedule, temperament, pace, approval all have to align with the behaviour, schedule, temperament, pace, approval of others. Both need to be answerable to each other to establish the alignment.

I am answerable to myself for getting the work done or reaching my goal.

I need to have clarity in understanding on authority and responsibility. That requires tremendous support for self from myself. Any resistance, blockages that were keeping me from achieving that has to be acknowledged and solved. And I need to have the willingness to do that.

Anything in me that has been postponing the development of this understanding, has been responsible for the dis-allowance of support. And therefore till I allow the understanding to be implemented in my space, the support I allow in my space will keep missing the mark.

And the SOLUTION to this is in knowing the following:

(A) How did I recognise that I was blocking support earlier and that I am not doing that anymore?

For that, I had to find out, (i) if I am a team player?, (ii) how am I in teamwork? (iii), had I shared a living space?, (iv) how were I with my siblings or cousins?

I was to notice if I were uncomfortable, not motivated, never did enough or so I said to myself, in participating, contributing, approving in a teamwork. I give it a number. Zero being the least and ten being the highest. Each time I encounter discomfort in teamwork I give it a number and I notice how soon do I convert the discomfort to ‘not uncomfortable anymore’ and that tells me how far I have reached.

I listen to my thoughts. I abide by my decisions, suggestions, and ideas. I take a step or two as a gesture of its acknowledgment. Even the most subtle support is accepted by me. If I recognise the support after its departure or after the moment is gone then at least I acknowledge it. The more I take the above action(s) the better are my statistics. I do things that are fun and I do things because I want to. When the support system is introduced I don’t need to compromise or sacrifice. I am clear so I just need to align.

I also remember that I, me and myself is the first team I work with. So I don’t need to wait to be part of a team of more members. I apply the same steps of practice when the opportunity of being a team member with others, does present itself.

(B) I have understood my life, so what now?

  • Be clear on my role and my contribution.
  • Keep adding to my skill.
  • Be communicative.
  • Be cooperative.
  • Do my bit.
  • Notice, note, and acknowledge my bit and benefits from it.
  • When external help arrives I receive it or reject it based on the level of its attractiveness to me. But if I do agree to receive it I express gratitude for it for it is telling me the vibration that I am in and also for the contribution in my support. This will give me time to get clear on the type of support I desire. This will increase my vibration and I will be able to attract more attractive support in my space that will be comfortable and elating for me to receive.

The reluctance to share, over dependencies and over the top loyalties are evidence that I still see myself not doing enough. What I share and how much I share is adequate sharing. Dependencies are good but I need to channelise on the right dependencies. Loyalty has to start with self.  Once this addressed important thing is that my work gets done and I feel enough.”
#blockagesintakinghelp #REMOVINGBLOCKAGES #RECEIVINGHELP
#help #blockages
#healing #counsellor #lifeCoach #reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Reena Yadav

Life Coach, Writer, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife.com
www.facebook.com/IADLife
Twitter: @IADLife
Instagram: iad_life

 

reached the surface

Message from Reena Yadav on her 5 Years with IADLife.
Have I reached the surface yet?
reached yet.pptx

IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/05/16/reached-the-surface
www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear Friend!
Have I reached the surface yet?

This is the question I have been asking myself since last one and half months. Last year I had mentioned that I have just started to swim to the surface.

Well, the whole year was full of learning and understanding. This is a job where there is no dearth of internal revelations that add to the self-growth. Willingness to change has been the key. Mainly because once the intention was set to bring joy to billions of people all over the planet through IADLife services and products, the Universe started to prepare both me and IADLife toward that. Level of self-preparation required was something I had not fathomed. The year that was, thus gave me the training in every way to understand and de-layer my subject that enhances my confidence to cater to any and every person for any and every life situations. I learned about keeping an eye on the vibrations and being grateful for what I already have. I learned that along with vibration and gratitude the only other key factors to getting work done are actions and words.

One of my revelations about me was that of me being a person who had been waiting. Waiting for something to happen and I had held a lot of other entities responsible for bringing to me for what I was waiting. Interestingly, A. I was unclear about what was I waiting for, B. because of the long wait the vibrations lowered so whatever came my way was not a vibration raising outcome. A catch 22 situation, I had created for myself. The way out of this whirlpool of the pattern was the realisation that I need to step up and look at all that I have already achieved.

Every idea is a good one. Every step is a step forward. Provided the idea is implemented and the step is taken. Resources that are there in my space are adequate for now and I am to be open and welcoming to the resources that start to pour in soon after.

I have always believed in technological advancement. Every technology and social networking site, I know of, was explored and we expanded our network. I am very certain that there are many more that we can explore.

IADLife products and services have been made available through these social networking sites and in ways that are most convenient to the IADLife clients.

Many of my revelations and learning came through self-introspection of my life experiences and from interaction with the IADLife clientele about their life situations. These were written in the form of IADLife chapters and shared through the social networking sites.

IADLife and I are constantly looking for ways to share with as many people as we can reach, across the globe. We sincerely believe this will be of use to them in some important way.

This past year I have been more comfortable and accepting of my physical self than I have ever been. The calmness that I feel in my forehead is what tells me of my level of comfort, when I am thinking of myself as an amputee or when I receive the look or the behaviour from some other person.

My job profile is shaping me into promoting me to take a step rather than stopping myself. Me standing by myself is regardless to what happens next. Always keeping myself and all associated peacefully protected and affirming to attract what is beneficial, is what I do. My way of functioning is that before every step even if it is a mail or a phone call reply, I affirm it has a result for the greatest and highest good for everyone involved and that there is a magnificent outcome.

From me to IADLife, I am happy, grateful, thankful and blessed to have a job at IADLife, as Life Coach, Writer, Researcher, and Proprietrix. I pray, have faith and affirm that things will only keep getting better and better day by day and every way. I affirm that we create all that will align with the intention set by IADLife. We will continue to share with the world what we have learned and created in the coming year that includes book publishing and online courses.

I am a big proponent of blessings and prayers, so my kind request is that you please shower us with your high vibrational ones.

If last year I thought I was clear this year I am clearer. I can predict what is in store next, more clarity. I believe learning happens in three stages understanding, acknowledging, and implementing. With every stage, the clarity is more.
Now I understand and acknowledge that I have been on the surface, and I am supposed to stop waiting and begin my swim toward the direction of my choosing and thrive. So, that is what I am doing.

Reena Yadav

Life Coach, Writer, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife

#reachedthesurface #anniversary #fiveyearanniversary #gratitude
#learning #wordsandaction #vibrations

#affirmation #affirmwithgratitude #deservinglife #grateful #thankyou #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach

#reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
Life Coach, Writer, Researcher, and Proprietrix- IADLife

WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife.com
www.facebook.com/IADLife
Twitter: @IADLife
Instagram: iad_life

forgiveness aided by gratitude

“When forgiveness is difficult, has not worked or is taking time then switch to GRATITUDE.
Forgiveness works seamlessly and beautifully when aided by GRATITUDE.”
Fogiveness-Gratitude.jpg IADLife Online Activity: The Magic GRATITUDE practice.
IADLife Next Chapter: https://itsadeservinglife.wordpress.com/2018/05/15/forgiveness-aided-by-gratitude
www.facebook.com/IADLife

Dear friend,

Hurt heals with forgiveness. Hurt comes with learning. Un-forgiveness persists when the understanding, acknowledgment, complete understanding of the learning is incomplete or has yet to happen.

In a hurt situation, you could be grateful for the learning.

Learning is pertaining to the understanding of dos and donts. What to do or what not to do and what should be or what it should not be. You can choose to shift the focus from the person or the situation and direct your attention towards what you have learned. Bombard your thoughts with all that is good, beneficial and working in your space. This reduces anger, frustration, and stress. Thus there is a shift in focus and instead of attracting the hurt again you start to attract more of all that is good, beneficial and all that is working in your space. This raises your vibration, brings in self-confidence.

If you are carrying hurt by someone or by some incident in your life, the only way to move forward is forgiveness. Sometimes it may happen that your memory of past hurt keeps surfacing and is keeping you from achieving the complete forgiveness.

Forgiveness is now feasible. Because you will now be able to see that you have more than the hurt that was keeping you from moving forward in life. It was the un-forgiveness.

You start noticing and attracting more of what is desirable and life-enhancing. Recognising and stepping out of the quicksand of un-forgiveness is now a realisation.

When something hurtful happens in your life. You heal yourself by self-forgiveness because you are responsible for what you attract in your life. So now you can be responsible for the healing of your life.

Dr. Hew Len’s Hoʻoponopono (ho-o-pono-pono) is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It is known for opening your heart chakra. It’s based around four key phrases.

“I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I Love you.”

 

Thus substantiating the understanding that gratitude paves way for the forgiveness to take place.

In case you have been able to forgive but have not have been able to quite stay there then gratitude smoothens the way and supports you to exponentially stay in the space of forgiveness.

 

Gratitude eliminates or converts fear, anger, frustration, irritation, and stress into something more calmer and accepting.

 

Case study, “D was constantly getting irritated and felt the temper and head heaviness. The irritation was on the person, thing, conversation, viewpoint or event and just about anything. He was himself getting perplexed at his internal and sometimes external outbursts. Very soon stomach acidity and Hematochezia,  caused him to sit up and take notice.

On taking counselling, it was understood that the stacking of anger toward a close relative was causing this anomaly in the feelings and behaviour. He had been unable to forgive and this was causing the piling up of hurt and anger that surfaced every now and then, wherever there was a scope of un-forgiveness.

For the physical manifestation of the disease, the energy healing along with gratitude practice was recommended. Gratitude in or toward every single thing that would even cause a hint of irritation was now mandatory for him. Initially, when he started with the gratitude practice, he found it very difficult to find anything to be grateful for because, at every instance, the un-forgiveness would start to surface. So it was suggested to him to look for gratitude in other things along with the subject that was causing the upsurge of anger or irritation. So he started looking for what else can he be grateful for in and around his life. The moment he did that, he started calming down. Eventually, looking for gratitude towards the point of irritation now became a possibility. Forgiveness was close and was next to follow. He dedicatedly gave time to do the exercise to find what he could be grateful for with the close relative he had been harboring so much of un-forgiveness toward. It took him few days of sitting but he noticed that he did not feel anger every time the close relative’s name was mentioned or a related thought crossed his mind. Thus this gratitude practice lead to forgiveness.

His health got better and he did not feel the stress as much as he had been feeling before the practice.”

The un-forgiveness is what blocks your visibility to the blessings in a difficult situation or with a difficult person. To keep your focus on what you truly desire and want to attract, it is essential to let go all the reasons and excuses that are keeping you from achieving that.

“When forgiveness is difficult, has not worked or is taking time then, switch to gratitude. Forgiveness works  seamlessly and beautifully  when aided by GRATITUDE.”

#themagicpractice #rhondabryne #themagic #gratitude #grateful #thankful
#creativevisualization
#forgiveness #Hoʻoponopono

#affirmation #fastmanifestation #affirmwithgratitude #ask #deservinglife #grateful #thankyou #healing #counsellor #lifeCoach

#reenayadav #iadlife #itsadeservinglife

Thank You and Best Wishes
Reena Yadav, IADLife
WhatsApp Number: +919886077034
IADLife.com
www.facebook.com/IADLife
Twitter: @IADLife
Instagram: iad_life